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Post by JohnV on Jan 12, 2022 11:57:23 GMT
John was so excited when he spotted the advert for the engine that he (nearly) spilt his flagon of Gruntfuttocks Finest.
He took a quick peek in his piggy bank,
Hmmmmfff !!! He would need additional funds for this one, but what a bargain.
Ten minutes later he was banging on Flappy's matrimonial retreat garden shed.
Flappy checked through the peephole and seeing a glimpse of a canvas jacket with funny leather straps, opened the door.
John burst in excitedly and started gabbling out the details of the engine he had found.
Vee engine turbo charged with intercooler normally two of them powered an Target Towing Launch
"Fully overhauled to as new for the Royal Navy and then stored for yearsandyearsandata1000Hpwillpushthepuntalonglikearocketand beingsoldforonly a tenth!! ofthecostoftheoverhaul" John slowly came to a stop and paused for a moment looking intently at Flappy. "Only problem is I haven't quite got enough in the kitty for it, so I would need a sub" He looked hopefully at Flappy who cringed and reached protectively for his purse. John continued slowly "I can manage the Β£995 and 95 pence but I would need a little assistance with the rest"
Flappy grew pale, his hands spasmed and he clutched his purse so tightly that the moths were terrified.
"How much little assistance" he asked in a faint trembling voice.
"Just the other Β£9,000" said John
Flappy fainted clean away
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Post by JohnV on Jan 15, 2022 11:46:05 GMT
John had had a couple of days of high quality sulking after the telling off he got from Patty and Trina who had revived Flappy from his fainting fit. As they were nursing "the poor dear" Flappy had taken full advantage of the situation and layed it on with a trowel. (not realising that the drinks bill they would expect to be paid "as thanks" probably would be nearly as painfull as the proposed loan to John)
He sat on an old oil drum looking despondantly at the geriatric and semi invilid ex glorious mighty Lister and sighed. There had to be some way to provide motive power to the punt, Peter and Flappy's prattling about electrickery was all very well but there had been no new ideas produced since Peter's interference with the experimental electrickery driven, wind generated, perpetual motion super trike.
That was the problem, getting the electrickery. He had tried sneaking up to Asda's carpark with an incredibly long extension lead and plugging into one of the free charging spots but had ended up by nearly being arrested and was now permanently banned from Asda stores in the area.
Anyway after the experimental try He had disliked the method .... it took ages to twist the ends of the wires lengths together to make up the three quarter of a mile extension cable needed and it used up a whole reel of his limited store of insulting tape.
Apart from anything else unless there was some major investment in the battery bank, it would only run the boat for about 10 minutes. He gazed glumly at the rack of verdigris covered ex WWII midget submarine batteries that were the punts electrickery store.
Much as he hated to admit it Peter was probably right about needing to eventually go electr....... Hold that thought !!!
He scratched his head (and other parts) and then dug out his notepad and an indelible pencil he had pinched from Flappy's tool kit and began to sketch.
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Post by metanoia on Jan 15, 2022 19:13:06 GMT
Clang!
What's with these inedible pencils you lot seem so keen on?
If it's electrickery we need why have we been wasting all these years trying to track down Big Red?
Surely our mission now should be to seek out the master of all electrickery..... where IS BattWeazle?
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Post by phil70 on Jan 16, 2022 14:46:46 GMT
WOO-HOO!! exclaimed Flappy, yes why didn't we think of that before, BattWeazle the result of an unlikely coupling of Catweazle and Batwoman who was out on the lash one night and got completely legless, and in this condition she most definately wore the world's finest beer goggles. Batwoman fancied a bit of rough when she bumped (literally) into Catweazle and thought to herself "he'll do" and so it was, the outcome needs no explanation and the resulting(revolting) son was born. Anyway as it happened he had an enormous brain and knew everything about everything so surely would be able to sort out the minor (to him) problem of electrickery for the Thunder Punt. Metal Lady ordered Flappy and John to arrange to project a huge Batt signal into the sky which they did and then sat back and waited for some sort of result
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Post by metanoia on Jan 16, 2022 19:44:45 GMT
...and a further order of an additional five inedible pencils, a quart of WD40 and plenty of JD whilst we discuss this, please... and wait ... and wait ....
eta - not forgetting many flagons of Gruntfuttocks, vats of Merlot, buckets of RustyRats and ice buckets full of Limonchello, please, while you're there, Flappy...
