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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2017 16:40:38 GMT
The commitment two people make to each other is important. The rest is flim flam and personal choice.
We went to Barnsley Town Hall in 1979, at 11am on a Wednesday morning. It doesn't matter where you marry, how much you spend, or who comes to watch. It's down to two people making a commitment.
Don't be forced it into it if the two of you don't wish to marry. You don't need a formal ceremony to commit to each other.
Rog
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Post by patty on Feb 21, 2017 16:58:28 GMT
What ever you chose to do make sure legally your assets go to who you want them to. I believe living together does not give same rights as marriage and if their are kids from a first marriage grown up you may find if you pop your clogs your partner will lose everything...This happened to some one I knew and she was evicted....he died without having written a will and she had no protection Protect those you love..you don't need fancy paper work or marriage but a will and legal documents ...yep you need them Though dunno about pension rights if u are not married... As to that couple on the news..I just switch off when I hear story now..what a load of......
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Post by Mr Stabby on Feb 21, 2017 17:03:18 GMT
I have a cunning plan to deal with that...
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Post by naughtyfox on Feb 21, 2017 17:09:48 GMT
We went to Barnsley Town Hall in 1979, at 11am on a Wednesday morning. Blimey, that's funny - we went to Barnsley in July 2015, and went into the town hall - there was a wedding going on there! Took the train along the Penistone Line from Huddersfield. Barnsley town hall. The foundation stone was laid on 21 April 1932 and was opened by His Royal Highness Edward, Prince of Wales on 14 December 1933. The cost of construction of the town hall and of furnishing the new seat of local government was £188,037 12/10d. George Orwell in his book The Road to Wigan Pier was highly critical of this expenditure, and claimed that the council should have spent the money on improving the housing and living conditions of the local miners. Orwell spent a number of days in the town living in the houses of the working-class miners while researching for the book.
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Post by leo326 on Feb 21, 2017 17:19:32 GMT
Neither marriage nor civil partnership have anything to do with love, sex, or faithfullness. They are to do with inheritance, in it's many forms. Any partnership between any adults should have their communal assets simmilarly protected. Take the example of a brother and sister who buy a house using communal funds. Should they not have their inheritance protected? Then add in a further sibling and you are way outside the western version of marriage and civil partnerships. In at least one country you can register such partnerships an thereby retain full rights to default inheritance. In this country, and many others, we are way behind the monkeys in legalising relationships.
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Post by dyertribe on Feb 21, 2017 19:16:12 GMT
I had not noticed that. Sorry I meant could. It was more rhetoric than anything. To be fair, we should get married but we always said saving for a house was more important. I'm happy anyway, I asked my local vicar, in jest if we were living in sin, he said it's ok now. I don't even know what we would gain out of getting married apart from the declaration of love and all that do I don't know what we're missing. I saw the two on the news. They seemed to have a point but I've no idea what it is. The whole idea that a marriage ceremony must cost a fortune and outdo the neighbours' wedding, is ludicrous. Why not just get married in a registry office, couple of witnesses, off down the pub for a pissup and that's it. £50 should do it. It is about your own commitment to each other, not about impressing the friends and relatives. Reasons to do it: As an unofficial partner you could for instance: Be denied attendance at partner's funeral let alone any say in how it's run, if the in-laws don't like you not have any say in the treatment and care of a seriously ill partner; not have automatic inheritance of partner's assets on death nor get the IHT relief not be entitled to a surviving spouse's pension and probably lots of other things We get people coming to us to write their wills and want inheritance tax advice when they are not married the best and first advice is ........ get married! if you want a say in the treatment and care of a seriously ill partner the surest way is to get a Lasting Power of Attorney for Health and Welfare.
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Post by loafer on Feb 21, 2017 19:58:26 GMT
Who cares? I'm just annoyed about having to pay for ONE COUPLE who can't decide how to live together!
Jeez.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2017 21:30:25 GMT
I've been with the the mother of my children for nearly 8 years.
We have decided to have an "uncivil partnership" as being straight we can't have a civil one. (she's a nightmare to live with - i'm a nightmare to live with so the term fits anyway. Not sure if this is legally allowed but I don't give a shit to be honest. She'll always be my woman I'll always be her man.
The institution of marriage is something I am deeply cynical about but that probably comes from my parents' high conflict divorce when I was 12 and my fathers subsequent remarriage
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Post by Telemachus on Feb 21, 2017 22:23:48 GMT
I've been with the the mother of my children for nearly 8 years. We have decided to have an "uncivil partnership" as being straight we can't have a civil one. (she's a nightmare to live with - i'm a nightmare to live with so the term fits anyway. Not sure if this is legally allowed but I don't give a shit to be honest. She'll always be my woman I'll always be her man. The institution of marriage is something I am deeply cynical about but that probably comes from my parents' high conflict divorce when I was 12 and my fathers subsequent remarriage Yeabut put the psychobabble and antiestablishmentarianism aside, it all comes back to security when one of you is incapacitated, how will you feel if her family tell you to fuck off as she lies unconscious in hospital? And then they send the bailiffs round demanding half of all your things after she dies?
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Post by quaysider on Feb 22, 2017 6:18:09 GMT
fwiw, whilst I agree in principle a normal couple should be able to be in a CP - WHAT a waste of time and everyone's money their "fight" for equality is.
WE are only in a CP because at the time we did it, it was the only legal option available to "easily" ensure if I died on the operating table, Andy would get my local authority death grant and widows pension... pure and simple. In our case, we just did the paper work with 1 witness each followed by a quick drink at the pub and back to work by 2 the same day...
