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Post by JohnV on Dec 9, 2020 16:54:29 GMT
There was a series of loud bangs and blinding flashes. When the smoke cleared, the elves were treated to the sight of a naked Big Red manacled to an equally naked Christmas Fairy. Next to them was a large sack which had been strapped to the wand which was emitting loud fizzing sounds the sack was emitting loud shrieks in time with the buzzes, that sounded very much like Peter.
Strangely Brown had struck, there was no way was he going to miss out on the promised bottle of superior quality 100 proof Christmas Cheer (and anyway he thoroughly approved of the destruction of the naughty and nice list) and was looking forward to the great Christmas surprise they had planned for all the children and pets in the area. There was no way he was going to let Peter ruin that.
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Post by phil70 on Dec 9, 2020 20:39:42 GMT
Flappy was more than a bit tizwazed he was unsure of where he was and how he got here and infact was here really here, amd who the hell was Strangely Brown and where did he come from, mind you Flappy was aware of the fact that he and John were (for the moment) at least safe and well
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Post by peterboat on Dec 9, 2020 20:48:44 GMT
The sack went quiet John had forgotten that Peters ZPM was an implant in his wrist, John was looking around but couldnt see anything moving, he then saw Patty and she looked upset, worse she was holding the handbag strangely, like it was pointing at him seconds later a spiders web shot out and glued John to the spot! the more he struggled the worse it was, all of a sudden smoke started to come out of his ears and his eyes exploded and then his head burst into flames! John wasnt John he was a robot swapped by Strangely Brown to achieve his wicked ambition of destroying children's Christmas. Flappy was panicking but Patty lowered the bag and whispered to the white wolf !bring him to me," Flappy was herded in by Freya and faced Patty with trepidation, she asked Freya "is he real"? Freya sniffed and nodded, Peter came out of the shadows and Patty asked "how long have you known", Peter replied "since John was buying rounds for us I knew then he wasnt real" Patty smiled and then blushed when she saw the naked Santa and Christmas fairy manacled together, "Well Peter we have a Christmas quest we have to find John and dispose of Strangely Brown where he can do no harm" Peter had picked up the wand and gave it to the fairy who with a swish returned them a normal clothed state, Bid Red remarked "has the real John still got the strange coat with all the buckles on them?" Flappy nodded "good said Big Red I gave him that so Christmas magic should be able to find it"..................
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Post by JohnV on Dec 9, 2020 21:18:43 GMT
John wearing his strange coat with its many straps and buckles suddenly appeared alongside a heavily armed Strangely Brown. The pair of them opened fire with a pair of strange rayguns which caused Peter to dissolve into a colony of creatures that looked like French Onions. As they screamed and turned brown and crispy John quickly explained, Peters frequent distortions of the space time continuam had aroused the interest of an alien race who were dedicated to stamping out any and all forms of celebrating times of year. The thought of John and Flappys plan to brighten up Christmas had enraged them so much that they had kidnapped Peter and were holding him in a stasis pod ..... somewhere. The fake Peter had completely fooled Patty into thinking that he was the saviour of Christmas and her old friends John and Flappy were evil destroyers of childrens happiness'
They presented Patty with one of Strangely Browns fancy ray guns .... and possibly slightly unwisely another for Mrs BB. Then the five of them disappeared.
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Post by peterboat on Dec 10, 2020 9:38:09 GMT
Patty decided that action was needed, she whispered to Mrs BB and then bellowed at John and Strangely drop the guns or I will vaporize you! Strangely made the mistake of turning to fast, so patty webbed him and John! In a fraction of a second they were glued together and unable to move Mrs BB kept Flappy covered and Patty instructed Freya and Taff to check out the Strangely and John a few sniffs and once again it was confirmed they were robots! Flappy delivered the coup de grace to them both! in seconds they were just burnt out circuit boards. The 5 of them returned to Big Reds workshop to plan what to do and where to find the 3 missing boys [snigger]
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Post by peterboat on Dec 10, 2020 10:37:28 GMT
Meanwhile the real Peter and John were laid on the beach in Capri, John had a dark rum which he was really enjoying "where did it come from Peter" "Capt Morgan" relied Peter "the real Capt Morgan" he chuckled. Peter sipped his lemonchello. signaled to the beautiful barmaid for 2 more drinks and remarked "I wonder how our robots are doing? It was a stroke of genius you developing that AI for them so that they can learn" John asked "do you think we should invite the gang or shall we teleport them here for Christmas as a surprise?" Peter replied "lets surprise them Boxing day along with Big Red and his gang" Mmmmmm they both sighed whilst think about the Christmas Fairy.....................................
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Post by patty on Dec 10, 2020 20:13:54 GMT
Patty was reasonably certain that all these shenanigans had more than a whiff of Peter about them which probably meant him and John were holed up somewhere hot drinking that revolting lemonchello... No matter she had a good memory and would not forget..she was reminded of dear ole Granny Glad who would say... "I never forget..mark my words my girl'..but in this case it would be 'Mark my words my boy..I never forget'...... Recalling the ancient goddess of medicinal cure alls comforted and Patty decided she'd start brewing up a speciality pick me up to provide some Festive Cheer.........
