|
Post by bargemast on Oct 18, 2016 22:05:58 GMT
Hi forumidiot, I wish you good luck with your ability to reduce your possesions. Myself I have a mental illness, I'm a hoarder, which wasn't so much of a problem when I had 2 38m barges of which I used one to store loads of stuff. More then 25 years ago, I was selling the barge with all the stuff, but I had to empty her for the sale, so I rented a lock up garage, where I manage to store quite a lot of the stuff, the rest went everywhere I could find space on my other barge. But at the very last moment the sale didn't happen, as the bank that had promissed a loan to the buyer pulled out, and that way I could empty the surplus that I'd put everywhere on my other barge back on the one that I was supposed to have sold. 10 years ago, I really sold her in the end (almost gave her away to someone that I thought was a good friend at the time) and had to find space, but as I'd sold the other barge a couple of years before, to replace her with a much smaller (14m75 trawler-yacht), I couldn't use that to store the useless stuff of which I couldn't separate myself (Madness !), and I had to rent a second lock up. So now I'm paying a lot of money to store loads of stuff that I haven't touched for ages, and because of this complete Madness (which go's much further than just the rent of the 2 lock ups), my monthly expenses are more than my retirement, and the tiny little bit of savings I had are melting like snow in the hot sunshine. Of course I know that I urgently have to do something about it, but for the time being I just don't seem to manage, I have been changing to date on my lists of what I want to do the next year for several years already. Some people have offered to help me, but this is really something I have to do for myself, I would love to be able to have all my possesions in a backpack and be free, but without being overly pessimistic, I can't see that ever happening. You are already in a bit better position than I am, as you've got all the stuff in your big house, you don't have to rent lock ups (yet) to store your (maybe) useless possesions. Anyway, I wish you success.
Peter.
|
|
|
Post by patty on Oct 19, 2016 6:22:49 GMT
Hi forumidiot, I wish you good luck with your ability to reduce your possesions. Myself I have a mental illness, I'm a hoarder, which wasn't so much of a problem when I had 2 38m barges of which I used one to store loads of stuff. More then 25 years ago, I was selling the barge with all the stuff, but I had to empty her for the sale, so I rented a lock up garage, where I manage to store quite a lot of the stuff, the rest went everywhere I could find space on my other barge. But at the very last moment the sale didn't happen, as the bank that had promissed a loan to the buyer pulled out, and that way I could empty the surplus that I'd put everywhere on my other barge back on the one that I was supposed to have sold. 10 years ago, I really sold her in the end (almost gave her away to someone that I thought was a good friend at the time) and had to find space, but as I'd sold the other barge a couple of years before, to replace her with a much smaller (14m75 trawler-yacht), I couldn't use that to store the useless stuff of which I couldn't separate myself (Madness !), and I had to rent a second lock up. So now I'm paying a lot of money to store loads of stuff that I haven't touched for ages, and because of this complete Madness (which go's much further than just the rent of the 2 lock ups), my monthly expenses are more than my retirement, and the tiny little bit of savings I had are melting like snow in the hot sunshine. Of course I know that I urgently have to do something about it, but for the time being I just don't seem to manage, I have been changing to date on my lists of what I want to do the next year for several years already. Some people have offered to help me, but this is really something I have to do for myself, I would love to be able to have all my possesions in a backpack and be free, but without being overly pessimistic, I can't see that ever happening. You are already in a bit better position than I am, as you've got all the stuff in your big house, you don't have to rent lock ups (yet) to store your (maybe) useless possesions. Anyway, I wish you success. Peter. I could be wrong....but...I think trying to reduce your stuff solo may be impossible. I don't think it is something YOU personally have to do for yourself..it could be that fear of what others would think of your stuff or what they would discard prevents you from accepting help. An elderly friend of mine is a hoarder, we have slowly reduced his very large accumulation of what to me is perhaps junk but to him much loved possessions. I did not go in all guns blazing and now we have reduced down to more manageable amounts he is continually sorting through what remains and oh so slowly it goes. At least now his collection no longer presents hazards in his life. My father hoarded machinery and all things MF, tractors, engines, parts, nuts, bolts, containers after containers full of nails and screws, broken stuff..couldn't move there was no floor space.a whole Dutch Barn stuffed..shelving erected to contain more and more. His hoarding days stopped due to ill health and he, himself made the decision to get rid and move..it took us months to clear, sort and eventually sell what could be sold. The point is he did not do it alone but with support. My sister was fairly ruthless but then she lived away and did not have the emotional attachment that I had. I had seen dad with all his treasures almost daily and knew what they meant...they were his life. He subsequently moved about 5 miles away and the empty barn no longer there to remind. It was tough for him. Making decision is just the first step..that has to be yours..but doing it all yourself? That may be task to tough to handle.
