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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 18, 2020 22:33:36 GMT
It sounds really negative, I know, but that's my new coping mechanism.
At the start of this year I'd sold a house for £15K more than I eventually sold it for, due to it being trashed by the tenant. This was a drawn out saga involving 2 failed buyers. Even when the eventual buyer got his house it wasn't the end of it. My solicitor didn't do their job properly. The buyer ended up trying to tear a strip off me for the sum of 24 quid. I referred him to my solicitor. I also had a contractor of the buyer ring me (no idea how he got my number) demanding the alarm code, the alarm was going off, he didn't know how to stop it. I told him that I'd given the alarm code in the conveyancing process but it wasn't in my control if the tenant changed it. He gave me some abuse then hung up.
Next: It's now 9 weeks since I agreed to buy a place in Wales. My solicitor didn't bother asking me if I wanted searches. They assumed, because I'm a cash buyer, that I didn't. They were wrong. The searches were finally ordered 4 weeks ago but still haven't been received. Down to Covid apparently. The seller is now doing her nut with me, threatening to pull out of the sale.
I agreed to sell my final 2 buy to lets to the gentleman next door to the houses. I've been keeping in touch with him, I'd like to complete on these before the place in Wales. Because I live on a boat, which isn't considered to be a 'residence', I'd be stung for 3% second home stamp duty unless I complete on the 2 buy to lets before buying the place in Wales. So, I've been pushing the buyer to speed things along, together with the solicitors who I've found to be almost totally useless. Bit of a protracted email exchange with the buyer this morning following his assertion that he was ready to exchange and complete immediately. It turns out his finance hasn't yet been approved.
I've almost forgotten about a report from one of the tenants that her floor was on the brink of collapse as the result of a foot of water sitting underneath the floor, the source of which is still unidentified. Best part of £6K to fix it, kick the ball down the road until it collapses again in 20 or 30 years.
I'd always been told that it was best, if you want to have a good life, to ignore the negatives, and concentrate on the positives. Believe that everything will be good. If you do that, the likelihood is that it will be good.
I take a more or less opposite approach these days. I expect the worst. If the worst comes along it's quite OK, because I expected it. If the worst doesn't happen it's a big bonus, makes me feel happy.
Anyone relate to this?
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 19, 2020 3:50:07 GMT
How are you doing with 'Abdul' and his cash-in-hand transaction?
Oh... I see! "It turns out his finance hasn't yet been approved." Well, that's something I didn't see coming!
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Post by patty on Sept 19, 2020 6:28:01 GMT
It sounds really negative, I know, but that's my new coping mechanism. At the start of this year I'd sold a house for £15K more than I eventually sold it for, due to it being trashed by the tenant. This was a drawn out saga involving 2 failed buyers. Even when the eventual buyer got his house it wasn't the end of it. My solicitor didn't do their job properly. The buyer ended up trying to tear a strip off me for the sum of 24 quid. I referred him to my solicitor. I also had a contractor of the buyer ring me (no idea how he got my number) demanding the alarm code, the alarm was going off, he didn't know how to stop it. I told him that I'd given the alarm code in the conveyancing process but it wasn't in my control if the tenant changed it. He gave me some abuse then hung up. Next: It's now 9 weeks since I agreed to buy a place in Wales. My solicitor didn't bother asking me if I wanted searches. They assumed, because I'm a cash buyer, that I didn't. They were wrong. The searches were finally ordered 4 weeks ago but still haven't been received. Down to Covid apparently. The seller is now doing her nut with me, threatening to pull out of the sale. I agreed to sell my final 2 buy to lets to the gentleman next door to the houses. I've been keeping in touch with him, I'd like to complete on these before the place in Wales. Because I live on a boat, which isn't considered to be a 'residence', I'd be stung for 3% second home stamp duty unless I complete on the 2 buy to lets before buying the place in Wales. So, I've been pushing the buyer to speed things along, together with the solicitors who I've found to be almost totally useless. Bit of a protracted email exchange with the buyer this morning following his assertion that he was ready to exchange and complete immediately. It turns out his finance hasn't yet been approved. I've almost forgotten about a report from one of the tenants that her floor was on the brink of collapse as the result of a foot of water sitting underneath the floor, the source of which is still unidentified. Best part of £6K to fix it, kick the ball down the road until it collapses again in 20 or 30 years. I'd always been told that it was best, if you want to have a good life, to ignore the negatives, and concentrate on the positives. Believe that everything will be good. If you do that, the likelihood is that it will be good. I take a more or less opposite approach these days. I expect the