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Post by Trina on Jan 16, 2022 19:58:47 GMT
Did someone mention Rusty Rats Tail ??π€ Mrs BB surfaced from under the table where she'd been since New Year.She was ready for an adventure with her girlie pals & they were deffo needed to keep the 'boys' in order.She called for Big Barney who was snoozing by her drinking bucket.Being a well trained-if rather thick cat,he picked up the handle & carried it to the bar for a re-fill.He was hoping that Patty might have some prawns for him in her special handbag... Meanwhile,he cosied up to Metal Lady just in case she had something he might like such as prawns,crayfish tails or tuna.He'd do anything for some tasty fishy bits & his brain power increased after a fishy feast...πΌπ½πΌ
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Post by JohnV on Jan 17, 2022 8:38:16 GMT
John was confussed, in fact even more confussed than his normal state of confussion, which let's face it was pretty thoroughly confussed.
He couldn't exactly place this character that Flappy was harping on about, an enourmous brain and knows everything about everything .... hmmmmm !!!
Maybe it was that incredibly tall bloke, the one with the big head that one heard of being ferried round inside
(inside because apparently sightings of him on the helm were so rare as to be legendary, because he was so tall he had trouble with bridge heights) inside (as I said) a barge with a funny bow and covered in stuck on washers ...... Hmmmmmmm !!! (for a second time this morning!)
"Wotever" John muttered under his breath "bet it's me that will be doing the donkey work and getting grubby in the bilges"
But anyway back to the problem how do you catch someone you don't know, who may or may not be on a boat or in a plane or even (turns and spits) in a caravan.
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Post by phil70 on Jan 19, 2022 23:28:36 GMT
Flappy said "A Ha" as he'd had an epiphany moment and spoke just one word to John.... "MEKON" now this character had an enormous head and tiny body, so much so that he had to move around on a sort of miniature flying saucer. His brain was a humungous size and he could easily take on Big Blue at anything and win. Flappy stood back and awaited a reaction from his buddy in the white canvas be-buckled jacket
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Post by JohnV on Jan 20, 2022 9:16:25 GMT
Most of what Flappy was talking about was going straight over John's head ..... "Who the Hell is this Big Blue character" ? he thought but there was one word that struck a chord, and sent shivers down his back, the name of the arch enemy of his childhood hero.
Memories of crouching next to the magic box, bathed in the warm orange glow of it's enchanted interior, listening carefully to the crackling and fading 208 metre signal. on tightly clutched headphones.
Listening to the dastardly deeds of his hero's dreadful enemies and the name of the most terrible of them all.
The struggle to collect sufficient tokens (even begging neighbours to contribute) posting them off to a far distant land and waiting, and waiting with baited breath each time he saw the postman cycling down the road ...... eventually the parcel arrived with all it's long awaited delights, most of which had disappeared in the ravages of the many decades that had passed.
John slid his hand into the pocket that held his most important belongings among all the other things that might come in usefull one day. His fingers sorted through his treasures, Screws with no slot, Nuts with no thread, a couple of bolts with left hand threads, bits of twine, a packet of long forgotten Spangles ..... eventually his fingers contacted the Talisman, the only surviving treasure that had arrived from that long distant lcountry all those many, many decades ago.
He withdrew his hand, clenched tightly round the small battered disc, flickering memories of days of bravely wearing it pinned to his chest and then gradually hiding it away and hoarding it for some distant future when it's power would be needed. A terrible need came upon him to retain this last item of power but with a great effort and steely will he offered it to his bestest mate who was standing looking at him with a puzzled expression.
Flappy was puzzled, he had never seen John act in such a strange fashion, not just slowly and hesitantly but in total silence.
He carefully accepted the little battered item from John's hand, John slumped slightly as he did so.
Flappy carefully turned the battered little thing over and he could make out in faded red, a picture of a rocket ship and and the battered writing round the edge
"Dan Dare Club Member"
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Post by metanoia on Jan 20, 2022 21:21:19 GMT
"Clang!"
Look, Big Barney at what Auntie MetalWoman has found for you - a rusty little battered red tin thing that could well be full of sardines, pilchards, anchovies or ..........
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Post by Trina on Jan 21, 2022 17:23:19 GMT
Tuna tuna,please say it's tuna ! Big Barney would be ready for anything & be anybody's for tuna...or even better,prawns !π»π½π»
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