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Post by patty on Oct 25, 2019 9:43:11 GMT
Patty not being one to be left out of anything had seen BB sneak out and yes arrived just as the bells tolled.......well jangled but that didn't sound as exciting..... That left ........ ?? who......
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Post by peterboat on Oct 26, 2019 19:44:24 GMT
Peter was explaining to santa that it didnt matter whether they achieved Big Reds destruction it was the hunt that mattered, Getting back Santas little helpers would be more fun than being Santas little helpers. Santa didnt get it he had the best job in the world as far as he was concerned so why shouldnt others love it to? Peter Sighed and wished that John hadnt messed with the electrics, still he smiled he looked younger with his black frizzled hair..............Flappy was listening to the conversation and was pondering did he really want to be Santa? He wasnt sure but he sure did want a proper adventure shooting things and bring back fair maidens, he sneaked of the back door to talk to the gang to see what could be done.................
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Post by phil70 on Oct 27, 2019 8:27:02 GMT
Hmm, Flappy quite liked the idea of rounding up stray elves, he also liked the idea of rescuing fair maidens in distress (provided Mrs Flappy didn't get wind of it, his ears had just recovered from the last boxing he had received) Flappy was warming to the idea of of blasting away at so far unnamed enemies, Flappy decided a list was called for. His 2 brain cells fair rattled as he withdrew his infamous indelible pencil from his sky rocket.
GUNS, LOTS OF'EM AMMO, LOADS OF IT MUNITIONS, YOU CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH GRENADES AND CLAYMORES RATIONS, AN ARMY MARCHES ON IT'S STOMACH er uhm er ,Flappy had overstretched his brain cell and it's companion, Sod it, I'll sort the rest out later oh I almost forgot BOOZE, Gruntfuttocks finest, Merlot, Rusty Rats Tail, WD40, and of course Lemonchello
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Post by JohnV on Oct 28, 2019 6:32:36 GMT
John was on the deck of the punt, gazing at the slowly receding water over the towpath. "Go down quicker ..... please go down quicker" he sighed Trapped on board, Trina had worked her way through a whole trips worth of Rusty Rats Tails and had now started (while complaining bitterly about the meager stores) on the White Lightning (which was in the engine room stores as a degreaser and acid etch)
There was no getting away from it he thought, he was going to have to dramatically increase the size of the booze store if they were going to have an extended trip like the ones they used to have. He was going to have to be creative to manage that.
He dug out a pencil from one of the many pockets in his strange canvas jacket, found an only slightly grubby back of an envelope from another pocket. Perching comfortably on a bollard, he licked the end of the pencil and began to scribble
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Post by patty on Oct 28, 2019 7:09:43 GMT
All these lists were all very well and Patty supposed they were essential to planning.... She wondered what the next adventure would bring, where would they go? who would they see? and most importantly what amazing treasures would she find, she felt sure she'd find a thingymejig and a whatsitcalled etc etc Maybe they'd find sunshine and warm or maybe she could order warm gear on that Amazon happy ap site that bb had told her about...she'd heard u could get so much just sent...all she needed was to borrow someones plastic card...now who? She eyed John n Flappy thoughtfully they seemed engrossed in making lists.......
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Post by phil70 on Nov 3, 2019 23:35:41 GMT
Flappy said " so we'll double up on the Gruntfuttocks order just in case and make room for a couple of hogs heads of Merlot. John agreed and added that they had better not forget the Rusty Rats Tail and WD40. The pair began to shift in their seats and felt, you know, uncomfortable, it was as if somebody was watching them. John glanced over Flappy and spotted Patty looking in their direction. John kicked Flappy under the table and having caught his attention he nodded in the direction of Patty The gruesome twosome felt very uneasy at being the subjects of Patty's attention so the casually stood up and high tailed it to the door only to find it was locked by the Coate Faerie who had been dropped a few Bob by Patty
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Post by peterboat on Nov 4, 2019 10:19:38 GMT
Peter eyed up the butty it had laid around unloved and unused for a couple of years, he undid the ropes pulled it along the path and tied it to the stern of the old Punt, mmm he thought living and storage? He shouted over at John and Flappy who were trying to escape the coate faerie, flappy tripped him up and the pair came running over, he wasnt sure if they like the idea, but the ever broadening grins confirmed it was a goer..................................
