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Post by lollygagger on Oct 15, 2019 9:34:45 GMT
As I lay there bruised, battered and broken in the wreckage of what used to be my car, the policeman looked at me, raised an eyebrow in a condescending manner and said, “been drinking, have we sir?”
“Yes”, I whispered.
“well next time, get a taxi instead of letting your wife drive”.
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Post by lollygagger on Oct 22, 2019 12:59:26 GMT
What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
I just found out I'm colour blind...the diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
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Post by Mr Stabby on Oct 25, 2019 19:40:21 GMT
I can't stand it when sad and inadequate folk set off fireworks in the middle of October.
One just frightened my cat so much that it ran up the Christmas tree.
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Joke Time
Oct 29, 2019 11:45:51 GMT
via mobile
Post by lollygagger on Oct 29, 2019 11:45:51 GMT
I’m off looking at a house with period features tomorrow.
She hates it when I call her that.
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Post by lollygagger on Oct 29, 2019 20:00:15 GMT
I was in bed with my new lady friend last night, and she said I’ve got the biggest and nicest willy ever
I said “You’re pulling my leg”
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Post by naughtyfox on Nov 11, 2019 8:57:59 GMT
Tragically, I lost my grandmother on the day of her 100th birthday.
Nothing to do with cancer but was particularly upsetting as we were only half way through giving her the bumps….
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Post by Mr Stabby on Dec 8, 2019 8:05:28 GMT
I've just got rid of my stairlift. It drove me up the wall.
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Post by lollygagger on Dec 17, 2019 21:20:40 GMT
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Joke Time
Dec 18, 2019 7:16:31 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Dec 18, 2019 7:16:31 GMT
I saw a snowman the other day, searching through a bag of carrots. "hello, what are you up to?" I asked, "Just picking my nose"
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Post by Jim on Dec 30, 2019 15:14:40 GMT
There was a young man from Peru Whose limerick stopped at line two
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Post by lollygagger on Dec 31, 2019 8:58:26 GMT
If everyone was allowed just one single mod action, I'd use mine to ban Jim from the joke thread.
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Post by Jim on Dec 31, 2019 9:30:36 GMT
If everyone was allowed just one single mod action, I'd use mine to ban Jim from the joke thread. Thanks, I'll get a badge printed and wear it with pride. Seeing as you liked that one... There was a young man from Dungannon.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Joke Time
Dec 31, 2019 9:34:46 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Dec 31, 2019 9:34:46 GMT
Do the one about the hermit called Dave.
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Post by Mr Stabby on Dec 31, 2019 9:36:12 GMT
If everyone was allowed just one single mod action, I'd use mine to ban Jim from the joke thread. I agree. Jim's jokes are no laughing matter.
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Post by Jim on Dec 31, 2019 9:50:06 GMT
If everyone was allowed just one single mod action, I'd use mine to ban Jim from the joke thread. I agree. Jim's jokes are no laughing matter. As I said afore Chacun a son gout.
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