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Post by lollygagger on Mar 27, 2018 7:06:51 GMT
I'll tell you what I really hate about my new Thai bride. She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!
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Post by naughtyfox on Mar 31, 2018 8:41:31 GMT
You know you've arrived at Leeds-Bradford Airport when there's a sign at Border Control for the ebygumPassports.
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Joke Time
Apr 1, 2018 11:01:37 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Apr 1, 2018 11:01:37 GMT
Well, you've got past the dross... You deserve a reward.....
What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Post by Delta9 on Apr 6, 2018 16:03:16 GMT
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Post by Stumpy on Apr 6, 2018 17:15:46 GMT
Well, you've got past the dross... You deserve a reward..... What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. Foxy Babes. Up to the attic please, with the rest of 'em.
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Joke Time
Apr 6, 2018 17:22:46 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Apr 6, 2018 17:22:46 GMT
Well, you've got past the dross... You deserve a reward..... What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. Foxy Babes. Up to the attic please, with the rest of 'em. nowt to do with that scurrilous migrant, I stole it with my own fair hands, off farcebook.
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Post by Stumpy on Apr 7, 2018 0:17:54 GMT
Sad to hear last night that Eric Bristow had died. He did a lot for various charities, he even coached a convent team for a charity match against professionals. The Mother Superior was team captain and threw first, double top, double top, then her last dart hit the wire and bounced out, hitting one of the sisters between the eyes, killing her instantly. The compere announced "One nun dead and eighty!"
TAXI
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Post by naughtyfox on Apr 7, 2018 4:44:35 GMT
"Foxy Babes."
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Joke Time
Apr 7, 2018 15:13:57 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Apr 7, 2018 15:13:57 GMT
Sad to hear last night that Eric Bristow had died. He did a lot for various charities, he even coached a convent team for a charity match against professionals. The Mother Superior was team captain and threw first, double top, double top, then her last dart hit the wire and bounced out, hitting one of the sisters between the eyes, killing her instantly. The compere announced "One nun dead and eighty!" TAXII'll call you one, "Stumps you are a Taxi"
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Post by Andyberg on Apr 8, 2018 10:26:03 GMT
I Just passed a RAC man sobbing his eyes out in his van.
Now Iβm no expert on the subject but it looks like heβs headed for a breakdown.
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Post by phil70 on Apr 9, 2018 7:22:07 GMT
My dog kept jumping up at me so I told him to get down.......He started dancing and throwing some great shapes.
Phil
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Post by Stumpy on Apr 10, 2018 10:41:43 GMT
A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door today so I invited him in, gave him tea and biscuits and said to him,
"So, what's this Jehovah's Witness malarkey about then?"
"I haven't got a feckin' clue" He replied. "I've never got this far before!"
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Post by Stumpy on Apr 12, 2018 17:38:31 GMT
My budgie broke his leg today, so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vesta matches, his little face lit up when he tried to walk. Unfortunately, I forgot to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.
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Post by JohnV on Apr 12, 2018 20:23:20 GMT
that is soooo wicked
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Joke Time
Apr 14, 2018 17:26:59 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Apr 14, 2018 17:26:59 GMT
Need a few for a meal, but roast budgie makes an ok tapas.
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