HAD marriage been available, we'd have just done the paperwork there too.
We did it in secret so as avoid the cringe factor and subsequent bad feelings that would have arisen as a result of his family attending and mine being unwilling to.
We'd have done it in secret if we'd have been able to get married too.
Why the secrecy? - well a side from the reason mentioned, having spent much of our lives attending OTHER peoples weddings, as much as I might "care" - "love" - "respect" them... there was rarely an occasion when I thought 'oh that's good - a party to go to but FIRST I need to spend a load of cash on suitable clothing, hotels, presents and then transport and drinks etc... ergo best part of 400 quid a time for something SOMEONE else wanted to do.'
That may sound tight but over the years the "cost" has mounted up - ok so I have worn the same suit a couple of times but you know what I mean.
AS for "upgrading" to marriage - I don't feel the need ... we have the legal protection we need and now our wills are in place, what's the point.
SHOULD the CP be abolished, I wonder if they would rescind our CP "licence" and replace it free of charge with a wedding certificate? - nah... we'd no doubt get another bill.
so back to the ops original pondering, that couple have too much time on their hands and could be doing something GOOD for people such as walking old peoples dogs or spending a bit of time chatting with a lonely neighbour rather than parading on tv wanting equality!
Just saying....
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2017 7:43:51 GMT
I've been with the the mother of my children for nearly 8 years. We have decided to have an "uncivil partnership" as being straight we can't have a civil one. (she's a nightmare to live with - i'm a nightmare to live with so the term fits anyway. Not sure if this is legally allowed but I don't give a shit to be honest. She'll always be my woman I'll always be her man. The institution of marriage is something I am deeply cynical about but that probably comes from my parents' high conflict divorce when I was 12 and my fathers subsequent remarriage Yeabut put the psychobabble and antiestablishmentarianism aside, it all comes back to security when one of you is incapacitated, how will you feel if her family tell you to fuck off as she lies unconscious in hospital? And then they send the bailiffs round demanding half of all your things after she dies? Have to admit I did not know that her family would have a claim on my assets if she died !! We have no shared financial assets but the idea of them being able to claim directly from me in the event of her death sounds very worrying. Is that really right? If so its extraordinary.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2017 7:53:30 GMT
Yeabut put the psychobabble and antiestablishmentarianism aside, it all comes back to security when one of you is incapacitated, how will you feel if her family tell you to fuck off as she lies unconscious in hospital? And then they send the bailiffs round demanding half of all your things after she dies? Have to admit I did not know that her family would have a claim on my assets if she died !! We have no shared financial assets but the idea of them being able to claim directly from me in the event of her death sounds very worrying. Is that really right? If so its extraordinary. Yup! Nick is spot on with all his comments. Marriage also provides a good vehicle to escape the worst of inheritance tax - although Nick may have already mentioned that.
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Post by patty on Feb 22, 2017 7:54:01 GMT
The ever rising cost of marriage is eye watering as is any celebratory occasion..they know how to milk money from people. I've attended a few weddings..not a lot as circle of friends ever decreasing..family only and tbh its the only time everyone got together, none of the weddings hit the big spending money stakes...they were actually OK...without attending I'd never have seen again some of the people there. The only eye watering cost I think was the brides dress. For my kids weddings..2 of them I wore the same outfit which cost me £50..had no intention of competing with the she monster who attended the second wedding....its as well I made that choice as it turned out...I felt comfortable and now outfit stored in case another of mine ties the knot. For my sisters kids weddings I wore an outfit I brought for my other life that I loved and never to my mind had enough wear out of..another £60.. The only other wedding I was bridesmaid. My brother was registry office and chinese meal at a pub. What I'm saying is that it doesn't have to cost the earth..when my sisters kids all tied the knot Karen and I waded in to help with what we could...I made sugar roses for one of the cakes, help set up venues, cleared away..it became real quality family time and some wonderful treasured moments are stored in memories vaults. As for cost b and b...for one I took my boat, for another 2 made weekend of it and the others local to where i was living.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2017 8:08:21 GMT
I've been with the the mother of my children for nearly 8 years. We have decided to have an "uncivil partnership" as being straight we can't have a civil one. (she's a nightmare to live with - i'm a nightmare to live with so the term fits anyway. Not sure if this is legally allowed but I don't give a shit to be honest. She'll always be my woman I'll always be her man. The institution of marriage is something I am deeply cynical about but that probably comes from my parents' high conflict divorce when I was 12 and my fathers subsequent remarriage Yeabut put the psychobabble and antiestablishmentarianism aside, it all comes back to security when one of you is incapacitated, how will you feel if her family tell you to fuck off as she lies unconscious in hospital? And then they send the bailiffs round demanding half of all your things after she dies? Who are you referring to when you say "her family". If you are referring to my children then I understand it and that makes sense and is as it should be. But the idea of one of her brothers (for example) claiming half my assets is surely ridiculous ?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 22, 2017 8:19:37 GMT
Yeabut put the psychobabble and antiestablishmentarianism aside, it all comes back to security when one of you is incapacitated, how will you feel if her family tell you to fuck off as she lies unconscious in hospital? And then they send the bailiffs round demanding half of all your things after she dies? Who are you referring to when you say "her family". If you are referring to my children then I understand it and that makes sense and is as it should be. But the idea of one of her brothers (for example) claiming half my assets is surely ridiculous ? www.kingsmanassociates.co.uk/Unmarried_Couples.html
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