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Post by phil70 on Nov 4, 2019 16:03:19 GMT
Flappy and John sort of got the gist of Peter's idea and Flappy made a beeline for his trusty trike and got his emergency toolbox, this consisted of a set of hammers from tiny toffee hammer upto a humongous 2 handed job. Flappy carefully selected the 2nd largest and hefted it thoughtfully in his hand "hmm this should do the job OK" and then proceeded to wang the bejesus out of the hull while John listened for the ring Eventually the pair smiled and deemed the hull to be sound. Peter thought "sound is something we've had quite enough of" and he helped Flappy to stow his tools John had wondered off but soon returned with a extra large tin of read lead together with a carrier bag of brushes and rollers plus a load of moth eaten T shirts.
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Post by patty on Nov 4, 2019 16:52:30 GMT
Patty wasn't quite sure wot was going on but she knew how to use a hammer......
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Post by peterboat on Nov 6, 2019 13:37:20 GMT
Peter was installing the hyperdrive Santa had given him along with the steller satnav, he had realised that the gang were never going to be santas helpers, Santas killers yes! The shielding was already in place it contained the air made by the air generator all this kit was the reason they needed the butty if the gang were left to close to each other God knows what tricks they would pull
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Post by metanoia on Nov 8, 2019 19:20:32 GMT
"Clang! Clang! Clang! (especially for patty).
Never mind the hammers, I come bearing pails, buckets and pumps.....!" squealed the creaking MetalWoman.
"Oi, you in the red frock - stop standing there preening your whiskers and get baling."
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Post by phil70 on Nov 9, 2019 11:02:21 GMT
Flappy on hearing the Metal Woman squealing drop his hammers and rushed to swiftly spray the Metal Woman with WD40, Flappy said "there that should help, I'll give you a rub down with an oily rag later" Flappy them set to bailing as fast as his scrawny frame would permit , which was surprisingly quickly though he was ably assisted by Big Red who had heeded Metal Woman's instructions. Big Red remark that it was nigh impossible to refuse a lady of Metal Woman's calibre, she seemed more than capable of doing one some serious damage . Flappy gulped and nodded assent
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Post by peterboat on Nov 9, 2019 13:09:40 GMT
Peter busy in the Punt didnt realise that the butty was sinking, it was only as he heard all the clattering that he realised the hammer work had been to enthusiastic! "Bugger" he exclaimed and ran the pipe from the punt pump into the butty unfortunately it was turned on and fastened onto the metal lady it didnt stay stuck for long as it slipped off her dropped into the water and soon the level was dropping. He discovered the problem Patty had been using a pick instead of a hammer,she blamed John as he had dropped them all on the floor and said "take your pick" so she had and the very enthusiastic in it use was why they were in the do dah as usual! John appeared with welding equipment and immediately welded Metal lady to the floor! Flappy picked up the grinder to free her but there was no need Metal lady ripped herself free, glared at John, picked up the welder and plated the floor perikly, she commented to john I have seem better pigeon poo than that weld, John looked glum then perked up when Peter gave him a flagon of Gruntfuttocks finest. Patty in the meantime was "collecting" all the tools up and putting them safely away in her handbag, to stop them getting lost she told herself..........................
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Post by patty on Nov 10, 2019 7:17:32 GMT
Well it seemed that teamwork at its finest had rendered the punt and butty fit for purpose and Patty having replenished her dwindling tool supply felt as if she was almost ready for their next great adventure away from the doom and gloom.... She propped BB up in front of another flagon of Rusty Rats Tails and surveyed the rather wet sodden mess that remained post welding... Maybe she ought to have a go with one of those hoovers that sucked up floods..she'd seen John using one and couldn't be that difficult.....
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Post by phil70 on Nov 12, 2019 20:53:28 GMT
On Patty's instructions Flappy was dispatched to purloin one of the BIG pumps that littered the surrounding area. Flappy felt sure they wouldn't miss one pump. So Flappy loaded the nice shiny FB pump onto his trolley and headed back to the unStable Bar and the home moorings of the Thunder Punt. Grinning from ear to ear Flappy presented Patty with the pump and John was already fitting a head to it, Patty decided that she would teach the boys how to use a Hoover, the boys sat around watching and scratching (you know what blokes are like) Flappy took the key and turned it cautiously, a quick turn and the engine blazed into life and roared as it began to devour anything and everything that wasn't nailed down. Patty grimly clung on as she worked her way through the assorted rubbish, her every sinews strained as she fought to control the baying beast of a machine. It had so much power that it was sucking up the rivets which popped out and it proved to be most effective in removing paint and indeed rust. John thought it was a good thing that he had the extra large tin of Red Lead
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