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Post by JohnV on Aug 26, 2021 15:57:04 GMT
There was a strange "pop" sound and John and the punt gun disappeared from under the Drone. Confused it began circling and calling for assistance from all the other drones. Soon the air was black with hundreds of Drones forming a panicking globe of confused robotic brains. soon all the existing Drones in the whole continuum were circling in a tight ball formation.
Two very loud "pops" and on the ground below, John and Flappy appeared. John with his extra large punt gun and Flappy with his favourite turret mounted twin rail gun Instantly the air was full of flying projectiles and the armada of Drones were suddenly a heap of smouldering fragments on the ground.
The gruesome twosome, faces black with powder smoke grinned at one another, It had been an expensive excercise getting the Coate Faerie on board and had only been possible because as he had said, Peter's world had sucked all the fun and excitement out of things.
The Coate Faerie (ably assisted by the occasional table, bar person thingy and the pretty Italian waitress (who had finally found out what Peter had done to "her" Capri and was very much not happy) had been carrying out the other part of their cunning plan plan. By some strange method known only to Coate Faeries and other members of that clan, The Council of Peter's perfect world together with Peter himself had been trapped in a time loop, a sort of "ground hog day" effect.
The pretty Italian waitress had first ensured there were absolutel no time travel devices on in or around Peter or in the posession of any of the Council members apart from one small device with a very limited life span which she immediately used to return to "her" Capri.
The occasional table using it's shape shifting ability had changed into a high security drawings safe and convinced the Council that all the plans and drawings for Drones should be carefully be locked away in his drawers. He then prompltly morphed into a log fire and incinerated them
The Coate Faerie, the Barperson thingy and the occasional table had then using some strange secret method only known to Coate Faeries, had then slipped into a parallel universe (which looked just like the pre covid world they remembered) together with an Unstable Bar MkIII bringing with them Flappy and John and all the other regulars. Flappy was carefully looking round and counting heads "where's Patty, Trina and Freya" he asked. "Don't worry" said the Bar Person Thingy "they have been re-directed and should be here soon" "Clank clank" said the Metal Woman happily
John turned to the Coate Faerie who was thumbing through The Book of the Rules which to John's eyes seemed to have got substantially bigger "Will Peter be able to make trouble again ?" he asked. The Coate Faerie grinned "If he manages to escape the loop and find which one of an infinite number of parallel worlds we have moved to ..... then probably" He smiled "Don't worry, I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve to make sure he doesn't get out of hand again"
At that moment there was a bright flash, a loud bang and a cloud of scented smoke and a magic carpet bearing Freya accompanied by a very large bulging handbag and a happily smiling Patty and Trina appeared. "Yoohoo" Trina warbled waving her extra large size Rusty Rat's tail bucket
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Post by peterboat on Aug 26, 2021 16:58:42 GMT
Smiling the gang went outside the bar to have a celebration drink to discover they were still in Peters world, the other worlds didnt exist as Peter in the 1500s had made sure they didnt after getting all the tech he wanted. The robots were still there after all they were indestructible and the happy people that had never known war or disease were still there. John looked at Flappy and exclaimed "bugger didnt you check the future?" Flappy said yes it looked just like this I told you, not like the time before where we are all dead and the earth had been killed by idiots with guns and oil!" "Oh" said John "I got it the wrong way around" ........................................
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Post by JohnV on Aug 26, 2021 17:32:33 GMT
The Coate Fairie turned round grinned evily and turned Peter into a toad.
Turning back to the shocked crowd or regulars he said "don't worry normal service will be resumed shortly I told you I had plenty of tricks up my sleeve" A large heron landed nearby and started eying Peter the toad hungrily ....
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Post by JohnV on Aug 26, 2021 17:41:29 GMT
Peter please stop proselytizing in this thread, I believe you are destroying the unstable bar.
It is a fantasy world where different authors cause it to wander down many strange and unpredictable routes.
Forcing it to follow only your views and directions is killing it.
I am fairly certain that this view is reflected by others and is not just mine alone
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Post by patty on Aug 27, 2021 16:16:56 GMT
Patty had not finished with the magic carpet..having discovered the delights of surfing clouds collecting rainbow sparkles she decided to have a longer trip to check out what lay beyond the crimson clouds surrounding a distant volcano. Leaving BB to enjoy her bucket of Rats Tail she loaded the White Wolf on board and waving farewell to her friends zipped up and beyond....