worst. If the worst comes along it's quite OK, because I expected it. If the worst doesn't happen it's a big bonus, makes me feel happy. Anyone relate to this? You've had a s... year tbh..not surprised makes u feel that the worst is always gonna happen. On balance of life with the lows should be 'highs'...you have been let down by 'people' and people are always the prob;lem. I found sols to be pretty awful and ended up doing lot of the legwork that I could myself...I did find without continually hassling nowt done I've also taken on the sols x 2 for mistakes made that put me at risk..but I keep extensive diaries and had all the info I needed at hand. I suspect the reason seller threatening to pull out is due to fear it won't go through by winter partic with threat of another Covid spike/lockdown. I had this fear ref Horror House partake as their sols kept asking for more n more stupid trivial things. I don't think I expect the worst in any scenario but when stuff happens now it has that inevitable feel about it.... Hopefully it will all pan out ok for you..I'd recommend keeping on top of it all..I know thats what u pay sols for but they don't. Make a list and just grit ure teeth and do it.....
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 6:49:49 GMT
I always expect the worst. Have done since I was a small child. It's just how I deal with life in general.
I sometimes think it's clairvoyance.
Take my parents for example. I "knew" my mum would kill herself and she did. So not such a big shock. Everyone else was surprised.
With my old man he was supposed to be leaving money to his children. He told me before he died. But I "knew" that his landed gentry second wife would have a way of getting the cash. Yes she did manage to get it despite it being written in the will that he was leaving some to his children, by hook and crook and her family solicitor she managed to screw us properly and leave us with fuck all. Only option is to sue the solicitor. What fun and ££,£££ to solicitors in the process. Parasites.
It's much easier to deal with these negatives if you basically knew they were going to happen...
Slightly tiring way to live but always best to be realistic.
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 19, 2020 7:05:07 GMT
How are you doing with 'Abdul' and his cash-in-hand transaction? Oh... I see! "It turns out his finance hasn't yet been approved." Well, that's something I didn't see coming! Well yes. I know it's not a popular thing to suggest these days but not everybody from every culture all around the world has exactly the same traits and values. Having spent a fair chunk of my life in Asia I can report that Asians tend to be exceptionally friendly and helpful. They are competitive but tend to 'operate' more within groups be that family or others within their culture rather than individually, as is the trait with us longer established Brits (read whites). Asians are not drawn to losing their temper and will always seek to avoid confrontation, if that's possible. They are not prone to violence, unlike us established Brits. What a lovely bunch, what's not to like? Well, their quest to avoid confrontation is more or less absolute. If there's a tricky situation to deal with, one where confrontation might result or, a deal they'd like to make might be broken they have a tendency to say anything that will resolve this. This could be the truth, a half truth or even a bare faced lie. Which of these it is makes no difference whatsoever. Telling the truth/ telling a lie (for a purpose, or to avoid confrontation) are moral equals. I know that many say all people are the same, those that suggest otherwise are talking out of ignorance. I suggest the opposite. Those who talk from experience are not ignorant. Those who accept that everyone is the same, having had little or no experience to back this up and believe this simply because someone has told them this are the ignorant ones. The important thing of course is that while every culture is different, none of them are bad. All cultures have good points, and bad points. It would therefore be wrong to say 'Asians are bad people because they are just as likely to lie as tell the truth'. But it would not be wrong to say that Asian people lie a lot, because that's the truth. A truth established through experience rather than ignorance.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 7:17:41 GMT
My children go to a school in inner east London which is predominantly populated by Bengalis and a few Somalis. I'm not that bothered about this as my kids are half wog anyway (the wogs start at Calais ) but one thing I do note is that the other parents are incredibly rude. Not in verbal ways but for example I hold a door for someone with a pram and anyone anywhere near tries to pile through the door in front of the person with the pram. Bloke opening the school gates. There are two gates. Why not let him open one then the other ? Oh no, pile in like animals and completely block him from getting to the other gate. IT WOULD BE BETTER FOR EVERYONE IF YOU LET HIM OPEN BOTH GATES !! It's quite tiring and grinds you down but I guess they have such rubbish lives they need to grab grab grab. I feel more sorry for them than annoyed. My view is that the kids might as well get to know these people as they have a massively higher birthrate so there will be more and more of them in general that's just how it is. Fortunately the youth are generally more polite so there is some hope for the future.
