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Post by peterboat on Jun 7, 2019 22:02:10 GMT
So Peter hosted a party at the super punt, all turned up because they knew free booze was in the offing, Flappy and John were curious why the Lister was sat on the bank, and decided that once they had lubricated their throats they would ask Peter about it. The girls completely ignored the lump on the bank in their rush to get into the stateroom bar, Peter got them into the wheelhouse to show them some improvements he had made, and once they had settled down he hit the big green button and a strange hum came from the engine room, he then moved the throttle and the punt started to move, they were on a clear long pound so he pushed the throttle to the stops, immediately the outside world went grey then black with a silvery blur! John looked at Peter who was smiling "what have you done" he exclaimed Peter grinning like a cheshire cat said " intersteller stardrive! we are already in another solar system" There was alarge bang as Patty dropped her bucket of Merlot she went Pale and said "I am supposed to be looking after the grandkids later on".......................
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Post by Trina on Jun 7, 2019 22:28:41 GMT
Mrs B B just smiled into her bucket of Rusty Rats Tail.As long as her bucket was full...she was happy.The other ladies also smiled as the drinkies were free.Welllll,free for them as Peter was paying wahay !!!
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Post by patty on Jun 8, 2019 6:46:11 GMT
Once Patty had recovered from the pleasant surprise shock(nano second) of no grandchild duties she decided to investigate the navigation system on board the punt. She'd been shown how gadgets worked on board an old fishing boat and was keen to put knowledge acquired to the test... what could possibly go wrong?
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Post by peterboat on Jun 8, 2019 9:57:35 GMT
John and Flappy were studying the navigation system and both realised that they had no idea where they were! The punt was already beyond known charts they both looked at Peter and wondered what he was up to..................
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Post by phil70 on Jun 8, 2019 11:47:01 GMT
Flappy's braincell was in overdrive as he wondered why they at not all bèen crushed onto the rear bulkhead by the blistering acceleration and realised that Peter had also installed inertial dampening as part of the upgrade so even if Peter stood on the anchors (technical word for brakes) they would be safe from slamming into the windshield. Hopping with excitement Flappy wondered how far the inertial field extended so being of an adventurous nature he opened the Houdini hatch and climbed into the roof. The first anybody knew about this was the sight of Flappy hanging off the roof peering into the helm upside down and grinning broadly he waved at the assembled crew. John wondered what would happen if he turned the inertial dampening field off. .. Luckily for Flappy Peter stopped John just in time and bellowed at Flappy to "GET YOUR SKINNY BONES IN HERE" Flappy dutifully complied
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Post by peterboat on Jun 8, 2019 14:46:51 GMT
John and Flappy had to know where Peter had got the drive from, Peter smiled "its like this if you know where you are going you can transport wherever you want, so I went into the future to the Britsh aerospace industry and found this stuff" he indicated to the stern and the console, "well nobody was around so I borrowed it along with that" he said indicating a screen floating in the air! He had noticed that Patty had tried to put the screen in her bag but couldnt catch it! Peter continued "the screen is programmed for me only and it will attack or escape if someone tries to steel it" he looked pointedly at Patty. Both John and flappy asked what it did "its a three dimensional navigation chart where are we" he asked and immediately showed them where they were and where they were going............................
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Post by phil70 on Jun 8, 2019 16:02:54 GMT
John and Flappy gasped simultaneously " Back to the Future"!!! Patty had a rather dismissive expression on her face, she was somewhat put out by being unable to purloin the pretty floaty green screen thingy. Patty drew breath and launched into tirade aimed at the boys simply to give herself breathing space while she thought up a plan to obtain the latest object of her desires namely the mysterious green floaty thingy. The boys just shut their ears and went la la la very loudly. Patty fumed, she was not used to not getting her own way. The rest of the gurls (snigger) just continued pouring drinky poos down their necks oblivious to Party's unhappy state of mind
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Post by patty on Jun 9, 2019 6:53:18 GMT
Patty never let little problems defeat her..all this stuff from the future there had be a way of her gaining control. She'd start by being very nice to the screen, then she'd persuade it to swap allegiance to her. Riffling through her bag she found a tin of 2 stroke oil........
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Post by phil70 on Jun 9, 2019 7:01:10 GMT
With tin of 2T oil in hand Patty thought "hmm Metal Lady's emergency rations, I wonder if the grèen floaty thing is as keen on this stuff as Metal Lady is?"
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Post by peterboat on Jun 9, 2019 9:26:05 GMT
The screen was bristling with anger! and activated its defense shields, it wouldnt alter its allegiance from Peter, because he had freed him from the glass case where he had put for his radical thinking, it was deeply unhappy at the thought of being stuffed in Patties handbag, to much like the glass case where he had spent thousands of years
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Post by JohnV on Jun 9, 2019 9:34:57 GMT
Annoyed at all the attention being directed at the green whirly thing, the gravy stained cat hurled itself at this pretentious rival. The whirling claws and flailing tail refused to grip the monster but as it shot out of the cat's claws it collided with the can of aged 2ST oil that Flappy had been inspecting (and being Flappy, had left the cap loose). The collision sprayed the aged and the very sticky oil all over the screen's defense shield, totally obscuring its vision. Using it's advanced navigation system it looked for a large cavernous area where it could regroup. It dived into the concealing darkness.
Patty smiled a satisfied smile, and snapped shut the handbag.
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Post by peterboat on Jun 9, 2019 10:24:30 GMT
Seconds later the handbag was vaporised and the screen was free!! Patty was aghast all her collected treasures had been vaporised! including her purloined from Peter personal transporter, The screen was angry and fixed its attention on the cat and Flappy who were cowering behind Mrs BB, Peter decided to intervene before someone really got hurt [he had seen what the screen could do when it wiped out its jailers!] he gently held the screen whilst he cleaned the old oil of it and then let it hover free happily. Peter explained to the gang that the screen was an alien and they were returning it to its home planet, once there it would program the punt to return home with a whole load of giant diamonds as a reward.........................
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Post by patty on Jun 9, 2019 16:22:27 GMT
But would she get a new handbag? More importantly did this alien planet have expanding handbags? Even more importantly would their be opportunity(as if she needed to check this out!) to collect more treasures? She sat down next to Bb and sniffed and sighed and shed a few tears(OK theres milking it and theres milking it)..her best buddy pushed a large Merlot in her direction and a box of chocs that she'd found......
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Post by peterboat on Jun 9, 2019 20:09:42 GMT
"Patty I know the handbag is one a kind but we will be getting trillions of pounds worth of diamonds!!" Peter exclaimed "whats the problem" Clearly thought Peter people never listened when they were worried about his friend the alien
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Post by Trina on Jun 9, 2019 21:24:51 GMT
Mrs B B crawled back underneath her favourite hiding table.She then emerged with a capacious,leather handbag."Here you go Patty,we've had a bit of a whip round & put in some bits n' bobs for you,even the gravy stained cat has contributed.We're sure you can quickly get it back to full capacity !" Patty had a quick rummage,there was plenty of stuff in there to get her started.Give her a few days & Patty's bag would be almost back to normal.Patty had a good look around the bar,there must be something there she could sneak into her new bag...
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