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Post by Trina on May 8, 2016 19:38:14 GMT
Balti curries...I'm in Brum...can't exist without a decent balti.Save that number !
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Post by PaulG2 on May 8, 2016 20:06:11 GMT
The refugee eyed the snack menu. Alas, neither pickled armadillo arse nor Cajun fluffy bunny bits were to be seen. "I can live without the pickled armadillo arse", he thought, "but surely they have fluffy bunnies here, and Cajun fluffy bunny bits are easy enough to make."
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Post by Trina on May 8, 2016 20:17:41 GMT
But,but,but...won't the fluffy bits get stuck between your teeth?spit, cough,gag...
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Post by loafer on May 8, 2016 20:47:26 GMT
'Oh fuckinell' said Loafer. 'It's not my brother is it? He drinks a lot of that larger stuff. I did try to heddicate him when her were just a babby.'
'Come over 'ere,' said John, very secretively, to Loafer. 'We need to get this sort of thing sorted.'
'Yes, yes,' gasped Loafer, excited at the prospect of doing something other than polishing the FUCKING BRASS again. 'What do we need to do, John?'
'Well, my boy, just go and get me a pair of handcuffs, a large bucket, and a funnel. Oh, and fill the bucket with Crutley's Gullet Scourer 6X on yer way back'
'Yes, yes John!' gasped Loafer, still dizzy from his recent punt trip.
Loafer knew what John had in mind, with the beer, the funnel, and a self-confessed Stella drinker handcuffed to the water pipe. Did you, readers?
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Post by Trina on May 8, 2016 20:50:54 GMT
Mrs BB wasn't quite sure what was going on...but she was getting quite excited about the handcuffs
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Post by JohnV on May 8, 2016 20:58:29 GMT
John meanwhile was studying his Boys Own book of Foreign Beers, "Huh " he muttered "Coors possibly, Michelob perhaps as well, .....Schlitz .... heh heh Bet that gives you the Schitz ..........If he wants Budweiser he can drink it standing outside but if he wants that Texan Lone Star beer I'll hand him over to the Coate Faerie"
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Post by loafer on May 8, 2016 21:05:43 GMT
Mrs BB wasn't quite sure what was going on...but she was getting quite excited about the handcuffs Mrs BB wan't alone in that. Loafer had inadvertently been reading earlier posts, and hadn't included the quote form the post he was answering. He retired to his punt quietly, especially as he knew he still had some explaining to do to Mrs Loafer, who was beginning to notice that some more work was required on the grouting in the shower. 'Patty Anne, Patty Anne! What happened to that pink grout you promised me?' he moaned. And that Metal Woman. Where is she? SHE started it!' All perfectly normal. Carry on, everyone. Normal service will resume as soon as Loafer emerges from his new punt in the morning.
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Post by loafer on May 8, 2016 21:14:03 GMT
Loafer just noticed today's paper as he was on his way to his pit at the back of his punt. 'Trump and British Prime Minister Johnson agree new agreements', said the headline.
'Must read that sometime', Loafer thought to himself, just before his vibrating electric toothbrush shattered all of his thoughts (until his next wife-borne cup of tea, some hours after it got light!).
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Post by JohnV on May 8, 2016 21:20:39 GMT
John meanwhile was still thumbing through the lists of American beers "Huh" he grunted "Don't even know whereabouts he comes from he could be a Texan or a Floridian or for pete's sake he might be a Coon Ass or even a Hoosier" He scratched himself and came to a decision "Bugger it I'll go with the original idea and order a few dozen cases of Michelob and a few Coors, but I'm not sure that's as good as it used to be " He ambled pff warbling "The beer that made Milwaukee fayamous........."
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Post by peterboat on May 8, 2016 21:42:15 GMT
"American beer Is there such a thing" Peter asked Taff? Taff wondered about the question then decided that the nibbles on the bar looked very tasty, he slyly nicked a dish or two and hid behind the sofa so he wouldnt be disturbed. "Bugger" said Peter "John what are you playing at getting in american beer aint our exotic drinks good enough for im?" Muttering Peter sat drinjking his well chilled lemonchello muttering about foreign drinks and all that rubbish.............
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Post by JohnV on May 8, 2016 22:52:13 GMT
Suddenly a green cloud rose from behind the sofa followed by a hairy streak that shot across the bar and out through the door A puzzled Peter watched in amazement "Blimey" he remarked to John "was that Taff? if it was I haven't seen him move that fast since the time he spotted the neutering shears in the vet's bag" John meantime was staring in horror as the green cloud grew larger "For God's sake Peter, tell me you haven't been feeding Taff those pickled Squirrels Nuts"
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2016 0:16:28 GMT
Ah "G'day sport" you must be that new yank chap, welcome to the bridge ole stash, here get yer laughin gear around this its vintage Humpty thunder its not too bad if I say so me self. Anyways me an this Italian girl here Gigi, ave a severe case of the munchies, there's bugger all decent on the bar menu so were borrowing the black Thunderpunt an heading to town for some stores. Its got this Lister thingy init but dont worry Gigi knows how ta get it goin & run it, we can work to lock gates too bloody easy mate. Yeah Gigi's a fine italian cook and is promising to knock up a mighty home made pizza or three when we get there, mull up some of ya blue dream into a couple 3 paperies an we'll be off before the coffin dodgerers are on to us, Im gettin an uneasy feeling they arnt taking to kindly to us turnin up outta the blue. I rang the bell & shouted the bar and not a thanks from any of them, mind you none of them decided that they had been drinkin tripple "bits of twigs & birds beaks" or whotever they drink here, when I paid for everyones round, Gigi pass us the shades & stash the bong we're off
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Post by JohnV on May 9, 2016 1:38:27 GMT
One of the old codgers out about his elderly chaps perambulations (otherwise known as pointing percy at the porcelain), noted the disappearance of the Punt. He merely grinned evilly to himself and set the remote control to defence plan "area 51" "Lets see how they cope with flying when they're flying" he chortled as he headed back to his bunk.
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2016 2:57:03 GMT
(the Thunderpunt has been un- moored & pushed out into the cut)Hey this old girl doesn't sound half bad, however there would appear to be far too much electrikery stuff for a historical two pot - we had best disable it all - don't want the old buggers remotely settin the rozzers on to us or sumthin. Ah Gigi, an ice cold Peroni - I don't mind if I do, its a bit of a worry about the muso 'bogarting' the joint, but he did make an impressive exit just now & there's still plenty left in the stash. Jeez she's been a bloody warm day -best get a move on its unlikely to last before the weather breaks.
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Post by JohnV on May 9, 2016 6:23:53 GMT
Deep within the secret nuclear bunker hidden in the bowels of the punt's engine room, a zero point module flickers into life.
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