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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 16:44:28 GMT
Its not his fault, its B&Q. You go there because its the only place open on a Sunday; after a half-an-hour of searching you determine they haven't got what you want but do have several similar items that in some detail make them unsuitable for the job and all of them are of the cheapest shoddiest quality possible; the pre-packaging will be damaged indicating someone has opened it to remove a component that was absent from a purchase they made earlier, or they wanted six screws but the pre-pack contained five; all of this pales into insignificance when you consider the ridiculously inflated price; if you are lucky enough to find a member of staff to answer an enquiry they will be of the ignorant bottom-scratching variety; you have the immeasurable pleasure of dealing with a machine designed to eliminate queues which, yes, you have to queue for, and the tone of the machine voice indicates she was particularly bored with her job and clearly presumes everybody using the machine is a idiot.
After a visit to their stores St. Francis of Assisi would be ready to kick babies. I fucking hate B&Q. Burn it down. And I have a low opinion of Argos too.
I once had a dope-smoking neighbour who constantly berated his lovely young son by calling him a 'retard' in a loud voice (he only had one volume setting) every time he made a mistake, which seemed to be often. The kid had no chance. I expect he grew up to be a total jerk as well. But it wasn't his dad's fault - that's how he was brought up.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 16:50:11 GMT
That's a very ugly world you describe, devoid of any colour or joy.
It doesn't have to be like that does it?
Rog
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Post by naughtyfox on May 27, 2019 16:52:13 GMT
At that point I said "Don't be so angry" to which he replied to mind my own fucking business or the like. I said "you are setting a very bad example to your daughter" to which more F-ing and a suggestion that we "take it outside" which was fairly brave considering he was a little runty thing and I am 6'4" Why didn't you just say "Charles knows where you live," and then "Dah, dah, daaaaahhh!!" in sinister overtones?
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Post by naughtyfox on May 27, 2019 16:54:02 GMT
Perhaps Nick, with your easy life, you and Geoff could have offered to take her narrowboating for an afternoon. That's actually a very good angle.
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Post by naughtyfox on May 27, 2019 16:59:16 GMT
I would probably have discussed the inadequacies of machine checkouts as it appears this was what had upset him. I wasn't there. Don't criticise peoples parenting its just not appropriate. By mentioning social services you were incredibly aggressive. Responding with high levels of aggression to someone who is displaying aggressive behaviour is not going to have positive outcomes. Maaan He was still angry at nothing to do with the shop, and threw the heavy item (I think it was a box of tiles) onto the packing area Presumably if you came across a father with his cock up his 10 year old daughter you would think to yourself “oooh, mustn’t criticise his parenting” and walk on. How do we get from throwing a box of tiles to sexually molesting your own daughter in one step? What a vivid imagination you have!
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Post by naughtyfox on May 27, 2019 17:02:26 GMT
as an aside, you must have been lucky finding a B&Q with self-service checkout. Here in North Bristol our B&Q superstore has just been totally renovated and the self service tills have been removed. What's more the card readers are not even contactless, and they all have bits of paper stuck on the number keys 'cos the original numbers have been worn away. probably they are not bothered 'cos all the competition in the area has closed down - we used to have Focus, Homebase and Wickes - all have closed down their N. Bristol branches over the past 10 years. I almost cried when I read that. Still, there's a B&Q in Kidderminster, and you can catch a train there from Bristol Temple Meads. Change at Worcester.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 17:03:29 GMT
That's a very ugly world you describe, devoid of any colour or joy. It doesn't have to be like that does it? Rog No, it doesn't. You could go to Screwfix instead. Which is owned by....B&Q....aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 17:28:54 GMT
He was still angry at nothing to do with the shop, and threw the heavy item (I think it was a box of tiles) onto the packing area Presumably if you came across a father with his cock up his 10 year old daughter you would think to yourself “oooh, mustn’t criticise his parenting” and walk on. How do we get from throwing a box of tiles to sexually molesting your own daughter in one step? What a vivid imagination you have! By some numpty saying that parents should be able to do what they like with their children and one mustn’t intervene. Unfortunately some parents do like to do vile things with their kids (not this chap, as far as I know, although I suppose it’s possible) and by the culture of “mustn’t say anything - parents’ ‘human rights’ is to do with their kids as they please’ as promoted by said numpty, such behaviour is perpetuated.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 17:31:05 GMT