|
|
|
Post by bargemast on Oct 19, 2016 7:30:51 GMT
Hi patty, thanks for your posting, your father could have been the twin-brother that I never had, we could have shared our passion for old (and in other peoples eyes) useless stuff. You are absolutely right that it's difficult to sort this out without help, but even with help it's a hard task, a few years ago, a girlfriend came to give me a hand with clearing a bit of the mess, which was ever so nice of her. I was prepared to get rid of a lot of stuff, and we'd decided on going through it and making a pile of stuff that she thought I didn't need, but before it was going to be removed for good, I had to check if I could agree with her choices. At one stage I had to go away for a doctors appointement, and when I came back, the whole pile had disappeared without having had the chance to see if it was all to be disposed of. Of course only about a day later, a good friend needed something that I had stored and that I good have helped him out with, but this had gone in the pile that I hadn't checked. So, then and there I decided that I really had to do it myself, maybe with someone helping me moving the too heavy items, but not deciding without me agreeing to throw stuff away. I'm (very) slowly getting stronger with the idea of sorting this in the very near future, as it would be a disaster for my family if they'd have to empty the lot if something serious would happen to me, like after forgetting to make my heart beat.
Peter.
|
|
|
Post by lollygagger on Oct 19, 2016 9:19:41 GMT
Hi patty, thanks for your posting, your father could have been the twin-brother that I never had, we could have shared our passion for old (and in other peoples eyes) useless stuff. You are absolutely right that it's difficult to sort this out without help, but even with help it's a hard task, a few years ago, a girlfriend came to give me a hand with clearing a bit of the mess, which was ever so nice of her. I was prepared to get rid of a lot of stuff, and we'd decided on going through it and making a pile of stuff that she thought I didn't need, but before it was going to be removed for good, I had to check if I could agree with her choices. At one stage I had to go away for a doctors appointement, and when I came back, the whole pile had disappeared without having had the chance to see if it was all to be disposed of. Of course only about a day later, a good friend needed something that I had stored and that I good have helped him out with, but this had gone in the pile that I hadn't checked. So, then and there I decided that I really had to do it myself, maybe with someone helping me moving the too heavy items, but not deciding without me agreeing to throw stuff away. I'm (very) slowly getting stronger with the idea of sorting this in the very near future, as it would be a disaster for my family if they'd have to empty the lot if something serious would happen to me, like after forgetting to make my heart beat. Peter. You and Patty could be related to my ex. Massive house unuseable due to being crammed with "stuff" just to good to chuck. Funny when we parted it was suddenly "can you take this to the tip". These were things I'd wanted to clear out for a decade, things that drowned me and suffocated our marriage. I wonder if we'd just had the big clear out 10 years previous... Possessions took on an ugly unwanted shade after that and with nobody pulling on the reins now, life is a peach. To the OP: As said by others, don't put anything in storage, it will get ruined by damp, cost an arm and a leg and you will not want any of it. Chuck it and the money you save on storage will fund replacing anything you find you wished you'd kept. Good luck.
|
|
|
Post by bargemast on Oct 19, 2016 9:48:38 GMT
lollygagger wrote :
You and Patty could be related to my ex. Massive house unuseable due to being crammed with "stuff" just to good to chuck. Funny when we parted it was suddenly "can you take this to the tip". These were things I'd wanted to clear out for a decade, things that drowned me and suffocated our marriage. I wonder if we'd just had the big clear out 10 years previous...
