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Post by JohnV on May 13, 2019 8:12:26 GMT
John sneaked away quietly from the mob working on the "New Punt Bar" He wanted nowt to do with that mob. What on earth was Patty thinking of getting that twit vapouring on about colours that John had never heard of and demanding "texture", what ever the hell that was when it was at home.
In John's book the correct colour scheme for a bar should dark nicotine walls with lighter nicotine ceilings tastefully draped with cobwebs, curtains should be faded rose patterned cotton and the seats should be faded red plush. He had been persuaded that this was old fashioned when building the original Thunderbar and had modernised it by changing the dark brown to a more modern shade of Sadolin "Dark Oak" and the ceiling to Wickes own brand Magnolia. He had even splashed out on a magnificent mahogany bar counter with brass fid and footrail and chintz curtains and stool covers. He sighed, there was just no pleasing some folk.
By then he had arrived at his secret hidden workshop that he hadn't even told his best mate Flappy about. After a quick check round to make sure there was no one (nor a pesky camera equipped mutt) following him, he unlocked the door and stepped into the darkened interior. As he re-locked the door behind, him a stray shaft of sunlight pierced the gloom and illuminated the sturdy frame of his latest endeavour .... a stealth punt.
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Post by phil70 on May 13, 2019 9:39:12 GMT
CRASH!! CLANG!! BOING!! CRASH!! A deafening din came from the direction of the cut, there in the middle of a heap of steel plate stood a scrawny scruffy character dressed in flappy shorts who was wielding a huge hammer in one hand and a gas axe in the other. Flappy worked like a dervish as he set about constructing a..... wait for it.... a stealth punt Flappy had been studying YouTube clips of stealth fighters and bombers and was determined to introduce the same technology to the cut. Slowly a crowd gathered to watch the manic little man working his magic. After a while Flappy was joined by his OPPO... John who was charged with the task of procuring and fitting a double layer of Chobham armour. Flappy hoped that the sleek curves of the new Thunder Punt would deflect incoming rounds in much the same way radar signals are deflected but should that fail the Chobham armour would do the job. As work continued the dynamic duo fitted a new power plant, a mighty Lister with a ..... Gazza Turbo!! Late into the night they worked amid smoke and showers of sparks, the crowd melted away and went to their beds. Fuelled by Gruntfuttocks there was no stopping the Dynamic Duo until finally as dawn broke the hull was finished all that was needed was the internal fit out. Flappy just wanted John to know he was a bit late to the party π
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Post by patty on May 13, 2019 16:34:38 GMT
What the lads did not realise was that Patty had no intention of allowing these individuals free rein...she had it all mapped out..the Unstable Bar that would rise from the ashes, Phoenix like would mirror the old except for a few minor 'improvements' and modifications. She knew just what would appeal to her friends. Why alter what worked?... Having all these folk giving free samples gave her stuff to sell....
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Post by JohnV on May 13, 2019 19:01:22 GMT
CRASH!! CLANG!! BOING!! CRASH!! A deafening din came from the direction of the cut, there in the middle of a heap of steel plate stood a scrawny scruffy character dressed in flappy shorts who was wielding a huge hammer in one hand and a gas axe in the other. Flappy worked like a dervish as he set about constructing a..... wait for it.... a stealth punt Flappy had been studying YouTube clips of stealth fighters and bombers and was determined to introduce the same technology to the cut. Slowly a crowd gathered to watch the manic little man working his magic. After a while Flappy was joined by his OPPO... John who was charged with the task of procuring and fitting a double layer of Chobham armour. Flappy hoped that the sleek curves of the new Thunder Punt would deflect incoming rounds in much the same way radar signals are deflected but should that fail the Chobham armour would do the job. As work continued the dynamic duo fitted a new power plant, a mighty Lister with a ..... Gazza Turbo!! Late into the night they worked amid smoke and showers of sparks, the crowd melted away and went to their beds. Fuelled by Gruntfuttocks there was no stopping the Dynamic Duo until finally as dawn broke the hull was finished all that was needed was the internal fit out. Flappy just wanted John to know he was a bit late to the party π Huh !!! John was not impressed .... everybody knew about Flappy's stealth punt .... so it wasn't really stealthy ..... Whereas Johns super secret squirrel stealth punt was a secret from everyone (and every dog) ...... so yah boo sucks !!!
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Post by patty on May 13, 2019 19:38:25 GMT
Flappy just wanted John to know he was a bit late to the party π Huh !!! John was not impressed .... everybody knew about Flappy's stealth punt .... so it wasn't really stealthy ..... Whereas Johns super secret squirrel stealth punt was a secret from everyone (and every dog) ...... so yah boo sucks !!! Patty knew John woz up to summit..all this stealth n sneaking around..... she'd keep her eye on him....the jangly bits on his jacket were like a cows bell and tracking him would be simples
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Post by peterboat on May 13, 2019 21:00:37 GMT
peter was watching from afar currently Patty and the girls [snigger] were building the new unstable bar and Peter wasnt liking what he saw, Flappy and John were both building super stealth punts!! and all the time the super punt was sitting there, admittedly its cloak of invisibility made it difficult to see but it had everything the boys could desire including the fully stocked bar...........................
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Post by phil70 on May 13, 2019 22:09:47 GMT
Meanwhile being unable to find John, Flappy decided to phone John in the knowledge that John being of a suspicious nature would not pick up but just let it ring out. All Flappy had to do was track down the ringing and bobs yer uncle and voila there would be John. So listening carefully for John's ringtone (welcome to the house of fun) in no time at all Flappy located John and called to attract his attention. Coo-ee John, with no response sooΓ²o next came COO-EE,JOHN followed by JOHN GET YOUR BONES OUT HERE!!!!!! A door creaked open and out of the glΓ²om stepped a rotund figure with plasma cutter in one hand and a chuffing great hammer in the other. "Wadda ya want, I'm busy" said John rather grumpily Flappy smiled brightly and said "Do ya want a hand mate, I've got some shore leave from Mrs Flappy" " it would be a shame to waste it"
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Post by metanoia on May 18, 2019 17:44:48 GMT
"Clang -ee!"
