I feel it's time for this from the UKRW archives:
groups.google.com/g/uk.rec.waterways/c/xrG5rbg6g8s/m/qPNtlfAK-LkJToday I am mostly covered in sh*t
Now we get onto the my title for today. To save money one can buy a DIY
pumpout kit. AHA now we get down to it. Well what you do is find a sanitary
station, the use of which is free, connect a thick pipe to the boat and to a
big hand pump, another soft, flat pipe, rather like a firemans hose, is
connected to the other end of the pump which is then rolled out and is
shoved down the bowl in the sanitary station. These sanitary stations are
really a normal toilet bowl like you have at home and instead of a chain to
pull you flush it with a hose pipe provided after emptying the contents of
your cassette down there. They are either in a small room or have a small
brick wall round them. So, having bought the kit and put it altogether off
we go to a sanitary station for our first, free, DIY pumpout.
We moor up and I connect it all up, roll out the flat pipe and stick it down
the bowl, return to the boat and start to pump, after a very short time you
should feel the pump 'bit' as the waste starts to go through I am told. Now
it should be kept in mind that a chemical is involved here, rather like what
is used in Porta Poti's it breaks down 'solid' matter and toilet paper so
what you end up with is, yes you have probably guessed it, liquid sh*t
(that's pooh to you, Jessica). Now these sanitary stations are normally near
locks or a special mooring, in this case it is at Braunston. Because
Braunston is the canal capital of the world everyone visits it mostly to
walk along, ask silly questions like "is that a narrow boat" or to 'bog'
through your windows to see what your boat is like. Now in this game you
always get the "You don't want to do it like that, you want to do it like
this" type of Mr Helpful.
So this guy comes along, Mr Helpful, sees what I am doing as I am pumping
away like mad waiting for it to 'bit' he follows the blue pipe along to the
sanitary station and starts looking down the bowl where my pipe is going
with the 'aim' of telling me when the muck has reached the bowl. Now what I
didn't realise is the force at which this pump works, apparently it can push
water up about 10 metres through it's 50mm pipe so we are talking a fair
pressure here. The pump 'bits' I pump like mad and then there is a scream
and Mr Helpful comes running back to me with the end if the pipe in his
hand, liquid sh*t spurting 2 metres in the air all over him and anything
else its pointed at shouting STOP PUMPING you idiot.
Apparently what had happened is the force of the muck coming out the pipe
was so much that it propelled the pipe straight out the bowl, he tried to
push it back down but the pipe being very soft and flexible was totally
uncontrollable. The result is rather like trying to hold a very slippery
snake that's intent on biting you. Well you can imagine the state of poor Mr
Helpful, there he stands covered from head to foot in horrible, smell gooey,
brown pooh, there was only one thing to do so I promptly got hold of the
water hose and turned it on him to rinse him down and then suggest he A)
sees a doctor and B) minds his own business in future. As for me, well I
have now made a wire frame up rather like you have on the waste pipe of a
washing machine so I can hook the pipe over the bowl and hold it in place.