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Post by JohnV on Jul 1, 2020 13:30:22 GMT
John, with a broad grin on his face staggered up the cellar stairs clutching the keg of Crutley's Special Strength Gullet Scourer. As he neared the top, he lurched to one side, recovering his ballance he made the last step and kicked the door shut behind him. He was completely unaware that the top of the keg had clouted the spider just as it was preparing to pounce.
"Bugger" it thought "I'm going to have to get some mates in to help deal with this one
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Post by phil70 on Jul 1, 2020 20:09:29 GMT
Flappy became aware of a rather disquieting noise that sounded like a cross between a revving chainsaw and a rather sick donkey. Looking around the bar his skin suddenly crawled, Flappy felt a little moist and rather queasy as he spotted the source of the noise. Seated in the occasional chair was the Coate Faerie and seated on the Coate Faerie was......... the Gravy Stained Cat....... purring!! Flappy felt weak at the knees at the sight and sound of his nemesis and said a quiet prayer that the Gravy Stained Cat would just stay where it was
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Post by peterboat on Jul 2, 2020 13:05:00 GMT
Peter was wandering the island looking for everything and everybody, he had only been gone a minute [actually a couple of months] and all was at a standstill. he turned the tracker on and sure enough they were back at the old location, Peter paled as he had been to the not to distant future and it wasnt pretty, the virus by 2022 had wiped out 10% of the world population and the world was at war with China! Not a financial one but a real one the India and Hong kong thing had bee a step to far it seemed, still it had afforded Peter rich pickings. He decided he would put a film show on for the gang and let them decide what they wanted to do, in the meantime the bar from 60's Capri with all the stock and ladies to run it looked very nice in the camp..............
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Post by peterboat on Jul 8, 2020 9:42:34 GMT
Well a week had gone by and Peter had been enjoying himself that much he had forgotten to visit the Gang, a cruise liner had anchored off the island and the crew were regular visitors to his bar! he was raking it in buying his booze in the 60s and flogging off at full price. The Capt was saying the island had potential in the future as a stop off, Peter smiled as he knew that in the future not many planes or boats were going to be traveling anywhere, but agreed that the island was for sale at the right price...................................
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Post by phil70 on Jul 14, 2020 22:20:59 GMT
Meanwhile back at the unStable Bar all was not going too well because of John catching the errant spider a clout with the keg of Crutleys. The spider sent out a thought wave message to his mates. The first anybody knew of it was when a clamour could be heard outside, the Gravy Stained Cat shifted off the Coate Faerie and looked at the door with a puzzled expression on it's face . Flappy shifted himself to put John between the Cat and himself in the knowledge that in the event of a Cat attack it could provide him with a few vital seconds to get out of the way . The Gravy Stained Cat pushed the door open and as it did so an enormous hairy leg reached in and grabbed the Cat. The cat was whooshed out of the door and before long an almighty battle could be heard unfolding . Flappy pretended nothing was wrong and fetched out his man purse and proceeded to get a round in
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Post by patty on Jul 15, 2020 18:16:18 GMT
Patty felt something could be wrong outside the bar so accepted Flappys offer of a very very large Merlot, She was reasonably sure that should a real crises evolve the 'men' would protect the frail females in their midst(however just in case she searched through her bag for the laser gun she'd 'borrowed' from somewhere)
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Post by Trina on Jul 15, 2020 18:57:09 GMT
Mrs BB had nothing useful to say,do or add to the situation apart from..."A bucket of Rusty Rats Tail if someone else is paying 😊".
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Post by metanoia on Jul 15, 2020 19:45:54 GMT
"Clang"!
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Post by phil70 on Jul 15, 2020 21:56:25 GMT
So that's 2 flagons of Gruntfuttocks 1 very very extra large Merlot 1 bucket of Rusty Rats Tail and a large can of WD40. Flappy placed his order while keeping a wary eye on the door. The bar thingy moved with the speed and grace of a gazelle (he was a pleasure to watch) Still the din came through the door and Flappy was fighting off the urge to have a peep outside and sadly after several drafts from his flagon Flappy decided to have a peep and see how the Gravy Stained Cat was doing Flappy pushed the door open a tad and as he did so another humungous hairy leg shot in and secured a death grip on Flappy and in a flash "Whoosh" Flappy was outside . John observed all this with interest and noted that the loud squawks and screeches sounded as though Flappy was OK ish for the moment at least. Outside Flappy found himself doing battle alongside his nemesis and the enemy they were joinly trying to beat or evade was a enormous arachnid or to put it in Flappy lingo "a chuffing great spider"
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Post by patty on Jul 16, 2020 4:57:31 GMT
Patty realised that unless she sorted out Incy Wincy there may be No more free Mellow Merlot moments. Settling her cowboy hat firmly on her head and armed with laser gun she threw open the door and commenced firing..........