Wow, gurls - fab dΓ©cor x
Just managed to sneak past the stealth punt (he! he!) by way of the crafty creeper (the young offshoot of Winn's terrible tendrils) and wanted to put up a few buckets for poor Mrs BB who's had to put up with a couple of weeks of silly season boaters.
A vat for Patty, too - know what that internet interference feels like - it's not nice to say the least x.
GO ON, THEN, as it IS the weekend - bar person thingy set them up all round ...........
(Clang, clan, claβ¦. metal fatigue β¦.. need β¦.WD40 β¦β¦
xx
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Post by Trina on May 18, 2019 20:01:48 GMT
Woooooo hoooooo,Met had arrived & the gurls were ready for drunkie drinkie poos & a good goss !Mrs B B wanted advice about getting rid of anti social boats at locks,Patty wanted advice on reclaiming her identity & Met...she just wanted to make sure visitors knew where the facilities were!The new decor in the bar was sooooo comfy(for gurls),that they settled down for even more drinks & even more gossip about the boys(snigger).
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Post by Deleted on May 18, 2019 21:01:56 GMT
Winn's "terrible tendrils" actually belonged to Mr Wyndham but never mind! ....sigh, deja vu, blind all over again.
at least the flame thrower was the correct weapon, even if a trifle accidental.
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Post by phil70 on May 18, 2019 22:47:24 GMT
KINELL thought Flappy, the gurls (snigger) have overrun the place. Flappy was having to keep shaking his scrawny legs to keep the pesky tendrils from getting a grip on him. 'Triffic he thought or should it be Triffid, I blame that pesky House of Horrors, thought Patty was well shot of it but this is like the second coming. Flappy was desperately seeking John or Peter or in fact anybody of the male persuasion because he was A. in dire need of a Gruntfuttocks and B.in dire need of some much wanted backup.. Making his way to the Punt Flappy was eventually able to get into the fire control station for his beloved Phalanx gun. Lovingly he stroked it and whispered sweet nothings to it. There is no greater love than a man has for his favourite weapon (or tool) Flappy had been known to talk to his pet hammer
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Post by JohnV on May 19, 2019 5:41:27 GMT
John cautiously raised the heavily camouflaged hatch of his fallout shelter. Having made sure there were no spying eyes in the neighbourhood, he emerged slowly into the dull grey light of a British summer's morning.
"I must increase the Gruntfuttock stock in these shelters" he muttered to himself "that's three of the emergency hideouts need re-stocking already" As he was muttering, he carefully rearranged the foliage over the hatch hiding it from view.
He set off cautiously along the towpath towards the hidden boatshed that contained the stealth punt. His mind fully occupied by the problem of re-stocking all the hideouts with an increased quantity of Gruntfuttocks Finest. "Let's see now, that's daily quantity times days hiding ..... errrm .... times number of hidey holes" (During his journey through life, he had learned that, where women are concerned, a man always needed more than one garden shed)
"Oh, of course Flappy might need to escape as well so that's the daily quantity times two times the days hiding times two times the number of hidey holes times two" he paused..... this was turning into a really hard bit of rithmatix
"Hmmmm maybe if I start with a truck full and see how that goes" Cheered by this simple solution he grinned and trotted along the path, spotting a sign of movement in the Phalanx gun turret, his grin turned into a full beam "Wotcha Flappy me old mate, hows tricks ?" he called out.
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Post by patty on May 19, 2019 6:19:49 GMT
The rebuild and makeover of the Unstable Bar slowly progressed under the watchful eye of Patty...the girls corner already complete..one has to ensure priority of pecking order in these tasks. Besides she was well aware that 'men caves' existed and although not 100% certain where Johns latest little project was being worked on she'd find out. It all came to those who patiently watched and waited...something would expose him. As to the green tentacles she'd set up a sacrificial zone around the Bar and none would enter... Now to plan the blokey corner...she thought the gurls could all put suggestions in a hat and they'd pick n mix.....This could be fun........
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Post by peterboat on May 19, 2019 10:06:43 GMT
Peter and Taff appeared on the super punt, Hugo didnt not that Taff was bothered Hugo had somehow gone to the new bar, where he was causing chaos as usual, already the new curtains were ripped to shreds the ladders had gone over and paint was everywhere!! The gurls were trying to catch him without luck, every attempt just made the mess worse, in the middle of this the boys arrived took one look and agreed that Patty and the gurls had done a fine job, in fact it was a bigger mess than the old bar and that took some doing, the old furniture was overjoyed by the return of the boys and went running all over the place as well, adding to the chaos! John wisely muttered under his breath home sweet home........................................
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Post by phil70 on Jun 5, 2019 22:38:03 GMT
Flappy wanted to run his latest idea past John and Peter. Cough Cough Flappy cleared his throat and called for silence (or at least keep it down to a dull roar) So now we have the Super Punt complete with armament and armour along with many many gadgets and gizmos plus the Mighty Lister had the addition of a Gazza Turbo. We also have 2 stealth punts so Flappy proposed more stealth punts fitting one inside the other like a Russian doll. Flappy hope this would give them some redundancy in case we fall foul of enemy action. So all the boys had to do was stock the bar with proper booze and not that GURLY stuff the laydeez were so fond of. Flappy suggested that Peter should take over the beverage purchases as he could time warp back to a time when there was thriving market and low costs
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