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Post by Trina on May 24, 2016 16:10:09 GMT
Mrs BB stood with her hands on her hips,"Right,let's see all your hands -I need to see exactly who has blue hands & exactly just how blue they are !"...
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Post by phil70 on May 24, 2016 20:54:46 GMT
Nervously Phil slowly stepped forward and held out his hands, he figured that nothing could possibly go wrong, after all why should he be worried. Mrs BB was only a girl (snigger) what could she do, just because a chap has a bit, oh alright a lot of blue paint on his person, surely that's not a crime is it? Silence fell on the assembled motley crew and Phil began to feel rather uncomfortable, his scrawny legs began to tremble, his knobbly knees nocked with the sound of a woodpecker on speed and still Mrs BB stood silent, glaring in a most threatening manner, the tension was tangible
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Post by peterboat on May 24, 2016 21:05:21 GMT
Peter having bubbled Flappy to the Coate faere went back to see what was going on. The coate faere was last seen looking through his book of rules actually smiling and whistling. Peter saw all the lads in front of Trina hands out and in Flappys case willie out as well!! Oh well thought Peter as he unzipped his flies I am sure she is just checking to see who is really a smurf, that coate faere sure does work fast!..............
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Post by Trina on May 24, 2016 21:20:12 GMT
Mrs BB was HORRIFIED! There seemed to blue paint on hands,bums and willies !Just who had been touching who...what...and why...?(Where was Patty Ann when she needed her ? )The blue paint epidemic was spreading fast.Where was the Rusty Rats Tail when she needed a little pick me up ?Mysteriously a bucket of her fave cider appeared in front of her...only problem being that the bucket was full of blue fingerprints & blue paint stains from other body parts.
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Post by PaulG2 on May 24, 2016 22:15:11 GMT
Paul peered through the window, a little aghast at what he saw. There was Mrs. BB, surrounded by a circle of men, all with erect blue willies. "Strange customs these Brits have." he thought to himself. "But this does put that Stonehenge place into perspective."
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Post by PaulG2 on May 24, 2016 23:24:53 GMT
Paul returned to the unstable bar in a bit of a panic. Mrs. BB had been heard outside the bar making a joke about a "master baker". What kind of nefarious plan did this woman have in mind? He'd heard rumors of her strange appetite, and wondered if roasted blue willie was on her snack menu.
The lads had to be warned but, alas, someone had produced a measuring stick and they were all enthralled in taking willie measurements.
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Post by JohnV on May 25, 2016 6:39:10 GMT
Meanwhile, in the office, the Coate Faerie was mustering his assistants. "Right now lads, this is the best opportunity we've had for years, with luck we can bag the lot of them, except for John and Paul unless they arrive in the next couple of minutes" He grabbed a stack of miscellaneous coats and began passing them out.
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Post by phil70 on May 25, 2016 7:08:46 GMT
With the speed and grace of a gazelle the Coate Faerie swiftly moved into position, his assistants hurled a selection of random coats at the lads AND Mrs BB too. The Coate Faerie moved rapidly grasping each of the offenders in the time honoured manner and launches them through the door, as the last one (Mrs BB) arced through the air he cited paragraph 23, sub section C of the rule book, " willy waving and those connected with said offence must give prior notice" The sound of bodies hitting the car park and the howls of pain could be heard for miles
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Post by JohnV on May 25, 2016 7:44:36 GMT
The Coate Faerie gazed round the office of the Thunderbar and nodded in approval, plenty of space for coates and a magnificent walnut bookcase for the rulebooks. "Yes" he thought "definitely time to move over, I can leave a junior at the unSTABLE BAR." he drummed his fingers with irritation. "With all those new rules it's too damned easy, it's like shooting fish in a barrel. It doesn't require any of the skills that I've developed over the years, there is always a rule they are breaking nowadays" He called his assistants over and began issuing orders to bring his personal nick nacks and prize certificates and begin putting them up on the walls
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Post by peterboat on May 25, 2016 8:40:29 GMT
Peter and Taff had executed lovely somersaults through the door Taff landed badly and was pissed off! Peter got him out off his coate and Taff was back in the bar like a shot!! "Oh dear this is going to end badly Peter said to the heap of blue things"! Second later one of the minions flew through the door with Taff attached to his arse it was clearly painful as he hadnt opened the doort first! Taff released him but kept a chunk of his backside as a memento of the fracase. Inside the bar their was frantic hammering, as they tried to block themselves in. Taff was having none of it he snuck in via the open beer celler door, seconds later loud screams could be heard from inside. Trina casually mentioned to all, "are we going to finish the willie measuring? it was just getting interesting"..................
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Post by JohnV on May 25, 2016 21:49:52 GMT
All of a sudden there was an outburst of barking that rapidly turned to yelping and Taff erupted out of the cellar door, narrowly escaping the clutches of an enormous green claw. Seeing this, John blenched. The Coate faeries assistants had been forced to utilise interdimensional help to protect them from Taff. "This could escalate" thought John "and the consequences could be dire" he grimaced "That damned dog, Peter is going to have to get it under control"
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Post by phil70 on May 25, 2016 21:56:23 GMT
Phil drifted back to the Wunderbar Thunder Bar, a tear trickled down his cheek, John noticed his pal was a bit out of sorts. "What's up Phil, you seem troubled" Phil stood for a while then blurted out that he had just locked the unstable Bar and posted the keys through the letter box. Once Phil recovered his composure and continued. a great pity but it was getting far too stifled over the road
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Post by peterboat on May 25, 2016 22:40:36 GMT
"Never mind Phil the beers cheap here in fact make mine a lemonchello chilled but not stirred" Peter looked at Taff who was trying to bury the green claw "just cant keep a good dog down"...............
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Post by PaulG2 on May 25, 2016 23:25:39 GMT
Just as Peter, Taff and Phil were about to enter the Thunderbar to partake of some chilled lemonchello, which they wouldn't be drinking except they'd heard it was also good for removing blue paint from sensitive places, when they heard the toot of a horn and there was Paul with a lorry full of Gruntfuttocks Finest. Paul explained, "While the Coate faere was busy clearing the unStable bar, I copped a load of Gruntfuttocks Finest and loaded it on this truck."
Everyone looked at Paul in wonder, what a strange tongue he spoke. "He seems friendly enough", they agreed, "if only we could understand what he was saying."
Paul suddenly realized he'd been speaking American. He reached deep into his addled memories, and brought up his best Nigel Bruce impersonation. "Whilst the landlord was evicting your lot from the pub, I popped down to the cellar, nicked all their Gruntfuttocks Finest and pu' it in the lorry."
"Well, why didn't you say that in the first place.", chided John. "Come along then, Lads, let's get these barrels down to the cellar. There's drinking to do!"
"Don't forget the cargo bay of Tunderpunt is load full of Michelob." Paul said with a smile on his face. The crowd suddenly looked away, and started mumbling among themselves. Finally Peter and Phil came over, "We really don't know how to tell you this, Paul, but, American beer, it's really not fit for drinking. Mrs. BB, Patty Ann and some of the other gurlz like it for washing their hair. They claim your beer makes their hair shiny. That's why we had you bring it back, to keep the gurlz amused."
"Bloody 'ell!" was all Paul could think to say...
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Post by phil70 on May 27, 2016 0:19:48 GMT
All this talk about ALE cheered Phil up no end and his grief over leaving the unStable Bar behind was soon forgotten, here in the Thunder Bar was all he needed, good ale and good company, what more could you ask for, why they even had Hamster Scratchings and squirrel balls. Phil looked around and thought out loud "Yes it's just like coming home."
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