|
|
Post by sabcat on Mar 28, 2018 19:18:25 GMT
My old dear's not doing so great at the whole living on her own thing since my dad died so we've sold the boat, her place and bought somewhere with an annex for keeping old ladies in. Never really imagined coming off the cut tbh but it's either that or watch her go downhill and end up in a home and that's not happening so... Well you may be a cloud-headed mad anarchist but at least you have a heart! Good on you for looking out for your mum. It is a difficult time I’m sure. My mum is 95 and still compus mentis and in her own home, but she is getting a pretty frail. What with us living 450 miles away and my only sibling being very disabled, I am starting to feel the guilt. My mom's still in good health and still all there, she's just really not enjoying living alone and doesn't really have perspective on stuff. Comes from being of that generation where "the man of the house" dealt with everything. Now my dad's gone she's 70 and not adapting well in some ways. In other ways she's doing great, volunteers looking after people with learning disabilities, gets out a lot. Really simple stuff gets her down she's getting subtly worse rather than better. The only thing that worries me is that she and the girlfriend (we've been together for over 20 years and she used to work with my mom) get on with each other better than either of them get on with me. I suspect I'm going to get ganged up on a lot. In many ways we're lucky. Not many people are in a position to do this even if they need to. |
|
|
|
Post by Trina on Mar 28, 2018 19:27:20 GMT
Good luck Sabcat,nice to hear folk still caring about family & I love the idea of you being ganged up on😄.
|
|
|
|
Post by naughtyfox on Mar 28, 2018 19:35:35 GMT
Sorry to here that honestly you havent been posting for ages on either channel. Hows the VW camper? I am selling the Astro as I was given a Lucida and it fits the bill better. I've had a properly busy 12 months with work and life in general. I banned myself from the other place. I just couldn't be doing with the moderation policies there. Not even looked at it since the day I went and I never will again. This place seemed like a good idea and I googled something boat related today and this popped up in the results and it pleased me no end to see that it's not only still here but thriving. Really it's just normal people here who don't have a broomstick up their jacksies. I spent the first year laughing my head off. And then the second year having to go round deleting most of my posts to make it look more respectable. There's a lot of nonsense here, but also many very, very good posts/threads. Did u know there's a Thunderboat calendar? photos.app.goo.gl/iL55sAAbX06GUyCo1 |
|
|
|
Post by Telemachus on Mar 28, 2018 19:49:33 GMT
Well you may be a cloud-headed mad anarchist but at least you have a heart! Good on you for looking out for your mum. It is a difficult time I’m sure. My mum is 95 and still compus mentis and in her own home, but she is getting a pretty frail. What with us living 450 miles away and my only sibling being very disabled, I am starting to feel the guilt. My mom's still in good health and still all there, she's just really not enjoying living alone and doesn't really have perspective on stuff. Comes from being of that generation where "the man of the house" dealt with everything. Now my dad's gone she's 70 and not adapting well in some ways. In other ways she's doing great, volunteers looking after people with learning disabilities, gets out a lot. Really simple stuff gets her down she's getting subtly worse rather than better. The only thing that worries me is that she and the girlfriend (we've been together for over 20 years and she used to work with my mom) get on with each other better than either of them get on with me. I suspect I'm going to get ganged up on a lot. In many ways we're lucky. Not many people are in a position to do this even if they need to. It is perhaps quite soon for her to have adapted (although I note your point about getting worse). When my dad was alive he was definitely the man of the house, ran a business etc, and mother was "the little woman" but he died quite young, she was about 60. She had been married 25 years and had us 2 kids etc and when he died he left a big overdraft, no pension and not much info about the business. But she picked herself up and got on with it. And gradually became strong and self-determining. So now, 35 years later, she has been widowed for a lot longer than she was married but doesn't seem to mind living alone and in fact I used to try to get her to have a gentleman friend but she said she couldn't countenance the idea of having to live with somebody again! She did a lot of "good works" in the town when she was younger - volunteered in a youth club in the 60s and 70s, was a part time speech therapist working in the local schools, and latterly a magistrate. Generally spent her life helping others. Even the folk she "sent down" seem to really respect and like her. She is always out partying and at social events and if she is ever in difficulty people are queuing up to help her. Something about karma / reaping what you sow!
Anyway my point is that perhaps your mum just needs a bit of time to find herself as her own person, as opposed to someone's wife? If you take over as the man of the house, that maybe won't happen. So tread softly!
|
|
