Post by quaysider on Jan 15, 2019 2:25:55 GMT
I know that most folk say things like "passed away " or "recently departed"...
but my mum died a few hours ago - and I've abanoned dry January .... drank the best part of a bottle of Aldi's finest (cheaperast) gin and am/are currently sitting here whilst Andy sleeps (lord knows how) pondering stuff...
It's after 2 am... no fecker is around.... (actually I just heard some one on the towpath staggering - not really fair to bring them into my crisis) and I feel totally lost.
Mum had dementia - we discovered this 8 months ago when dad was at deaths door....
Unitil 30th Nov, we had 2 cars.... both of which were flogged when we gave up our moorings and became ccsers..... annoyingly HAD we not have got rid of a car, a few hours ago when my cousiin phoned to say mum had died, I could have got a taxi back to pick up a car and gone to "be there" for dad.... instead, my brother ASKED my cousin on learning of mums death, to call me and let me know. ffs..... Coward.....
Anyway - I've (after a quick blub) - phoned my mums bother --------- who is also my BROTHERS emplyoyer, to let him know hiss sistter has died.... my brother, (when I finally spoke to him ) said "can you go spend time with dad as I need to go to towrk tomorow fffs"..... er , HE works for my mothers brother!!!!!!
Am I wrong to be a) fucked off (sorry ladies) with my bother.... or b)C#uKECd off with the fact he "chicnkedn out" of telling me?"
neither is impotant I know - she's dead end of.... and in the longer term my logical brain KNOWS it's actally a blessing....
Doesn't feel like it now....
I'm 46 - .... lucky compared to many but I never had the decent "goodbye" ... NOT even sure if I hugged or kissed my mum the last time I saw her - which ashamedly was th 15th Nov (her birtuday).....
no need to say anything - I'm just a bit lost tonight and didn't want to wake anyone who loves me....and I do appreciate at the fact they do SO SO much.
yours, ginger puff.xx
but my mum died a few hours ago - and I've abanoned dry January .... drank the best part of a bottle of Aldi's finest (cheaperast) gin and am/are currently sitting here whilst Andy sleeps (lord knows how) pondering stuff...
It's after 2 am... no fecker is around.... (actually I just heard some one on the towpath staggering - not really fair to bring them into my crisis) and I feel totally lost.
Mum had dementia - we discovered this 8 months ago when dad was at deaths door....
Unitil 30th Nov, we had 2 cars.... both of which were flogged when we gave up our moorings and became ccsers..... annoyingly HAD we not have got rid of a car, a few hours ago when my cousiin phoned to say mum had died, I could have got a taxi back to pick up a car and gone to "be there" for dad.... instead, my brother ASKED my cousin on learning of mums death, to call me and let me know. ffs..... Coward.....
Anyway - I've (after a quick blub) - phoned my mums bother --------- who is also my BROTHERS emplyoyer, to let him know hiss sistter has died.... my brother, (when I finally spoke to him ) said "can you go spend time with dad as I need to go to towrk tomorow fffs"..... er , HE works for my mothers brother!!!!!!
Am I wrong to be a) fucked off (sorry ladies) with my bother.... or b)C#uKECd off with the fact he "chicnkedn out" of telling me?"
neither is impotant I know - she's dead end of.... and in the longer term my logical brain KNOWS it's actally a blessing....
Doesn't feel like it now....
I'm 46 - .... lucky compared to many but I never had the decent "goodbye" ... NOT even sure if I hugged or kissed my mum the last time I saw her - which ashamedly was th 15th Nov (her birtuday).....
no need to say anything - I'm just a bit lost tonight and didn't want to wake anyone who loves me....and I do appreciate at the fact they do SO SO much.
yours, ginger puff.xx
not that its easy. 
