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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 11:31:58 GMT
Jeff and I popped into B&Q Evesham to get a new PIR floodlight for my mum's house - the existing one has decided to stay on permanently despite "rebooting" etc.
Got appropriate light and waited a few moments for a spare self service checkout. Started checkout process when, from the adjacent machine, there was a very loud and angry "There's no fucking bar code on it" followed moments later by a quieter "Oh yes there is". I looked round to see an angry runty little man (could have been a heroine user by the look of him) who was talking this way to his (presumably) daughter who was about 10 and Down's syndrome. Checkout monitor lady looked a little uncomfortable but ignored it. Moments later he angrily threw the box of tiles he was checking out, at the packing scales, it partially split open. At that point I said "Don't be so angry" to which he replied to mind my own fucking business or the like. I said "you are setting a very bad example to your daughter" to which more F-ing and a suggestion that we "take it outside" which was fairly brave considering he was a little runty thing and I am 6'4" and Jeff was alongside me in his big black leather boots and huge beard. At that point we left and a woman in the queue piped in with something to him, such as "shut up". I muttered something about calling social services and we departed.
But what an awful existence for the girl. Down's are prone to over-affection but when the object of your affection is that arsehole she is going to have a hard life. I wanted to check her for bruises! I'm not sure whether it was the worst or best part, but she actually looked fairly unperturbed, presumably used to his behaviour. No doubt he has his struggles but at the very least, he should keep his anger away from his daughter.
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Post by greenman on May 27, 2019 13:09:35 GMT
Sadly there are plenty of families like that. Also sounds like a bit of small man complex.
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Post by JohnV on May 27, 2019 13:18:28 GMT
Jeff and I popped into B&Q Evesham to get a new PIR floodlight for my mum's house - the existing one has decided to stay on permanently despite "rebooting" etc.
Telemachus, honestly.......... A B&Q, on a Bank Holiday Monday, in Evesham ....... and you are shocked to be surrounded by hoi polloi ?
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 13:23:09 GMT
Jeff and I popped into B&Q Evesham to get a new PIR floodlight for my mum's house - the existing one has decided to stay on permanently despite "rebooting" etc.
Telemachus, honestly.......... A B&Q, on a Bank Holiday Monday, in Evesham ....... and you are shocked to be surrounded by hoi polloi ? Hmm well just because one may be a member of the hot polloi doesn’t in my opinion justify behaving like that in front of your young Downs daughter.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 13:27:39 GMT
My god there are some horribl[y patronising] people around
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Post by lollygagger on May 27, 2019 13:38:51 GMT
My god there are some judgemental people about. Maybe the guy gets zero help, maybe the mother died or left, maybe she's at home dying with cancer and he's caring for both of them. Perhaps Nick, with your easy life, you and Geoff could have offered to take her narrowboating for an afternoon. My son is 28. We didn't even have one single evening "off" ever. When my ex did a runner I would come home from work each day wondering if he had hung himself... for years. I'm still his sole provider and will be FOREVER. Do we have any state help? No! Not a penny, no help, no sick pay, no social any-fuckin-thing. Do I flip occasionally? You bet! Am I rude and obnoxious sometimes? Yes! In public? Why not! When the shit's constantly hitting the fan with no respite whatsoever personally I find keeping up appearances after almost 30 years is becoming a bit of a drag. Maybe, just maybe you man in B&Q feels the same. And breath.
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Post by lollygagger on May 27, 2019 13:39:26 GMT
My god there are some horribl[y patronising] people around Cross posted. Agreed. Arseholes.
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 13:47:08 GMT
My god there are some judgemental people about. Maybe the guy gets zero help, maybe the mother died or left, maybe she's at home dying with cancer and he's caring for both of them. Perhaps Nick, with your easy life, you and Geoff could have offered to take her narrowboating for an afternoon. My son is 28. We didn't even have one single evening "off" ever. When my ex did a runner I would come home from work each day wondering if he had hung himself... for years. I'm still his sole provider and will be FOREVER. Do we have any state help? No! Not a penny, no help, no sick pay, no social any-fuckin-thing. Do I flip occasionally? You bet! Am I rude and obnoxious sometimes? Yes! In public? Why not! When the shit's constantly hitting the fan with no respite whatsoever personally I find keeping up appearances after almost 30 years is becoming a bit of a drag. Maybe, just maybe you man in B&Q feels the same. And breath. Yes all the above but that is no excuse to behave like he did in front of his daughter. Without his daughter, I wouldn't have given a shit. So presumably if it had been you, you would just have ignored his swearing, ranting and violence in front of his daughter. People like you are the reason why so much child abuse goes unaddressed. "Nothing to do with me guv" and walk on.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 13:55:47 GMT
Would it have been OK if it was a tall bloke with a non disabled child who was swearing at a machine?
He could be a good dad at the end of the day. Much better to let of steam in public like that. I would possibly have agreed with him about the unsatisfactory nature of robot checkouts and automation in general but criticising behaviour like you did is not on!
Wrong mode of interaction.
