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Post by larkboy on Oct 20, 2016 22:38:13 GMT
It's a real toughie and I sympathise. Do remember it's your day and should be free to enjoy it......me, I'd be firm, but since I recovered from going bang I'm quite happy to tell anyone to fuck off if they're making me unhappy. Sorry, not much help, but like I said, I really do sympathise.
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Post by tex on Oct 20, 2016 22:53:00 GMT
Get the guy alone and tell him straight, that due to the stress of the day you don't need a drunk around to cause potential problems. It just may embarrass or shock him enough to stay away.Or he may go off on one. Either way it could sow a seed in his mind that he has an obvious problem.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2016 23:29:45 GMT
BTW Gazza think you will find the law has moved on a bit. They will arrest without the wife's evidence, charge and convict on the basis police evidence alone in domestic cases. They woke up to the wife is her own worst enemy bit. Thats good news, my run in with pond life was 10 years ago.
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Post by rockdodger on Oct 21, 2016 0:12:10 GMT
Agree with JohnV, but one thought that might help. Tell him and sister that visitors for safety reason are not allowed within a 100 feet of the crane or water's edge. Only thing I can think of, sorry not more help I like this solution! say the boatyard only just told you. So sorry and all that..... Additional possibility (or even additionally) is that "due to safety reasons (HSE etc) no alcohol is allowed on the site during the delivery & lifting process"
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Post by PaulG2 on Oct 21, 2016 0:18:38 GMT
I like this solution! say the boatyard only just told you. So sorry and all that..... Additional possibility (or even additionally) is that "due to safety reasons (HSE etc) no alcohol is aloud during the delivery & lifting process" That's a good idea, but keeping the booze silent might not make the point. Perhaps he should be told that alcohol is prohibited during craning operations. (If he was told that in advance, he might even decide not to go to the launching.)
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Post by rockdodger on Oct 21, 2016 0:30:17 GMT
Additional possibility (or even additionally) is that "due to safety reasons (HSE etc) no alcohol is aloud during the delivery & lifting process" That's a good idea, but keeping the booze silent might not make the point. Perhaps he should be told that alcohol is prohibited during craning operations. (If he was told that in advance, he might even decide not to go to the launching.) Hi Paul, you must have been typing as I was correcting😊. Anyway the main thing is for the launch of "Ellis" to be as smooth & stress free as possible without some dork pucking it up for Quaysider & Andy.
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Post by PaulG2 on Oct 21, 2016 4:55:03 GMT
That's a good idea, but keeping the booze silent might not make the point. Perhaps he should be told that alcohol is prohibited during craning operations. (If he was told that in advance, he might even decide not to go to the launching.) Hi Paul, you must have been typing as I was correcting😊. Anyway the main thing is for the launch of "Ellis" to be as smooth & stress free as possible without some dork pucking it up for Quaysider & Andy. I don't go around playing grammar police, but it's not beneath me to twist an obvious malapropism just for fun now and then. I actually think you had a great idea. If alcohol is prohibited for safety reasons, something totally beyond Quaysider's control, the sot could very well change his mind and decide not to go. He's not going to want to stand around all day with nothing to drink. Sis and the twins can go and it'll be nice family day.
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Post by quaysider on Oct 21, 2016 5:17:44 GMT
Some great helpful suggestions there chaps - alas, the "booze free zone one" is VERY unlikely to be believed... reason being, the Stanley Ferry pub IS at the same place - ergo, less than 100 foot from where it'll be happening lol.
I have in the past, tackled him on this issue (the drink not the boat) - it was one Sunday morning when they'd stayed over and he got up about 10.30 and as I was putting a cup of tea in his hand, he opened the fridge and helped himself to a beer. This wasn't a holiday occasion or anything other than they'd come to collect the kids who'd been staying with us.
The whole family "ignore" the issue ... to the point of making excuses for his behaviour - the kids know they have somewhere to escape to( albeit not an easy escape) and THEY know their dads an alcoholic. When he's had a few, they get less tolerant of him and answer back more and more these days...
Anyway - that's for them to sort out.
John probably has hit the nail on the head in that I'll be such a panic head running around, I probably wont notice if the queen turned up!
I've just hit "transfer" and sent the 1st 10k (gulp) to begin the final payment stages ... we're off to the yard tomorrow afternoon for our maiden voyage /handover run and then have to sit patiently until Thursday lunchtime and hope everyone does their bit.
I'm not the least bit preoccupied with it all I promise lol.