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Post by peterboat on Dec 12, 2020 19:44:29 GMT
John was stroking a fairly bald Taff, he wondered aloud "I wonder if they have twigged that the Taff at home is a robot with the real Taffs hair attached?" Peter replied "its a shame that we cant replicate hair isnt it?" Taff didnt seem bothered about his lack of hair as the it was hot and he liked the sun on his nearly bare skin.
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Post by Trina on Dec 12, 2020 23:49:53 GMT
Mrs BB was convinced that the last batch of Rusty Rats Tail was rogue ! She hadn't got a clue what was going on,who was real & who was not ! She did however have a secret,Big Red had made contact with her.He was such a charming gent,he'd even given her a tastefully(holly & bells) decorated drinking bucket.The holly was useful as it woke her up when her head fell into the bucket after a good few drinkipoos.Big Red was such a charmer,he'd convinced Mrs BB he needed more help than she could supply.It was up to her to get some other bar regulars on board... Stop Press.Big Red needs a wolf,now where on earth could Mrs BB find a wolf in this day & age ?🤔mmm
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Post by peterboat on Dec 20, 2020 18:17:47 GMT
To say John and Peter were surprised when Mrs BB turned up in Big Reds sleigh was an understatement! Peter did a double take at her chin, it looked like the worse shaving rash he had ever seen. They listened to pleas to help Big Red it was the offer of a sleigh and uniform that did it for them along with a snog from the Christmas fairy. They promised that they would be there on the dot to help with Christmas deliveries and went back to some serious sunbathing and drinking.......................
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Post by phil70 on Dec 21, 2020 22:55:35 GMT
Flappy burst into the UnStable bar wearing a huge(and soppy) grin, he was covered from head to toe in some sort of white powder. "Hey you lot, guess what I've been doing, go on guess" There was a collective sigh from the regulars and mutterings could be heard "oh no he's full of it" and similar remarks. Flappy didn't wait for replies but plunged headlong into one of his exceedingly detailed explanation. " I've been cooking" Mince pies for Xmas and I've got hulled wine, a voice from the back said "don't you mean mulled wine" Flappy then explained the difference which made no sense at all to anybody not even with the boating connection and at a stroke Flappy had lost his audience. Flappy wandered off to polish his beloved Tandem Tricycle
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Post by patty on Dec 22, 2020 7:21:09 GMT
The White Wolf and Taff wandered off towards the kitchen to investigate 'hulled wine' and mince pies....... Patty sat waiting for BB to arrive, she had a huge pail of Rusty Rats Tail tied up with glittering tinsel...... She wondered why her BF had rushed off with the Red Geezer..... Come the New Year Patty had a plan, it was time to sort the World out, she would require the gang, a workable means of transport and total dedication from them....(the latter could prove tad difficult but she did have a supply of Granny Glads Obey Me Elixir)
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Post by JohnV on Dec 22, 2020 7:26:04 GMT
John popped his head round the door of the Tandem Tricycle shed " Do you think your mince pies would stand an acceleration of about 20g's without turning into crumbs?"
Flappy looked up from his polishing and scratched his head.
After scratching his head and making several complex mental mathematical callculations, succinctly gave his considered opinion .... "dunno" there was a long pause while he gave further careful consideration to this difficult technical matter the eagle eyed master of technical innovation scrutinised John with particularly intense scrute ...."Wofor?"
John sighed and began to explain "It's the minimum setting for the Holman projector, if I reduce it further I can't get the range, carrot sticks, Dreamies, bonios, hard centre chocolates and those individual Christmas puds from M&S can stand up to 20g's and I can get the range and altitude needed but all the mince pies I have tried disintegrate ....... so ... I ...errr just wondered if you might have a solution"
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Post by phil70 on Dec 22, 2020 8:01:31 GMT
Flappy puffed himself up and filled with his own self importance agreed to make the calculations needed, afterall it was easier than working out all the gubbins associated with a jump from warp speed to light speed and he had already done that (well almost) on several occasions. Satisfied that the mince pies would stay intact he fetched a tray of the blackened festive offerings and presented them to John. John picked up a pie? and gave it stringent scrutiny followed by scientific testing which entailed banging the bejeezus out of it with one of Flappy's bestest hammers.....which promptly shattered. Oo-er, they do seem a tad overdone said John, Flappy admitted that he just might of got the cooking time a little wrong (it should have been 30 mins at 160 but Flappy managed to give them 30 hours at 160) John nodded his head sagely and agreed that it was an easy mistake to make (and made a mental note to avoid the mince pies when offered) John decide the pies would indeed make suitable projectiles for the HOLMAN projecters and so it was.
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Post by peterboat on Dec 22, 2020 9:28:39 GMT
Mrs BB and Peter came in the bar in full Christmas helping out Big Red kit, the bar went silent, they started handing out the same clothing to the gang [even the dogs were given antlers] "Right get changed we are off on a test run today in our sleighs]" Peter bellowed, the coate faeri was the first into the bag along with the bar thingy, the rest of the gang wernt as keen except Patty had seen something in the bag and grabbed it smiling to herself and muttering "thanks Big Red" as she popped it into the handbag..................................
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