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Post by JohnV on Aug 27, 2021 18:08:25 GMT
John watched Patty disappear, John grinned and wafted away the scented smoke that drifted gently by. "That's some Jaloppy Flappy old mate" he said. "Ha !!!" said Flappy "It won't be a patch on the new model super trike that I've been drawing up the plans for" ("plans" thought John "scribbles on an old envelope more like it") "Wow!!! " he said aloud "That'll be great"
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Post by phil70 on Aug 27, 2021 19:25:37 GMT
Flappy looked eagerly at John who realised it was a big mistake to show any remote hint of interest in any of Flappy's "plans" Look at this and tell me what you think said Flappy. John poured over the back of the fag packet and the overspill on an old envelope. John put on his haughty voice as he opined on the design. The tricycle was in fact a regular tandem but Flappy had chosen to fit 2 sidecars which acted as a 3rd and 4th wheel, this meant there was plenty of room for Patty and Freya on one side and the 2nd sidecar would contain a mahoosive battery bank which would be used for Flappy's mobile phone plus provide a 240v power supply (via inverter) for the purloined electric motor which Flappy intended to build into the power train. John scratched his head and muttered a bit to himself, weeell on paper it looks OK, then without a word Flappy proceeded to attack the pile of ironwork laying in a heap
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Post by Trina on Aug 27, 2021 20:35:30 GMT
Meanwhile,Mrs BB kept her head in her drinking bucket,she was missing Patty & the white wolf.However,Big Barney the cat was planning how he could take over the bar from the gravy stained cat.He sat & licked his paws(& other placesπ) carefully.With a bit of planning & feline cunning...the gravy stained cat could be ousted. Barney was big,he was cunning,he was big,he was ready to take over & of course...he was BIG.
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Post by JohnV on Aug 27, 2021 20:58:07 GMT
Flappy, put down his favouratise hammer and wiped the sweat from his forehead replacing it with a large smear of rust and grease. "time for a wet" he thought and stauntered into the bar. The Bar Person Thingy plonked a flagon of Gruntfuttocks Finest on the bat, he looked a bit out of sorts, he was feeling overworked and missing his pretty Italian helper. Flappy was glancing round the bar and noticed a strange very big cat sitting in the corner licking it's .......... self. "Blimey" he thought "He looks a proper bruiser, I wonder if he would make an ally against the Gravy Stained Cat"
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Post by JohnV on Aug 30, 2021 12:28:32 GMT
John was muttering under his breath, he had opened the engine room roof on the punt to allow access for his latest project, as soon as he had got everything lined up and the crane fired up ....... it had started raining. He immediately replaced the roof and gathered up all the tools (hammers) and put them under cover and ....... it stopped and the sun came out. .......... and repeat !!! If he could lay his hands on the person who wrote the days weather forecast, he would ............... have strong words for them.
He opened up the lappie and had a look at the rain forecast ....... it showed a sun over him and not a rain cloud for miles !!! This really wasn't on, he had aheck of a lot of modifications to do, With all the aggro with Greta's mob he had built a new engine room bukhead just in front of the mighty Lister which was now accessed only by a secret door, A large reggae speaker system he had hi-jacked from the West Indian center had been modified into the air intake system but with the speakers still prominent. The part of the project he was involved in at the moment was mounting an elecric motor he had pinched from the lift system in the Town Hall the shaft of which went through the bulkhead and was actually driven by the front pulley of the mighty Lister. He had ......aquired some humungeous, but empty battery cases that he was converting into a disguised Diesel tank to supply the Lister ....... anyone snooping down there it would look for all the world like a righteous electric boat (spit) ......... He was slightly concerned that the outside of the punt was now much larger than the inside, but he was sure that if they did notice he could convince them it was a sort of reverse Tardis effect.