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Post by peterboat on Jul 16, 2020 13:19:09 GMT
Peter appeared amongst all the chaos, Flappy sqauking as a chuffing huge spider tried to wrap him in silk and Patty taking pot shots at the spider with "my bloody laser gun" he exclaimed! Patty chopped off the spiders last leg and then delivered the coup de grace on the spider by cooking its brain! Peter noticed that the spider still seemed to be moving and was just saying to patty about it when hundreds of little spiders burst out of the huge spider within seconds Flappy was covered and things didnt look good..............................................
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Post by JohnV on Jul 16, 2020 16:17:30 GMT
The door of the bar opened and John appeared rolling what looked like a large metal ball in front of him.
On closer inspection the metal ball could be seen to be an aluminium (sorry forgot it was American) aloominum keg of Michelob (left over from the days of the Refugee)
With age it now had so much pressure inside that it had swollen into a ball shape.
Gauging carefully the correct spoy, john swung his favourite chipping hammer with gusto.
For a split second the world stood still and then with a mighty whoosh !!! bthe keg hurtled skyward, the exhaust washing over the combatents, blasting the thousands of tiny arachnids down a convenient drain. There was a loud "Bang" and the laser pistol that Patty had ..... errm .... purloined exploded, frightening the Gravy Stained Cat so much that it jumped into Flappy's arms. This terrified him into total imobility. Patty was muttering under her breath, her cowboy hat had gone soggy and irrespective of the fact that he had saved her from being eaten by thousands of tiny spiders, she glared at John. ....... who wisely withdrew to the bar.
a few hours later NORAD radars plotted a mystery object re-enterring the atmosphere and they issued a RED ALERT as it plunged down into Central Milwaukee, no wreckage was recovered that could be identified as alien
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Post by peterboat on Jul 17, 2020 14:37:12 GMT
"You have sold the island! exclaimed Patty "we did all that work and you have pocked the money?" Peter knew where this was heading especially as Patty was still dripping from the drenching John had given her! !I needed the money" Peter explained "I have brought the successful vaccine from the future and given it to lots of organisations around the world and it cost plenty, I have seen the future without this and it aint good" Patty fixed him with a keen gaze but relented when peter undid a case and started getting the auto inject pens ready. Peter explained "do it yourself its easy and doesnt hurt at all" it still took all the gang to hold Flappy down and get the jab in.............................
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Post by phil70 on Jul 19, 2020 16:23:31 GMT
YOWEEE!!Ooh that smarts, it really really hurts,you lot enjoy inflicting pain on this poor harmless lad Flappy squealed at the top of his voice. Patty calmed him down by offering to easehis pain with some Granny Glads cure all Flappy paused and thought about it for a moment before declaring it was alright and to cancel the ambulance as he seemed to be OK
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Post by phil70 on Jul 22, 2020 20:37:46 GMT
Flappy settled down having survived the auto inject pen and put his mind to a rather more important problem, that of what to do with the Gravy Stained Cat. The Cat had discovered it quite liked being cuddled by Flappy and everytime Flappy tried to dislodge the cat it gentle but firmly engaged it's claws and the harder Flappy tried the tighter the Cat gripped. Oow the smarts and look look it's drawn blood Flappy was beside himself . Suddenly Flappy had an idea (for the 2nd time this year) he decided to carry the Cat over to Patty and Mrs BB in the hope that the gurls would want to take over Cat sitting duties . Flappy decided to talk up the importance of Cat sitting and approached Patty who looked a little disheveled with her hat still dripping. Flappy pipped up " What oh Patty do you have any Cat treats in your bag. Patty said " oh yes I've got some Dreamies watch' with that she shook the bag and with a huge leap the Gravy Stained Cat left Flappy and landed on Patty's shoulder where it sat rubbing it's head all over Patty and (shock horror) purring
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