"hey ho... hey ho... it's off to work I go"
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Post by rockdodger on Oct 21, 2016 5:24:38 GMT
Hi Paul, you must have been typing as I was correcting😊. Anyway the main thing is for the launch of "Ellis" to be as smooth & stress free as possible without some dork pucking it up for Quaysider & Andy. I don't go around playing grammar police, but it's not beneath me to twist an obvious malapropism just for fun now and then. I actually think you had a great idea. If alcohol is prohibited for safety reasons, something totally beyond Quaysider's control, the sot could very well change his mind and decide not to go. He's not going to want to stand around all day with nothing to drink. Sis and the twins can go and it'll be nice family day. No problem, once I posted I saw my typo (touch keyboard on tablet), but you beat me to the draw. Further to the "no alcohol" safety issue, if played correctly, once the boat has been launched, crane & workers have left, the celebratory champagne etc can be brought out - "well now the workers have gone their safety requirements dont apply" hopefully either the sot wont have come or will still be sober - cunning bastard aren't I 😊
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Post by patty on Oct 21, 2016 6:09:16 GMT
Having your boat craned in is one of the most scary things I saw. I thought she'd fall, the crane's alarm thingy went off..crane driver had very smiley face that kept smiling come what may..that scared me..then I thought she would sink It was also one of the proudest moments of my life cos Id done this...just me..I didn't even tell any of my oh so critical family until she was in the water. I did blog about it but family never read my writing.
So thats me..now you This is your day, and if you want this day for just you 2 thats what it should be. Play any card..I like the H and S one..because tbh you don't need more than you two..it isn't safe to have lots around particularly someone who drinks. But even if you go down the politics route and have them you won't notice they are there.. Good luck
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Post by Graham on Oct 21, 2016 8:52:11 GMT
The trouble is until alcoholics admit and believe they have a problem there is nothing anyone can do to help them.
Good on you for giving the children a bolt hole.
I wonder if he has ever been violent?
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Post by quaysider on Oct 21, 2016 16:45:22 GMT
The trouble is until alcoholics admit and believe they have a problem there is nothing anyone can do to help them. Good on you for giving the children a bolt hole. I wonder if he has ever been violent? more aggressive than violent - certainly in plain sight. He'll over react to the kids when they're larking around and belittle both them and his wife... not the sort of behavior I'm comfortable being around... no one challenges him - which is against the way I'm programmed.... luckily ( I suppose) he ends most days in a drunnken stuper at which point it's too pissed to be dangerous if you follow. I've emailed Andy's parents and asked if they might deter his sister from bringing him ... they share my opinion pretty much so we'll see if they are able to influence the outcome. I'm pretty much resigned to dealing with it but having threatened to tell him, DO feel I really DO need to now . We've already agreed no one is borrowing or even driving the boat ... along the lines of the insurance being only in our names etc. I am not having him touching our tiller! - and relax...
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Post by Graham on Oct 21, 2016 17:02:15 GMT
Ye most of all relax
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Post by PaulG2 on Oct 21, 2016 17:04:43 GMT
The trouble is until alcoholics admit and believe they have a problem there is nothing anyone can do to help them. Good on you for giving the children a bolt hole. I wonder if he has ever been violent? more aggressive than violent - certainly in plain sight. He'll over react to the kids when they're larking around and belittle both them and his wife... not the sort of behavior I'm comfortable being around... no one challenges him - which is against the way I'm programmed.... luckily ( I suppose) he ends most days in a drunnken stuper at which point it's too pissed to be dangerous if you follow. I've emailed Andy's parents and asked if they might deter his sister from bringing him ... they share my opinion pretty much so we'll see if they are able to influence the outcome. I'm pretty much resigned to dealing with it but having threatened to tell him, DO feel I really DO need to now . We've already agreed no one is borrowing or even driving the boat ... along the lines of the insurance being only in our names etc. I am not having him touching our tiller!
- and relax... That one's easy. When you're first showing him the boat, point to the tiller and say, "... and this is one of our favorite sex toys, which also comes in handy for steering the boat." Guaranteed he won't ever go anywhere near your tiller.
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Post by quaysider on Oct 21, 2016 17:18:48 GMT
more aggressive than violent - certainly in plain sight. He'll over react to the kids when they're larking around and belittle both them and his wife... not the sort of behavior I'm comfortable being around... no one challenges him - which is against the way I'm programmed.... luckily ( I suppose) he ends most days in a drunnken stuper at which point it's too pissed to be dangerous if you follow. I've emailed Andy's parents and asked if they might deter his sister from bringing him ... they share my opinion pretty much so we'll see if they are able to influence the outcome. I'm pretty much resigned to dealing with it but having threatened to tell him, DO feel I really DO need to now . We've already agreed no one is borrowing or even driving the boat ... along the lines of the insurance being only in our names etc. I am not having him touching our tiller!
- and relax... That one's easy. When you're first showing him the boat, point to the tiller and say, "... and this is one of our favorite sex toys, which also comes in handy for steering the boat."
Guaranteed he won't ever go anywhere near your tiller. BRILLIANT!!!
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