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Post by patty on Sept 19, 2020 17:22:36 GMT
It might be rubbish now, but when you finally move into your place and you're sat outside with a beer, I'm sure you will feel it was all worth it. If that actually happens  Seller is getting very impatient, threatening to take it off the market. Nothing I can do, if someone from Gwynedd council is sat at home on full pay because Covid makes it too dangerous to go to work hence delaying all the searches, that's it. Anyway it's not all bad. If it does fall through there's another one that takes my fancy. Also I've stuck with a ramping up of my fitness regime, so that's good. As there is nothing u can do ...just sit back and let what happens happen. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 17:28:04 GMT
Wellsometimes when bad follows bad and then yet more horrible happens its inevitable that life can be viewed negatively. When I went through the worst, the people who really made me feel so lost were the 'friends n family' who would pull other folks tragedies out of a hat to compare so that I could 'see' there were always folk worse off. TBH I didn't give a dam about Mr or Mrs so and so's bad luck...my own was enough to struggle with. Its easy to be glib sometimes and advise positivity but dam difficult to do when bad follows bad and even when u think you have it right someone changes the goal posts. Its taken years to find positives in life and now occasionally I lose sight of that rainbow. I'm a believer that when you've hit that rock bottom there really is only one way to go...or stop where u are. I do understand how u feel but I do think it will improve..just keep on plodding and don't give in.... Sorry patty ... I was responding to the o.p. inviting comments on his pessimistic approach to life. Because I try to focus on blue sky thinking, doesn't mean I have no sympathy for others who are in a dark place. We all learn defence mechanisms from dark days ... I choose to focus on my good fortune that I came through, rather than bemoan my misfortune ... some poor souls never get through their hellish times. Rog |
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Post by patty on Sept 19, 2020 18:34:56 GMT
Wellsometimes when bad follows bad and then yet more horrible happens its inevitable that life can be viewed negatively. When I went through the worst, the people who really made me feel so lost were the 'friends n family' who would pull other folks tragedies out of a hat to compare so that I could 'see' there were always folk worse off. TBH I didn't give a dam about Mr or Mrs so and so's bad luck...my own was enough to struggle with. Its easy to be glib sometimes and advise positivity but dam difficult to do when bad follows bad and even when u think you have it right someone changes the goal posts. Its taken years to find positives in life and now occasionally I lose sight of that rainbow. I'm a believer that when you've hit that rock bottom there really is only one way to go...or stop where u are. I do understand how u feel but I do think it will improve..just keep on plodding and don't give in.... Sorry patty ... I was responding to the o.p. inviting comments on his pessimistic approach to life. Because I try to focus on blue sky thinking, doesn't mean I have no sympathy for others who are in a dark place. We all learn defence mechanisms from dark days ... I choose to focus on my good fortune that I came through, rather than bemoan my misfortune ... some poor souls never get through their hellish times. Rog I know Rog..and its good that we have optimistic folk on board Life would be very dull indeed if we were all cut from the same cloth |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 19:05:57 GMT
I'm not a pessimist at all. I just expect bad things to happen so they when they do, which they will now and then, it's not too much of a worry.
The rest of the time good things happen which is excellent.
I thought being a pessimist was when you actively believe that bad things will happen. that's a slightly different approach and one I would never take.
I personally "expect" or "prepare for" bad things to happen but believe that good things will happen..
Subtle difference.
If you genuinely believe that bad things will happen then you get into the whole manifesting thing and it is quite possible that you can cause bad things.
When I manifest things I always make an effort to ensure they are good things.
Manifesting negative outcomes is not a good thing to do.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 19:24:36 GMT
Life is shyte and then you get to live it. Or alternatively Life's a piece of shit When you look at it 👍 |
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Post by JohnV on Sept 20, 2020 3:05:11 GMT
a pessimist is often pleasantly surprised,  an optimist is often disapointed.  |
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 20, 2020 5:45:14 GMT
A pessimist is an optimist with experience.
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Post by patty on Sept 20, 2020 6:16:35 GMT
a pessimist is often pleasantly surprised, an optimist is often disapointed. Well I would be in full agreement had I not known .....Granny Gladys who could be guaranteed to see misery and despair in the most wonderful moments ...... |
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 20, 2020 7:09:27 GMT
One of the things I was taught during management training was always to maintain a PMA 'positive mental attitude'. This was seen to be very important to the extent that a whole day of a training course was dedicated to it. All well and good. I get it. If you have a decent level of control over something and you believe that you'll fail, you more than likely will.
I think it's important to distinguish between things you can control and others less so, when choosing to be positive, or not. You can be as positive as you like but if you can't control the thing in question it makes no difference whatsoever. What it does do is build an expectation of success. If that doesn't transpire it leads to disappointment. If that disappointment is 'factored into' your original feelings and things do go wrong, the actual disappointment you feel is lessened. If you staunchly refuse to be anything other than ultra positive about everything and you have a run of bad outcomes this can leave you in a very dark place.