I would probably have discussed the inadequacies of machine checkouts as it appears this was what had upset him. I wasn't there. Don't criticise peoples parenting its just not appropriate. By mentioning social services you were incredibly aggressive. Responding with high levels of aggression to someone who is displaying aggressive behaviour is not going to have positive outcomes. Maaan There was nothing wrong with the machine checkout. He lost his temper because he couldn’t instantly locate the barcode on the item he was buying. Exactly. Look what I said "inadequacies of machine checkouts" if he had gone to a human checkout there would have been no need for him to locate the barcode. Requiring someone to locate a barcode IS an inadequacy of machine checkouts. You are undermining your argument by bringing sexual abuse into the discussion. This simply shows more aggression on your part as does mentioning a physical attribute or disability of a child. Maybe he was right to ask you to step outside because you were responding to him with high levels of aggression No. I disagree that society would be a better place if more people commented as you did. I think it would be a worse place.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 17:38:08 GMT
I was not there so can't really comment in terms of safeguarding. If you felt the child may be in danger then it is your responsibility to report this to whichever authority you think is appropriate. There will be CCTV footage as it was a large chain store.
I personally take child safety very seriously for family history reasons (child abuse in my mother's family being a contributory factor in suicides) and would have followed it up with the store manager if I felt it was important, and police.
Eta from what you said the child appeared to have a dilligaf look so perhaps it was not actually at all serious.
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 17:53:03 GMT
There was nothing wrong with the machine checkout. He lost his temper because he couldn’t instantly locate the barcode on the item he was buying. Exactly. Look what I said "inadequacies of machine checkouts" if he had gone to a human checkout there would have been no need for him to locate the barcode. Requiring someone to locate a barcode IS an inadequacy of machine checkouts. You are undermining your argument by bringing sexual abuse into the discussion. This simply shows more aggression on your part as does mentioning a physical attribute or disability of a child. Maybe he was right to ask you to step outside because you were responding to him with high levels of aggression No. I disagree that society would be a better place if more people commented as you did. I think it would be a worse place. Is that the best you can come up with after several hours pondering? You said people shouldn’t intervene regarding the conduct of parents with their children, I explained that sometimes it is appropriate and gave an extreme (but nevertheless unfortunately not that rare) example to prove my point. You are now smokescreening to avoid having to accept my point. Rather pathetic even though it makes me smirk. you think the world is a good place because outsiders don’t generally intervene in public displays of atrocious parenting. I disagree citing the general deterioration in public behaviour over the past 40 years or so, which I maintain is caused by your generation’s attitude of walking on by and not giving the atrocious parent appropriate feedback because “it’s nothing to do with me”. You are the problem, you are not part of the solution.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 18:00:34 GMT
I wasn't pondering I was out in the canoe !
What exactly so you think giving "feedback" to someone in a heightened state of emotive behaviour is going to do?
You really think if everyone stopped when they enountered unacceptable behaviour and said "excuse me but I don't think what you are doing is very good for you child" suddenly the world is going to be a better place?
I agree with intervening in some circumstances but to provide negative feedback to someone who is in the process of expressing negative emotion is not going to work.
I would be willing to bet that the bloke simply thought "what a cunt" after your interaction.
If you multiply this out you just get loads of people thinking others are cunts.
Is this good?
Surely better to initiate interaction on a positive note perhaps implying an understanding of the individuals circumstance and follow up with some positive parenting suggestions.
Or just call them a cunt and get over it !
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Post by Clinton Cool on May 27, 2019 18:07:18 GMT
Jeff and I popped into B&Q Evesham to get a new PIR floodlight for my mum's house - the existing one has decided to stay on permanently despite "rebooting" etc.