Possessions took on an ugly unwanted shade after that and with nobody pulling on the reins now, life is a peach.
To the OP: As said by others, don't put anything in storage, it will get ruined by damp, cost an arm and a leg and you will not want any of it. Chuck it and the money you save on storage will fund replacing anything you find you wished you'd kept. Good luck.
How right you are with what you said in the above lines, in my case I'm sure that I've paid probably 3 or even 4 times the value of the stored stuff, over all thes years.
Too late for regrets now, but looking back doesn't help, it's only an expensive lesson for the future, to not make the same mistakes again, and sell or even throw away instead of paying for storage.
I'm going to make a list to advertise the valuables, and after I've managed to sell, I will try to clear the rest.
Peter.
|
|
|
Post by tex on Oct 19, 2016 10:14:26 GMT
I'm planning to sell up the house in the next year or so and looking at the amount of stuff is daunting. I've thought about making a start on it now but never get around to it. My latest idea is to hire an "Estate Sale" company to handle it. They come in and value/inventory everything, flog it all over a weekend and present you with the money minus commission.
|
|
|
Post by lollygagger on Oct 19, 2016 10:16:12 GMT
Peter, just as you say, the past is the past, call it day one and think of the money you'll save in the future. I happened on a strange TV prog the other day. It consisted of storage container contents being auctioned. The bidders got 10 mins to look in through the door only then took a punt. Most went for about £800. I was reality TV, but this must happen all the time. I imagine in most if not all cases this was abandoned stuff and the storage firm was selling against owed rent, but it looked such a great way of off loading without having to face it.
I understand demons. Mine is paperwork, I have in the past gone years without opening a single letter that wasn't from a court threatening to cut off the gas or some such. I could afford to pay, but couldn't face dealing with "stuff". It makes no sense, I used to be on top of it, ran a small Mech/cicil design company very efficiently, then one day my brain said "no more" and that was that.
|
|
|
Post by lollygagger on Oct 19, 2016 10:21:41 GMT
I'm planning to sell up the house in the next year or so and looking at the amount of stuff is daunting. I've thought about making a start on it now but never get around to it. My latest idea is to hire an "Estate Sale" company to handle it. They come in and value/inventory everything, flog it all over a weekend and present you with the money minus commission. What a great idea. "Stuff" is such a nuiscence. Life without stuff is more valuable than the stuff, in the same way the space taken up by hoarded stuff is more valuable than the stuff invading it. I have a thing about possessions...
|
|
|
Post by JohnV on Oct 19, 2016 10:49:44 GMT
I'm planning to sell up the house in the next year or so and looking at the amount of stuff is daunting. I've thought about making a start on it now but never get around to it. My latest idea is to hire an "Estate Sale" company to handle it. They come in and value/inventory everything, flog it all over a weekend and present you with the money minus commission. What a great idea. "Stuff" is such a nuiscence. Life without stuff is more valuable than the stuff, in the same way the space taken up by hoarded stuff is more valuable than the stuff invading it. I have a thing about possessions...and cream buns as well by the look of it
|
|
|
Post by bargemast on Oct 19, 2016 10:57:59 GMT
Peter, just as you say, the past is the past, call it day one and think of the money you'll save in the future. I happened on a strange TV prog the other day. It consisted of storage container contents being auctioned. The bidders got 10 mins to look in through the door only then took a punt. Most went for about £800. I was reality TV, but this must happen all the time. I imagine in most if not all cases this was abandoned stuff and the storage firm was selling against owed rent, but it looked such a great way of off loading without having to face it. I understand demons. Mine is paperwork, I have in the past gone years without opening a single letter that wasn't from a court threatening to cut off the gas or some such. I could afford to pay, but couldn't face dealing with "stuff". It makes no sense, I used to be on top of it, ran a small Mech/cicil design company very efficiently, then one day my brain said "no more" and that was that. Apart from the stuff in the lockups, I'm fighting with a HUGE pile of papers too, there's only a tiny little space left on the table for my laptop.