An example of this right now is my sister. She has always been ambitious but somewhat limited in ability, in my opinion. She's also psychologically fragile, always has been. This led to a spell in hospital a couple of decades ago. You'd never guess this if you met her now. 100% positive about everything, 100% tuned into 'how to be successful' manual. She has a job where she has a lot of power and equal autonomy. What she says goes, basically. Then Covid came along, she was given a project where she had less autonomy and came across dissenting voices. No longer was it 'my way or the highway'. There were some bad outcomes. She had lost control. She couldn't cope with any kind of failure, even though it quite possibly wasn't her fault. So, she cracked up and is now back in the nuthouse.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2020 7:34:09 GMT
That's interesting. My older sister has been on and off section for a few years. I'm certain that part of it was when she was trained and employed by Kroll which is a heavy duty US security company. I'm sure they burned her. at one time she was on very good pay travelling to Russia on jobs anything was doable then bang. Burnout.
Bad news really. I'm sure it was the training. She was good and they knew it and they broke her. Among other things but I'm sure that had a very detrimental effect.
The money must have been nice but the stress no thanks.
Diagnosed bipolar. When she is on a 'high' she still talks like she could overthrow Putin no problems.
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 20, 2020 7:54:01 GMT
That's interesting. My older sister has been on and off section for a few years. I'm certain that part of it was when she was trained and employed by Kroll which is a heavy duty US security company. I'm sure they burned her. at one time she was on very good pay travelling to Russia on jobs anything was doable then bang. Burnout. Bad news really. I'm sure it was the training. She was good and they knew it and they broke her. Among other things but I'm sure that had a very detrimental effect. The money must have been nice but the stress no thanks. Diagnosed bipolar. When she is on a 'high' she still talks like she could overthrow Putin no problems. My sister's employer has been really good to her, as far as I can tell. It's a complicated situation really. First and foremost she was never up to doing such a job but you have to applaud someone who makes the effort she has. She has the spoils from it, big house etc., just about to buy a second home but I don't know whether she was happy, even when fully in control. My best guess was that she was, in a naïve way. First the degree, then the masters, a succession of job promotions, 2 successful children, a house with great views over the Peak District, 2 very expensive pedigree dogs, a personalised number plate, a seemingly adoring large following on social media. That covers pretty well everything doesn't it? And yet, despite all this outward success she's never been open with people. Every conversation is 'by the book', she instantly adopts latest fashions without ever questioning them. She's completely dismissive of life's alternatives, to the point of being openly hostile if a suggestion of them is ever brought up. But, the girl with everything ends up in the nuthouse. My best guess: So keen was she to get this 'successful' outcome that she traded her soul, her humanity for it. I don't mean not being kind and thoughtful with others but rather, she hid away her own doubts, insecurities and limited intelligence by a slavish adoption of, and daily repetition of, the 'how to be successful' manual. Over 20 years or so she probably thought that following the book rather than her soul had banished the demons for ever. Not so, as we have seen. |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2020 8:01:23 GMT
Yes it's strange isn't it.
Out of me and my two sisters the older one was the only one who invested in property with her inheritance. she did very well financially (two consecutive flats in London doubled in value) out of that although was parasited by her scumbag ex husband for years. He claims to have no money but he just knows how to hide it, so he can get half her money on divorce settlement. Proper fraudster. His brother defrauded elderly people and avoided jail by grassing up his mate who did the time for him while he took the money and bought a house in Primrose Hill. I just don't know how she ended up marrying someone from such a scummy family.
She had a good job highly paid much better than my younger sister who has had just normal jobs and I've never had a job.
So fast forward to now and she is living in a rented room and on and off section and on anti psychotics and no job. FFS she's on universal credit..
Her ex is squatting her house with their daughter and his new woman and her daughter, trying to bleed my sister for every penny he can get.
I never thought this sort of shit would visit my family but there you go you can't predict what happens. Just get on with things.
It's sad to have to say it but the family full of fraudsters who pretend they have no money are Jewish, Hitler escapees with Auschwitz and Israel connections. Ok so we mustn't be harsh, that's probably just some odd fluke that my sister ends up being relieved of virtually all of her money ...
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Post by lollygagger on Sept 20, 2020 8:07:57 GMT
Very good friend of mine, 4 kids, stay at home husband, IT director for a bunch of local newspapers, very switched on, logical and organised.
One when they woke in the morning she'd reverted to the mental age of a three year old, totally ga-ga. Stress! We always wondered how this super-woman managed to be so calm and sensible but she must have been on a knife edge.
She was lucky IMO to be married to a great mate of mine who is patience personified. No drugs. She recovered very slowly and a year or two later she went back to work having switched to teaching infants.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2020 8:26:22 GMT
Sad stories ... and I hope Clinton Cool your sister can make a full recovery to enjoy her family ... but I think we've moved a long way away from having a positive or negative outlook. No one can live their life buoyant, upbeat and positive all the time ... that's just unrealistic ... life touches us all. However it is possible to try and look for positives ... and I assume your o.p. wasn't discussing mental health issues, just our individual, daily outlook on life. Rog |
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Post by patty on Sept 20, 2020 10:17:21 GMT
Every subject on here drifts and weaves in a tapestry of our own creation.
I've found the side tracking here very interesting not only because of my own history..but also because I've done quite a lot of research into Mental Health/impacts of stress and more importantly what helps those affected to get through and re balance life.
I'm convinced the simpler more in tune with Ma Nature the better....leave the high profile dog eat dog world to those who flourish in that environment...
Anyway we can and will wander back on track.....
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Seller is getting very impatient, threatening to take it off the market. Nothing I can do, if someone from Gwynedd council is sat at home on full pay because Covid makes it too dangerous to go to work hence delaying all the searches, that's it. 