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Post by phil70 on Aug 30, 2021 20:03:04 GMT
Flappy looked over John's work and whistled with admiration "Wow that is impressive, nobody would know there was anything untoward with those batteries" . John looked up and drew a sharp breath because Flappy appeared to be wearing black Davy Crocket hat. "I see you have a new hat" said John. Flappy laughed and explained that he had managed to oust the Gravy Stained Cat and replaced it with a genial brute of a cat that had rocked up in the unstable Bar. It was simple really, all I had to do was throw some Dreamies out of the porthole and in a flash the GSC leapt of my shoulders and into the cut. The next move was to simply tuck some Dreamies about my person and voila a replacement cat hat. John was going to ask what the point was but thought better of it. Meanwhile Mrs BB was ignorant of the fact her bruiser of a cat was otherwise engaged so for the moment all was well. Flappy set about persuading John to help him finish off his new quadricycle so he could take Patty for a spin (he had rashly promised her first dibs)
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Post by patty on Aug 31, 2021 12:51:36 GMT
Meanwhile Patty's magic carpet tour beyond the crimson clouds had proved extremely profitable and overloaded they limped homeward bound. Not wishing to jettison anything of importance Patty resolved to travel in a slow and steady fashion. They finally reached the carpark outside the Unstable Bar where the landing gear failed...... Patty desperately steered towards the bar entrance and closed her eyes.......... someone down there would save her she thought
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Post by JohnV on Aug 31, 2021 20:27:11 GMT
John was feeling very pleased with himself, he had almost completed the new Q ship punt (a wolf in sheeps clothing if ever there was) He had just aquired a second large speaker stack for the cooling air outlet for the mighty lister, The dealer a funny chap with a strong Irish accent and a white van with the fading sign
T rmac D ives
He had convinced John that the one thing he needed for the punt was a blow up thingy apparently all the best boats had one .... he called it a "Joyanloyvraf" John was a bit concerned that Flappy would be annoyed at him using some of the beer money on it ...... but John was always a sucker for a bargain ..... or in fact for most things.
The dealer had simply rolled the thingy off the back of the transit tipper and it was now sat, a ginormous fibreglass cylinder, right in front of the bar door.
John wandered over to it and vainly trie to lift one end "I'd better get this moved quick" he muttered to himself "I bet the Coate Faerie will have something in his new Book of the Rules against this"
He walked round the thingy scrutinizing with the finest of scrutes, suddenly he noticed a rope sticking out of one end with the instruction "Pull " on it.
He looked around and spotted Flappy's trusted old trike ...... a sharp observer would have been able to hear the cogs grinding and see the range of expressions flit across his face "Eureka" he shouted and quick as a flash and utilising the days of study over the boys own book of scouting he had the trike securely attached using a special double sheetbend clove hitch granny knot.
Leaping onto Flappy's trusty steed he set off with great determination towards the canal, the rope started paying out from the cylinder, his speed increased his little legs were a blur on the pedals ........... and then the rope stopped ....... so did the trike ...... not so did John.
With an ear splitting shriek John shot over the handlebars and in a graceful arc headed towards the murky waters of the canal.
Meanwhile with an explosive Bang the white fibreglass thingy split apart and unfolded into a mega sized Life Raft .......... It had just fully inflated to it's maximum size when there was simultaneously a giant splash from the direction of the canal and huge thump and a strong hissing sound from the liferaft as it deflated exposing a tangled mass of Patty, The white wolf a bulging handbag, a neatly folded magic carpet and for some strange reason a dazed looking Gravy Stained Cat
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Post by patty on Sept 2, 2021 4:40:12 GMT
Patty untangled herself from the deflating life raft and threw the rope to John who seemed to be taking a bath in the canal and washing his clothes at the same time. Blokes are funny she thought and leaving Flappy to drag his mate out of the murky depths, she dragged all her goodies into the bar calling to BB and Metal Woman to come and check out what she had found.......
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Post by phil70 on Sept 2, 2021 20:01:39 GMT
Flappy ran across the car park to examine his "new" quadricycle, as he checked for damage he heard the strain sounds of a matelot in trouble..... PAN-PAN...... SOS.... MAYDAY.... HELP.... FFS get me out of this blooming cut. Despite not being the sharpest knife in the drawer Flappy guessed that someone needed a hand so he looked around in time to see Patty delicately picking her way across what looked like a pile of debris in the cut. The voice was coming from somewhere behind Patty so Flappy took off to the pile of trash and low and behold there was John struggling in the cut. Flappy took hold of John's fancy bebuckled jacket and heaved, and heaved and "Pop" out came John. We'll do you wanna tell me how you came to be swimming? John took a deep breath but gave upon trying to explain so he just sunk back against the quad bike and took a swig from his hip flask. Meanwhile Flappy had been examening the life raft "Hey John, this is a nice bit of kit, what are we going to do with it. As he spoke Barney the bruise slid from Flappy's person and took up position in the life raft, it was after all nowt but a big box and you all know about cats and boxes. All this activity was watched by a pair of eyes that belonged to the Gravy Stained Cat, he was biding his time just watching and waiting.....
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