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Post by JohnV on May 27, 2016 7:53:05 GMT
John ambled into the Thunderbar and stopped sharply. A broad smile spread across his face, the recruiting poster had worked, as there behind the bar was a Bar-person-thingy. "Joy" thought John "The Coate Faerie is ensconced in his new office, the bar person-thingy pulling pints, the Transatlantic regular has learned the lingo." He paused and slurped the flagon of Gruntfuttocks Finest that he had been handed. He turned to Phil, "Pubs are like that Phil, old chap. The management changes, or starts watering the beer and the regulars drift away. Next thing you know a new watering hole becomes the favourite hang out and all the old regulars gather" He drained his flagon and reached out for the replacement the bar person-thingy was holding out to him "Ta" he took a sip "Right now guys, we need to get planning the next excursion, I know the Gurlz have enough goodies in their handbags to keep them going for a bit, but lets try and get ahead this time"
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Post by peterboat on May 27, 2016 9:16:45 GMT
"I have noticed an absence of Patty Ann though, Do you think we should have a word with her?" said Peter. "Is anyone going to Crick at all we are going on Saturday we could take the punt and have a pint or three whilst we are there it would be nice to show off the fantastic punt to Crick you never know we might get some orders!! Taff likes it there all those dogs to chat to plus it might evev be sunny!!".....................
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Post by PaulG2 on May 28, 2016 16:15:22 GMT
It was early morning, and not a soul was stirring yet as Thunderpunt materialized in Crick. Peter noticed a complete lack of any place to moor near the pub, but that was not really a problem for Thunderpunt. Peter pushed a few buttons and the zero point module deep within the secret nuclear bunker hidden in the bowels of the punt's engine room began to flicker. Peter pointed the punt at a shiny new boat that was moored in the middle of a space big enough for two boats. With a push of a button Thunderpunt was properly moored and the shiny new boat was nowhere to be seen.
Peter delighted in the convenience of being able to control the time/space continuum. "I've sent those shiny boat blokes off to the Rochdale." he announced to the crew. "I hope it wasn't anyone we know."
John and Phil were fiddling with the punt's electronics for a bit when a hologram of a boat appeared in the space Peter had left by mooring properly. "We've sorted a spot for the gurlz to moor when they arrive." said Phil. The men looked around, quite satisfied with themselves and they all patted each other on the back and gave high fives for a job well done.
Meanwhile, the gurlz awoke with a start as the shiny new boat they had rented suddenly materialized in Manchester. "I know when I've been transported." declared Mrs. BB, "And I bet I know what knob heads transported us here!"
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Post by phil70 on May 28, 2016 22:34:37 GMT
Phil stood transfixed, his mobile started ringing, the sound if the Ting Tings echoed off every surface. " Oh bother, it's never done that before" said Phil, nobody ever called him but sure enough his phone was ringing. Tentatively Phil picked up " Hello, you have reached Phil's phone" with that all that could be heard was a sort of sonic screeching which tore at your ears and made them bleed. On the other end of the phone were the girls(snigger), all screaming obscenities across the airways. Phil hastily dropped his phone in the cut but to no avail, still the sound just kept coming. The boys all stood with fingers in ears and the light suddenly came on and in unison they all said "The Gurls?" to which Phil nodded "and they ain't happy" Peter said it was nowt, just an oops moment and that we could soon get them back to which Phil replied "well you tell em cos I've heard enough obscenities for one day.
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Post by peterboat on May 28, 2016 22:49:03 GMT
Peter decided that whilst they could get the gurls back maybe time would heal the slight upset caused by sending them to the Rochdale. "I mean taff they are in Yorkshire gods county they should be pleased" he said. Taff sniffed scratched his ear and quietly sniggered to himself as he knew they were on the other side of the mountain!
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Post by JohnV on May 29, 2016 8:01:39 GMT
John had grabbed his military grade ear defenders (the fold up small ones stamped with the broad arrow on the side) With the volume thus reduced he was able to make out the words. He paled, but bravely listened on, then he picked up on a phrase. " Modewheel, I recognise that" he muttered to himself "They're on the Manchester Ship Canal" there came the sound of four short and one prolonged hooter blasts. Wise in the way of the MSC rules and regulations, John knew that this was number 8 on the schedule of signals and meant "Temporarily out of control". This was bad, Really bad. He hastily recorded a loop message on the voice recorder, grabbed the still noise bemused Phil and Paul and dragged them into the secret nuclear bunker, pressing the big red button just before slamming the door.
There was a loud "POP" and the enraged Gurlz appeared in the bar. In the sudden silence that followed, the taped message could be heard repeating it's mantra.
"It was not I, it was Peter and Taff. I am little George Washington, I cannot tell a lie, it was definitely them"
In the quiet darkness John waited for the next sound signals 9. one prolonged, two short and one prolonged "about to swing" 10. one very long of not less than 8 seconds duration "have completed swing"
John wasn't fooled though, he was waiting for number 11. on the schedule .....three prolonged and three short "Attendance of boatman is required"
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Post by peterboat on May 29, 2016 11:01:26 GMT
The gurls were FIZZING! "where are they" they demanded of Paul and Peter "dont they know Crick is my Birthday treat" said Trina "and we will lose our deposit on that boat" screeched Patty Ann! Because of the volume they had not yet heard John and Phils tape, so Peter led them out sharpish to the Merlot bar, where Jaws dropped and eyes went out on stalks! as they saw the stocks of wine. Paul closed the door behind the gurls and they both shot off out of the punt sharpish chuckling as they ran away..............