Got appropriate light and waited a few moments for a spare self service checkout. Started checkout process when, from the adjacent machine, there was a very loud and angry "There's no fucking bar code on it" followed moments later by a quieter "Oh yes there is". I looked round to see an angry runty little man (could have been a heroine user by the look of him) who was talking this way to his (presumably) daughter who was about 10 and Down's syndrome. Checkout monitor lady looked a little uncomfortable but ignored it. Moments later he angrily threw the box of tiles he was checking out, at the packing scales, it partially split open. At that point I said "Don't be so angry" to which he replied to mind my own fucking business or the like. I said "you are setting a very bad example to your daughter" to which more F-ing and a suggestion that we "take it outside" which was fairly brave considering he was a little runty thing and I am 6'4" and Jeff was alongside me in his big black leather boots and huge beard. At that point we left and a woman in the queue piped in with something to him, such as "shut up". I muttered something about calling social services and we departed.
But what an awful existence for the girl. Down's are prone to over-affection but when the object of your affection is that arsehole she is going to have a hard life. I wanted to check her for bruises! I'm not sure whether it was the worst or best part, but she actually looked fairly unperturbed, presumably used to his behaviour. No doubt he has his struggles but at the very least, he should keep his anger away from his daughter.
Did it come up in conversation that she was his daughter? Could have been his girlfriend
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 18:55:24 GMT
Jeff and I popped into B&Q Evesham to get a new PIR floodlight for my mum's house - the existing one has decided to stay on permanently despite "rebooting" etc.
Got appropriate light and waited a few moments for a spare self service checkout. Started checkout process when, from the adjacent machine, there was a very loud and angry "There's no fucking bar code on it" followed moments later by a quieter "Oh yes there is". I looked round to see an angry runty little man (could have been a heroine user by the look of him) who was talking this way to his (presumably) daughter who was about 10 and Down's syndrome. Checkout monitor lady looked a little uncomfortable but ignored it. Moments later he angrily threw the box of tiles he was checking out, at the packing scales, it partially split open. At that point I said "Don't be so angry" to which he replied to mind my own fucking business or the like. I said "you are setting a very bad example to your daughter" to which more F-ing and a suggestion that we "take it outside" which was fairly brave considering he was a little runty thing and I am 6'4" and Jeff was alongside me in his big black leather boots and huge beard. At that point we left and a woman in the queue piped in with something to him, such as "shut up". I muttered something about calling social services and we departed.
But what an awful existence for the girl. Down's are prone to over-affection but when the object of your affection is that arsehole she is going to have a hard life. I wanted to check her for bruises! I'm not sure whether it was the worst or best part, but she actually looked fairly unperturbed, presumably used to his behaviour. No doubt he has his struggles but at the very least, he should keep his anger away from his daughter.
Did it come up in conversation that she was his daughter? Could have been his girlfriend I think it unlikely. Though it has to be said, not impossible! On the other hand, since he didn’t seem to be a catholic priest, probably not.
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 19:00:55 GMT
I wasn't pondering I was out in the canoe ! What exactly so you think giving "feedback" to someone in a heightened state of emotive behaviour is going to do? You really think if everyone stopped when they enountered unacceptable behaviour and said "excuse me but I don't think what you are doing is very good for you child" suddenly the world is going to be a better place? I agree with intervening in some circumstances but to provide negative feedback to someone who is in the process of expressing negative emotion is not going to work. I would be willing to bet that the bloke simply thought "what a cunt" after your interaction. If you multiply this out you just get loads of people thinking others are cunts. Is this good? Surely better to initiate interaction on a positive note perhaps implying an understanding of the individuals circumstance and follow up with some positive parenting suggestions. Or just call them a cunt and get over it ! Giving negative feedback to outrageous behaviour lays down a marker that it is not acceptable. Just exactly the same as one would do with a child (except your children, of course, who were obviously not taught boundaries). Or to put it another and better way, not giving negative feedback tacitly and powerfully implies that such behaviour is fine. Of course the reality is that his behaviour was a bit of a public expression of frustration. If he gets no reaction, he will continue to escalate the behaviour until eventually he gets a reaction. Just exactly like a naughty teenager. So I did him a service by allowing him to have an argument at the stage before he ended up porking his daughter in B&Q’s paint aisle.
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