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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 15, 2020 15:00:53 GMT
Great idea. I can just imagine the plaque now: 'This is the Fith bridge, it was built after the Forth'. The plaque will be dipped in acid first of course, to age it. Recess a 1983 pound coin into the wood and glue it in place. That'll really throw people "wow this table is 37 years old". I envisage another plaque on the wall in its honour: 'The Forth bridge spans the Forth, a river in the north. The Fith bridge get you miffed, cos I'm only taking the pith'
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2020 16:39:04 GMT
Recess a 1983 pound coin into the wood and glue it in place. That'll really throw people "wow this table is 37 years old". I envisage another plaque on the wall in its honour: 'The Forth bridge spans the Forth, a river in the north. The Fith bridge get you miffed, cos I'm only taking the pith' I did the "he is taking the pith" with one of the woman's friends when I observed her toddler eating a tangerine. The look she gave me was quite amusing as initially she did think I was being offensive about the kid but I was simply pointing out that he was taking the pith.
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 15, 2020 16:46:12 GMT
I envisage another plaque on the wall in its honour: 'The Forth bridge spans the Forth, a river in the north. The Fith bridge get you miffed, cos I'm only taking the pith' I did the "he is taking the pith" with one of the woman's friends when I observed her toddler eating a tangerine. The look she gave me was quite amusing as initially she did think I was being offensive about the kid but I was simply pointing out that he was taking the pith. I do hope the poor lad didn't suffer from a speech impediment?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2020 16:49:51 GMT
That would be a nasty thing to have on one's conscience. A simple light hearted joke ruining a kid's life forever and condemning them to people doing jokes like "I think therefore I can't thwim" over and over again. Nightmare
As for the pith it is well known to be very nutritious in terms of vitamins and minerals so any small child taking the pith at such an early age would probably do well in life.
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 15, 2020 16:56:34 GMT
That would be a nasty thing to have on one's conscience. A simple light hearted joke ruining a kid's life forever and condemning them to people doing jokes like "I think therefore I can't thwim" over and over again. Nightmare As for the pith it is well known to be very nutritious in terms of vitamins and minerals so any small child taking the pith at such an early age would probably do well in life. Indeed. Similarly, a child who competes with the dog for scraps of donner meat dropped on the floor by its drunken mother will likely have a well developed immune system in later life. Very underrated, is a strong immune system.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2020 16:58:53 GMT
Definitely worth having good immunity which is why my mother didn't bat an eyelid when I came into the house with wounds from playing with rusty iron objects, and horse shit around my mouth.
And the daffodils. used to eat loads of daffodils as a kid. They are quite tasty actually.
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Post by JohnV on Sept 15, 2020 17:46:49 GMT
You can get smashing little dowel diameter metal plugs with a slightly larger rim at one end and a point in the middle.
Drill your dowel holes wherever you see fit in one plank then pop in the little thingies.
Place on a flat surface with a block at one side and at one end.
Place the next plank alongside, line them up then hit the edge wiv an 'ammer ....... lining up problem sorted
Drill the holes in the second plank where the points have marked it.
After completing this stage slop loadsa glue in the holes, pop a dowel into each hole (on one plank only, this is very important)
Now hit the edge wiv an 'ammer (try to not hit it in the same places as last time, as that way the dents won't be too deep to sand out)
At this stage you often come across problem number two
If you have put too much glue in the dowel holes, then like all liquids, it won't compress. In pracice this means that the dowels "bounce" and the planks keep moving apart again however hard you hit them.
This is easily solved by taking it all apart again and cleaning out the excess glue with those handy little cotton buds on sticks.
Re-line up the recalcitrant planks and hammer them together,
At this stage problem three often rears it's ugly head.
If when you drilled the holes (stage two) you didn't get them in line with the surface of the plank and not perpendicular to the mating surface (Drilled them on the huh) then however hard you hit the edge they will jam a fraction of an inch apart.
There are two possible means ofr correcting this problem.
One is a heck of a lot of filler and two is a bonfire
There' no real substitute for doing things the hard way. Incidentally purpose made dowels come with channels to allow the excess glue to escape (but you could just use less glue). The techniques I alluded to are literally thousands of years old (but don't let that get in the way). Your post all made sense at the end. It seems to me. that sometimes some aspects of comedy escape you
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 15, 2020 18:36:47 GMT
It all sounds too complicated for me. I think I'll line them up the best I can, glue and clamp, leave for a day then attack it with a belt sander. I have a good stock of belts, I knew they would be useful one day.
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Post by Jim on Sept 15, 2020 19:29:59 GMT
The wife said if you’re bored stuck at home why not make a bird table and now she’s not talking to me because I’ve put her in 7th place. Why make one when you could get one with higher perches.
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 16, 2020 4:28:33 GMT
The wife said if you’re bored stuck at home why not make a bird table and now she’s not talking to me because I’ve put her in 7th place. Why make one when you could get one with higher perches. Why bring fish into it? Now we'll get all those Oh my Cod jokes. Stick to the clown jokes. Know your plaice!
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Post by Jim on Sept 16, 2020 5:44:16 GMT
Why make one when you could get one with higher perches. Why bring fish into it? Now we'll get all those Oh my Cod jokes. Stick to the clown jokes. Know your plaice! For cods hake, I just think it's not worth getting a table for birds going cheap. 🤡
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Post by patty on Sept 16, 2020 10:50:07 GMT
Reelly don't u all think these puns have had their fish n chip moment? We'll all flounder searching for different ones I've newt more to say
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Post by Deleted on Sept 16, 2020 10:54:34 GMT
It's a contenchus subject. Tricky to know the best approach.
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 16, 2020 10:56:38 GMT
I'd bet a few squid that the fishiness will ling-er a while yet. The thread will limpit along before folk start clam-ing up, running out of fishy things to say.
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