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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2022 16:16:32 GMT
Bloke told me a joke about a low flying plane but it went right over my head.
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Post by Mr Stabby on Aug 27, 2022 20:33:06 GMT
Sam and I went to the Chinese take-away in Brinklow this evening, they've put their prices up again and said their electricity bill had doubled.
I said "Don't you ever turn a few of the lights off?" and he said "No, but we do dim sum".
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Post by naughtyfox on Aug 27, 2022 21:55:23 GMT
Nuneaton Working Men's Club went on a mystery tour. They had a sweepstake to guess where they were going, and the bus driver won fifty three quid.
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Joke Time
Sept 7, 2022 16:07:26 GMT
via mobile
Jim likes this
Post by thebfg on Sept 7, 2022 16:07:26 GMT
Doggy is the most popular position for married couples.
The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
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Post by Isambard Kingdom Brunel on Sept 7, 2022 16:53:39 GMT
Nuneaton Working Men's Club went on a mystery tour. They had a sweepstake to guess where they were going, and the bus driver won fifty three quid. That joke is so old it has fur on it. The first time I heard that I nearly dropped my bottle.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2022 17:00:47 GMT
Bernard Manning. The best never equalled.
"If you don't like it then fuck off"
Proper comedian.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 7, 2022 17:06:22 GMT
Man says to his wife: ‘Pack your bags, I’ve won the pools.’ She says: ‘What should I pack? Something light, something warm? Where are we going?’ He says: ‘We’re going nowhere. Just pack your bags and fuck off.’
--
I expect the woke idiots have knocked all this sort of thing on the head. Shame.
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 7, 2022 20:12:37 GMT
Nuneaton Working Men's Club went on a mystery tour. They had a sweepstake to guess where they were going, and the bus driver won fifty three quid. That joke is so old it has fur on it. The first time I heard that I nearly dropped my bottle. When are you going to buy your dad a plane ticket home?
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 8, 2022 20:33:08 GMT
"Knock! Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Not Queen Elizabeth II!"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2022 8:10:08 GMT
Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman meet a mermaid on a beach.
They approach her and the Englishman asks "Have you ever been kissed?" "No" was her reply so he kissed her.
Scotsman asks "Have you ever been fondled?" "No" was her reply so he fondled her.
Irishman asks "Have you ever been fucked?" "No" was her reply "Well you are now the tides gone out!"
(Bernard Manning again)
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Post by Mr Stabby on Nov 2, 2022 21:10:28 GMT
Shania says she is leaving me because of my obsession with processed ground pork products and anagrams, which is difficult to assuage.
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Post by metanoia on Nov 2, 2022 21:24:09 GMT
Shania says she is leaving me because of my obsession with processed ground pork products and anagrams, which is difficult to assuage. She might forgive you if you don't prick' em ..
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Joke Time
Nov 2, 2022 21:28:31 GMT
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Nov 2, 2022 21:28:31 GMT
I always thought Shania had an inflated opinion of herself.
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Joke Time
Dec 25, 2022 9:44:29 GMT
via mobile
Post by on Dec 25, 2022 9:44:29 GMT
little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer. “Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop.“Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?” “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back garden is right next to a Golf course.
A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower Garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers.
Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., mate! Give me £20, or off it comes.’
“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck!
Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”
“Not everybody pays.
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Post by Mr Stabby on Jan 7, 2023 16:40:06 GMT
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