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 19, 2020 9:37:39 GMT
You can analyse 'Asians' all day, but if at the end of that day Abdul hasn't given you the money, you are still without that money.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 12:31:10 GMT
I try to live in entirely the opposite way.
I look forward ... try to always be positive and upbeat ... a smile can be infectious attitude.
Of course when bad stuff happens it's disappointing ... but I try to look for the positives and move on.
I've always felt that if something makes you unhappy , change it ... if it's beyond your control, then there's no point fixating or worrying about it.
Life is an occasion that we should always strive to rise to.
Rog
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 19, 2020 14:27:01 GMT
I try to live in entirely the opposite way. I look forward ... try to always be positive and upbeat ... a smile can be infectious attitude. Of course when bad stuff happens it's disappointing ... but I try to look for the positives and move on. I've always felt that if something makes you unhappy , change it ... if it's beyond your control, then there's no point fixating or worrying about it. Life is an occasion that we should always strive to rise to. Rog As did I. After a series of disappointments it's difficult to maintain this. Each disappointment is a knock. If you kept this going for long enough it would drive you mad. Expecting the disappointment is a coping mechanism and then, if something finally goes well, there's a reason to celebrate.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 14:47:26 GMT
How are you doing with 'Abdul' and his cash-in-hand transaction? Oh... I see! "It turns out his finance hasn't yet been approved." Well, that's something I didn't see coming! Telling the truth/ telling a lie (for a purpose, or to avoid confrontation) are moral equals. I always thought Tony Blair got a bum rap.
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Post by patty on Sept 19, 2020 15:12:04 GMT
Well sometimes when bad follows bad and then yet more horrible happens its inevitable that life can be viewed negatively. When I went through the worst, the people who really made me feel so lost were the 'friends n family' who would pull other folks tragedies out of a hat to compare so that I could 'see' there were always folk worse off. TBH I didn't give a dam about Mr or Mrs so and so's bad luck...my own was enough to struggle with. Its easy to be glib sometimes and advise positivity but dam difficult to do when bad follows bad and even when u think you have it right someone changes the goal posts. Its taken years to find positives in life and now occasionally I lose sight of that rainbow. I'm a believer that when you've hit that rock bottom there really is only one way to go...or stop where u are. I do understand how u feel but I do think it will improve..just keep on plodding and don't give in....
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 15:22:46 GMT
Life is shyte and then you get to live it.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 19, 2020 15:26:55 GMT
Now this is just a guess but you can't get a mortgage on a house with a bad survey report so you have to sell via a) auction or b) a cash buyer.
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Post by thebfg on Sept 19, 2020 15:27:22 GMT
It might be rubbish now, but when you finally move into your place and you're sat outside with a beer, I'm sure you will feel it was all worth it.
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Post by Clinton Cool on Sept 19, 2020 16:11:43 GMT
It might be rubbish now, but when you finally move into your place and you're sat outside with a beer, I'm sure you will feel it was all worth it. If that actually happens Seller is getting very impatient, threatening to take it off the market. Nothing I can do, if someone from Gwynedd council is sat at home on full pay because Covid makes it too dangerous to go to work hence delaying all the searches, that's it. Anyway it's not all bad. If it does fall through there's another one that takes my fancy. Also I've stuck with a ramping up of my fitness regime, so that's good.
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