And its Heroin not Heroine. No E.
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 13:58:07 GMT
Would it have been OK if it was a tall bloke with a non disabled child who was swearing at a machine? He could be a good dad at the end of the day. Much better to let of steam in public like that. I would possibly have agreed with him about the unsatisfactory nature of robot checkouts and automation in general but criticising behaviour like you did is not on! Wrong mode of interaction. And its Heroin not Heroine. No E. So what would you have done? Anything, or nothing and walked away? And he wasn’t really swearing at the machine, he was swearing and exuding anger and violence at everything and everyone around him.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 14:09:57 GMT
Would it have been OK if it was a tall bloke with a non disabled child who was swearing at a machine? He could be a good dad at the end of the day. Much better to let of steam in public like that. I would possibly have agreed with him about the unsatisfactory nature of robot checkouts and automation in general but criticising behaviour like you did is not on! Wrong mode of interaction. And its Heroin not Heroine. No E. So what would you have done? Anything, or nothing and walked away? I would probably have discussed the inadequacies of machine checkouts as it appears this was what had upset him. I wasn't there. Don't criticise peoples parenting its just not appropriate. By mentioning social services you were incredibly aggressive. Responding with high levels of aggression to someone who is displaying aggressive behaviour is not going to have positive outcomes. Maaan
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Post by Telemachus on May 27, 2019 14:27:43 GMT
So what would you have done? Anything, or nothing and walked away? I would probably have discussed the inadequacies of machine checkouts as it appears this was what had upset him. I wasn't there. Don't criticise peoples parenting its just not appropriate. By mentioning social services you were incredibly aggressive. Responding with high levels of aggression to someone who is displaying aggressive behaviour is not going to have positive outcomes. Maaan There was nothing wrong with the machine checkout. He lost his temper because he couldn’t instantly locate the barcode on the item he was buying, although 2 seconds later he had. He was still angry at nothing to do with the shop, and threw the heavy item (I think it was a box of tiles) onto the packing area, it nearly bouncing off, in close proximity to his daughter (and me). i disagree with not criticising people’s parenting. I will criticise people parenting if they are allowing their children to cause damage or a major nuisance. If you don’t like that, well tough and you are part of the reason why so many children are badly behaved in public and continue to be badly behave teenagers and adults, their lives ruined as a consequence. Presumably if you came across a father with his cock up his 10 year old daughter you would think to yourself “oooh, mustn’t criticise his parenting” and walk on. That may be Ok for you but it is not OK for me. Actually I agree about not talking about calling social services, it was after I had nearly reached the door and was seething at his behaviour, but as you say, a bad idea and I regretted it. The trouble is these things come out of nowhere in a flash and I didn’t have a prepared response to the unexpected. With hindsight I would have said “when you get home, go sit on your daughter’s naughty step and spend some time thinking about whether your behaviour was appropriate”. That would surely have elicited a better response.
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Post by bodger on May 27, 2019 14:50:34 GMT
as an aside, you must have been lucky finding a B&Q with self-service checkout. Here in North Bristol our B&Q superstore has just been totally renovated and the self service tills have been removed. What's more the card readers are not even contactless, and they all have bits of paper stuck on the number keys 'cos the original numbers have been worn away.
probably they are not bothered 'cos all the competition in the area has closed down - we used to have Focus, Homebase and Wickes - all have closed down their N. Bristol branches over the past 10 years.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2019 15:04:13 GMT
My god there are some judgemental people about. Maybe the guy gets zero help, maybe the mother died or left, maybe she's at home dying with cancer and he's caring for both of them. Perhaps Nick, with your easy life, you and Geoff could have offered to take her narrowboating for an afternoon. My son is 28. We didn't even have one single evening "off" ever. When my ex did a runner I would come home from work each day wondering if he had hung himself... for years. I'm still his sole provider and will be FOREVER. Do we have any state help? No! Not a penny, no help, no sick pay, no social any-fuckin-thing. Do I flip occasionally? You bet! Am I rude and obnoxious sometimes? Yes! In public? Why not! When the shit's constantly hitting the fan with no respite whatsoever personally I find keeping up appearances after almost 30 years is becoming a bit of a drag. Maybe, just maybe you man in B&Q feels the same. And breath. I agree, actually it;s a criminal offence/breach of the peace or other, it makes me sick. I thought it was bad the other day, when a Dad asked his daughter who it was who had disagreed with her [ school girl about ten], so he could "go and blatter him"
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Post by Mr Stabby on May 27, 2019 16:36:13 GMT
Would it have been OK if it was a tall bloke with a non disabled child who was swearing at a machine? He could be a good dad at the end of the day. Much better to let of steam in public like that. I would possibly have agreed with him about the unsatisfactory nature of robot checkouts and automation in general but criticising behaviour like you did is not on! Wrong mode of interaction. And its Heroin not Heroine. No E. So what would you have done? Anything, or nothing and walked away? I would have stabbed him. Then I would have stabbed her. Then I would have stabbed everybody in the shop. But that's just me.
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