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Post by JohnV on May 9, 2019 19:48:26 GMT
The Coate Faerie had finally adapted to his low stress life in the thunderbar enforcement office. He sat down at his neatly arranged desk with its and hefted the freshly arrived package. He smiled, opened the package and pulled out a paperback book. The quiet days had allowed him to indulge in his hobby of collecting early science fiction, this completed his John Wyndham collection. He carefully slid his mint condition copy of "The Day of the Triffids" into its place on the bookcase. He failed to notice the glint of green by the window.
moving carefully the thin green tendril easedback out of sight
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2019 21:18:23 GMT
seed pods rattled quietly, unheard by those too blind to see...
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Post by phil70 on May 10, 2019 7:19:06 GMT
All round the bar rustling could be heard behind the wainscoat together with quiet rattling. The casual observer might notice green tendrils momentarily popping out of various gaps and knot holes. Said tendrils would give a quick shake and then withdraw. At each shake a tiny seed pod would burst, scattering dust like seeds into the air to be carried to every corner of the Bar. But..... the denizens of the Bar were too inebriated (as usual) to notice anything untoward apart from a musty smell. Patty was holding court along with the girls, all the while strenuously denying any involvement with John's near death experience with the sinister green tendril though it must be said he was probably in more danger from Flappy's cattle prod.
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Post by patty on May 10, 2019 12:21:31 GMT
All those not familiar with the definite nature of a certain Japanese invader failed to realise that this time it was not the knotweed variety..... Patty viewed the exploding seed pots and reflected that bringing back knotweeds close cousin from her time away exploring, would certainly shake up the boys.. The plant fired round after round and the air filled with screaming seeds, opening the pub doors patty whisltled and in came the arial force led by Bertie Buzzard.... Patty sat back to see just what happened next.....(they'd learn not to upset her)
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Post by phil70 on May 10, 2019 22:21:09 GMT
OW!! OUCH!! KINELL that don't half smart yelled Flappy as his scrawny legs were peppered with high velocity seeds. The fact that he was exposing bare flesh due to his flappy shorts seemed to attract more than a few of the exploding seeds. Peter and John were better of because they were sensibly clothed, John was quite well protected by his strange canvas jacket with all the straps and buckles. The boys noticed that the gurls (snigger) seemed unaffected and Patty was wearing a rather manic smile. The boys edged nearer the (snigger) gurls and found that for some reason the seeds were avoiding the immediate area of Patty
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Post by dyertribe on May 11, 2019 18:56:25 GMT
Hormones
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Post by peterboat on May 11, 2019 19:32:26 GMT
Peter hit his button and disappeared seconds later he reappeared with a flame thrower!! he immediately opened up with it on the plant which withered and blackened as soon as the ex army flame thrower turned on it, within seconds the bar was on fire, a fact that Peter hadnt factored in when he had the brainwave, brought on by fear when the tenderals were rapping themselves around his legs!! Within minutes they were all out of the bar, and watched as it burnt down to the ground, taking Pattys man eating plant with it! Peter was sort of pleased with himself, and had a plan the old bar was still unused and he had a spare key...................
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Post by Trina on May 11, 2019 19:48:05 GMT
Mrs B B sat up from where she'd been snoozing in the greenery.It isn't really ok to say this any more but she looked like a refugee from the Black & White Minstrel Show !Her face was blackened & her hair looked like a frazzled Afro."Bloody Norah,that was the best pint of Rusty Rats Tail I've ever had!" Mrs BB smiled to herself before opening a bag of Smokey BBQ crisps to continue the burnt offerings theme...
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Post by dyertribe on May 11, 2019 19:57:37 GMT
Hormones, that’s why the girls were safe, the tendrils were homing in on the testosterone and (most of) the blokes exuded enough to interest the plant.
But as for the flame thrower........ Puleese! Why didn’t Peter ask for the help of the Dragons? The Grim Reaper etc, etc would have gladly loaned their services if she’d only been asked.
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Post by phil70 on May 11, 2019 20:47:01 GMT
Flappy was disgusted at the notion of using the old Bar, had Peter forgotten the flying visits from that bloody elephant and some of the daft twats that used to wonder in off the street. Huh, and using that blooming flame thrower was a bit of a walnut/ sledge hammer move, Flappy's cattle prod was more than adequate. There was only one thing for it , a phone call to Nick Knowles was required and pronto. Flappy reckoned Patty should make the call as she was blessed with a great deal of persuasive and frankly frightening words which Mr Knowles would be unable to refuse.(he would be a fool to even try) So it looks like a make over for the unstable Bar is imminent (Loud shouting) Peter just put it away NOW!!!
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Post by patty on May 12, 2019 5:26:21 GMT
The Coate Faerie had managed to escape with his collection of coats and at that moment was being assisted by Patty in selecting just the right one to launch a certain miscreant across the car park.. meanwhile the occasional table obligingly metamorphosed into a chair for BB to collapse into with her Rusty Rats tails and snackeroos... Patty next task was indeeed to contact not just Nick Knowles but also one Anneka Rice and associated fix it barons to begin the construction of a new and better Unstable Bar which would incorporate room for her pet dragon plus Berties airborne corps and any other odd ball creatures she managed to acquire on their adventures...a Phoenix would indeed rise from the ashes, she allocated role of project manager to herself due to her experience with Horror House and decided that all her friends could help.... Whilst this project took shape they could use the new punt for a bar...... She had a plan...Patty liked plans.....
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Post by phil70 on May 12, 2019 7:39:00 GMT
Flappy stood in awe of Patty who truly was a force of nature and not one to be messed with, given Patty's experience with the Horror House Flappy was more than happy to allow her to assume the "Boss" role, Flappy sidled up to Patty as she was screaming down the phone at some poor soul and waited till she was finished with them before he dared speak "What about that Welsh bloke, you know the posh one, oh whats his name Lawrence what's it Bowen I think, maybe Dyertribe could persuade him seeing as they have a connectìon" Patty said "that seems like a plan, of course if he proves a bit tricky she berself will "have a word"
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Post by dyertribe on May 12, 2019 9:29:25 GMT
Flappy stood in awe of Patty who truly was a force of nature and not one to be messed with, given Patty's experience with the Horror House Flappy was more than happy to allow her to assume the "Boss" role, Flappy sidled up to Patty as she was screaming down the phone at some poor soul and waited till she was finished with them before he dared speak "What about that Welsh bloke, you know the posh one, oh whats his name Lawrence what's it Bowen I think, maybe Dyertribe could persuade him seeing as they have a connectìon" Patty said "that seems like a plan, of course if he proves a bit tricky she berself will "have a word" Well! That’s an idea, LLB is a good shout, he was involved in the refurb of LLanelly House. However he is the painty, soft furnishy type so best to get Nick Knowles in first for the dirty work.
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Post by peterboat on May 12, 2019 21:11:22 GMT
Peter and Taff had gone to Capri it was warm there he had left the flame thrower behind, he had seen Pattys pet lizard dragon looking at it with interest but didnt think anybody else was interested in it.................
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Post by patty on May 13, 2019 5:27:14 GMT
Typical thought Patty..Peter swanning off leaving the hard graft to the rest of the gang.. She'd have to put out a call for workers ..a sort of Kitchener Style poster...'The Unstable Bar Needs You Now' ....... She looked at the flame thrower and decided that for now she would store it with all the other bits n bobs(shells, ammunition, guns etc) as you never knew when anything would come in useful. Patty wandered off with Dizzy Dragon, Meanwhile the rest of the gang crowded into the new punt to set up the bar...
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