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Post by PaulG2 on May 29, 2016 23:09:56 GMT
Paul had the ominous feeling that something just wasn't right. That had been too easy. Since when do gurlz let you off the hook for a misplaced boat and lost deposit for a few bottles of Merlot? Fearing for the worst, Paul turned to see if the Thunderpunt was still there, but at that moment, John seemed to appear from nowhere. All hunched over and looking a bit the worse for wear, "It was not I", "It was not I" seemingly being looped from John's arse. "Give me hand here now, mates", John asked with what looked like a bit of tear in his eye. "The gurlz had a bit of fun with the sound recorder before they zapped me over here, and I need a hand getting it out. Peter took the electrical cord hanging from John's backside and tied it around the bumper of a nearby bus. That sound recorder will be sorted as soon as that light turns green, old chap." Said Peter. "But I do suggest you wrap your arms around that lamppost real tight until then."
With the bus on its way and the sound recorder sorted, the men headed towards the Thunderbar. They all agreed it was Phil's turn to buy when they suddenly realized that Phil was nowhere to be seen, nor, for that matter, was Thunderpunt.
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Post by phil70 on May 30, 2016 7:23:09 GMT
Phil woke with a start, having been temporarily stunned by the Gurlz combined Tasers,nearly everything was working again apart from his tongue. Phil made the grave error of opening his mouth to scream, partially in terror and partially in the vain hope that someone would save him from the GURLZ!!(no chance) When Phil tried to speak all that came out was sounds like wagahumph, blenninworst, and similar gibberish, being Tasered in the mouth definitely made it onto Phil's list of things to avoid. Now the problem was........were the hell had the girls (snigger) sent him.
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Post by peterboat on May 30, 2016 17:18:10 GMT
And more to the point they had taken off with Taff!! Peter realised with a growing sense of unease that they must have teleported with Taff on board he hadnt even had his rabies injections they could have taken him anywhere? "Oh well" he said "lets go the bar Taff will bring them back he always does" and with that they went to the bar.............
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Post by phil70 on Jun 1, 2016 22:13:33 GMT
Phil staggered his feet and feeling somewhat out of sorts he decided he was in need of refreshment and a sit down so he could gather his thoughts. Phil spotted what appeared to be a cafe and sat at one of the pavement tables. Shortly a man came out wearing a long white apron, striped jumper and beret while his upper lip was adorned with a pencil mustache. Phil assumed the gurlz (snigger) had sent him to France and spoke in his best French " avez vous un cuppa?" The waiter sniffed and replied " Oh a froggy are we,huh well soz mate but we only speak engerlish round 'ere not sure what you said but I did get last bit" and he wandered off only to return shortly with a cup of Rosie. Realizing his mistake Phil asked where he was, the bemused waiter replied " Camden Lock and I must say your Engerlish is very good for a froggy" Phil resolved to phone John as soon as he'd drunk his tea
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Post by PaulG2 on Jun 2, 2016 2:39:22 GMT
What Phil failed to appreciate was that his brain was still somewhat jumbled from the tasering the gurlz gave him, and from the multiple attempts to transport him to their chosen destination. Apparently hitting a moving target with a transporter takes a bit of practice, and Phil had spent much of the day as energy rather than matter.
What Phil didn't understand, at least for the moment, is that he wasn't in London but rather he was aboard the HMS Camden Locks, speeding through space in hyperdrive.
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Post by phil70 on Jun 2, 2016 7:13:03 GMT
BUMMER!!!!
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Post by phil70 on Jun 2, 2016 13:37:56 GMT
Phil finished his tea and decided to do some window shopping, wandering along the road he stopped to peer through a shop window and was startled to see nothing but blackness and stars rushing past. Phil gave his shorts a quick rustle and looked again only to see the same thing. Phil then moved on to Ann Summers to er um check it out but when he looked through the darkened shop window again all that was in sight was blackness and a myriad stars hurtling past. Phil stopped and considered the facts and in the light of his past experience of inter-stellar travel he decided that the road he was in must be on the holo-deck of a space craft of some sort and he was in fact a loooooooong way from home. Phil resolved to find his way to the flightdeck and contrive to find a way of getting home, with this in mind Phil checked his resources, going through his pockets revealed a Leatherman, 2 or 3 of his favourite hammers, a ball of string and a penknife, "that should be enough to turn this baby round" he muttered, and with that Phil set about locating the flightdeck
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Post by peterboat on Jun 2, 2016 14:19:09 GMT
"What do you mean you have sent him to space!!" exclaimed Peter "where in space is Taff? do you realise that given the urge he could destroy the world!! get him back now!!" Peter was very upset with the gurls to say the least. He then looked around and noticed Phil was missing as well "wheres Flappy" the gurls looked at each other and sniggered from that Peter knew that both of them were Lost In Space now where had he heard that before? John was in a corner looking scared "whats up" Peter said" "Its them lot since they came back from the other side they have changed" Peter looked and yes there was a slight green glow to the gurls "mmmm" he said "to the punt, lets swop them before they cause some real mischief"............................
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