A little while ago I bought a sticker that an American guy had made, he moved from a enormous house to a van, and managed to get rid of an incredible amount of stuff that he could live without, this sticker says : "Less Stuff MORE FREEDOM", that's something I'm aming for now.
The programm with the US-container auctions is here aswell, there's even a french version which is a cheap substitute to the US one, some of the buyers make a fortune with treasures they find in these containers.
Peter.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2016 12:32:35 GMT
Thanks for everyone's response, I'll use them to come up with a plan - it is a daunting task.
Bargemast - so much of what you say resonates with me, I can't offer advice but just give yourself a pat on the back for going to the effort of helping out someone (something most of us forget to do). If I've said too much just remember I'm an idiot.
Wibble.
|
|
|
Post by Saltysplash on Oct 19, 2016 15:35:58 GMT
When i first moved aboard I was happily single so managed to keep my 'stuff' down to essential tools and equipment. Clothing was decided by....if i hadnt used it in a month then i didnt need it. Then the Memsahib came along and while i tried to get her in the same frame of mind it was a losing battle...(shes actually a little better now) and then 2 sprogs arrived and all hell broke loose. Toys everywhere and clothes....loads and loads of clothes.
We then had to rent a storage container at the boatyard which we share the cost with a neighbour. I went in there the first time for while and suddenly realised that we hadnt used anything in that container for over 2 years! so we will be getting rid of its contents and turning it in to a form of workshop once we get it properly lined.
So thats my basic rule. If its not been used or worn regularly then it goes. (except kids toys......That is still a battle which I constantly lose)
|
|
|
Post by patty on Oct 19, 2016 17:10:33 GMT
I constantly sort through..I will admit possessions, I have let go of lots..don't need them. However paperwork I do have stored..having been the victim of unpleasant behaviour..borderline blackmail, intimidation and threats I have learnt how valuable the written word can be. My diaries, online stuff and filed letters/paperwork saved me. Documents prove facts...you don't always win, even if innocent as justice can be crap, but you can limit damage done. Ive now used what Ive written in several quite nasty situations. I will not ever let them go...there is still potential for some creeps to have another go. There are some nasty folk in this world. So what I say is the pretty stuff/ ornaments etc..ditch..just keep few.. Tools etc..keep few(err I do need a cull here as don't think I need 19 screwdrivers , 23 spanners, assorted hammers, saws etc) ..sell the rest Kitchen gadgets..dont need(don't cook very often so that one was easy, never owned many) Clothes,,long as comfy you don't need loads.. Books etc..read and donate. As for other stuff..decide what is necessary. TV and computer plus radio is about my lot..yeah plus hoover and cleaning stuff..chance is I may use from time to time. Estate agent and sale the way forward...good luck.
|
|
|
Post by quaysider on Oct 19, 2016 17:19:57 GMT
We've not done it yet but HAVE began (begun?)... I'm still sticking my head in the sand but KNOW the end result will be 1 box each of "stuff we can't justify but want" and everything else not easily saleable, to the tip. What we HAVE been doing, is building a bottom drawer if you like, of "boat stuff" that has not been used yet but will be taken aboard... everything else other than 2 weeks worth of clean clothes each will be binned.
I've still got stuff in friends attics from my divorce lol.
|
|
|
Post by phil70 on Oct 20, 2016 8:32:27 GMT
"Stuff" is an emotive subject and on our boat the cause of occasional strife. I'm firmly in the "if I haven't used it in a year I don't need it" (except tools) camp, whereas Chris is a hoarder, she still has childhood books and stuff, convinced it is worth something. She sticks to this even though I show her prices on eBay Phil
|
|