Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2018 22:19:27 GMT
Anyway, just seen the courtroom scene again on the news. Sorry but I think it was just self-indulgent behaviour, not thinking about how it would affect his children. Idiot. |
|
|
|
Post by Telemachus on Feb 2, 2018 22:20:37 GMT
I’m sure “somebody” would feel vengeful. Only natural. However I am an engineer and tend to think logically. So if it were my daughter, (having got over “where the hell did she come from”!) my primary concern would be her wellbeing. I would know that if I publicly made a display of my anger and actually damaged the defendant, I might end up in jail myself. And that REALLY wouldn’t help my daughter. And if the media and my behaviour were full of reinforcements about how awful the event was, that would just reinforce the victim feelings in my daughter. Being told over and over again that you are a victim, is not helpful. Of course anger sometimes overpowers logic, but for sure if I had done what that chap had done, I would be remorseful in the cold light of day afterwards because it was counter-productive in helping my daughter and done purely for selfish reasons. I thought you were a failed engineer who turned to flying motorised palm trees across the North Sea? Why did you think that? Once an engineer always an engineer. In fact I was born an engineer. That I decided to change my job to one where I got paid twice as much for doing half as much work, doesn’t indicate that I failed. |
|
|
|
Post by Telemachus on Feb 2, 2018 22:21:17 GMT
Anyway, just seen the courtroom scene again on the news. Sorry but I think it was just self-indulgent behaviour, not thinking about how it would affect his children. Idiot. Seems a bit harsh, I wouldn’t call him an idiot, just that he allowed his chimp brain to take over. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2018 22:21:27 GMT
He's failed at EVERYTHING if he truly believes parents have already let their children down if they have suffered abuse!
As usual with our friend Telemachus, he speaks but doesn't always think about the full implications of that which he said.
Of course, on occasion we are all guilty of this don't you think.
Rog
|
|
|
|
Post by lollygagger on Feb 2, 2018 22:23:02 GMT
Lollygagger, that's a story I hear from parents all the time. Glad some of you are willing to accept the pain. It'd be crap if everyone was like me and Telemachus. Rog Hard to put into words without sounding trite, but it's not a matter of accepting, it's just somehow not possible. There are many times I'd liked to have run for it and there will be many more I'm sure but when push comes to shove your children are more important than you are, they are your reason for existing. |
|
|
|
Post by Telemachus on Feb 2, 2018 22:25:29 GMT
He's failed at EVERYTHING if he truly believes parents have already let their children down if they have suffered abuse! As usual with our friend Telemachus, he speaks but doesn't always think about the full implications of that which he said. Of course, on occasion we are all guilty of this don't you think. Rog You didn’t read my reply to your earlier criticism on the matter. I would be fairly sure that the parents would feel they’d let their children down and vice versa. Of course a dispassionate 3rd party view would quite possibily be contrary (depending on the circumstances) but that wasn’t the point. |
|
|
|
Post by Telemachus on Feb 2, 2018 22:27:19 GMT
Lollygagger, that's a story I hear from parents all the time. Glad some of you are willing to accept the pain. It'd be crap if everyone was like me and Telemachus. Rog Hard to put into words without sounding trite, but it's not a matter of accepting, it's just somehow not possible. There are many times I'd liked to have run for it and there will be many more I'm sure but when push comes to shove your children are more important than you are, they are your reason for existing. Ah yes, the selfish gene in action. Not that I am denigrating it - if it wasn’t like that, the human race would have died out long ago. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2018 22:28:26 GMT
My old Dad tried to say something similar to me in his last few months.
All my family had children but me (through choice).
I think that emotional link is missing from me, but I hope I'm wise enough to realise the rest of them know more about children than I could even hope to imagine.
Rog
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2018 22:32:37 GMT
I thought you were a failed engineer who turned to flying motorised palm trees across the North Sea? Why did you think that? Once an engineer always an engineer. In fact I was born an engineer. That I decided to change my job to one where I got paid twice as much for doing half as much work, doesn’t indicate that I failed. You are unusually grumpy this evening  |
|
|
|
Post by lollygagger on Feb 2, 2018 22:34:40 GMT
He's failed at EVERYTHING if he truly believes parents have already let their children down if they have suffered abuse! As usual with our friend Telemachus, he speaks but doesn't always think about the full implications of that which he said. Of course, on occasion we are all guilty of this don't you think. Rog He puts his trust in logic above emotion, believing this makes his opinions more valuable. Or possibly as a defense, perhaps he's shy really. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2018 22:34:41 GMT
He's failed at EVERYTHING if he truly believes parents have already let their children down if they have suffered abuse! As usual with our friend Telemachus, he speaks but doesn't always think about the full implications of that which he said. Of course, on occasion we are all guilty of this don't you think. Rog You didn’t read my reply to your earlier criticism on the matter. I would be fairly sure that the parents would feel they’d let their children down and vice versa. Of course a dispassionate 3rd party view would quite possibily be contrary (depending on the circumstances) but that wasn’t the point. To say parents of abused children have already 'let them down' is appalling, ignorant, and unforgivable in my view. The breach of trust involved before any physical abuse can take place is the real issue. You do yourself no favours attempting to support such a disgraceful opinion. Rog |
|
|
|
Post by Telemachus on Feb 2, 2018 22:35:25 GMT
My old Dad tried to say something similar to me in his last few months. All my family had children but me (through choice). I think that emotional link is missing from me, but I hope I'm wise enough to realise the rest of them know more about children than I could even hope to imagine. Rog However, sometimes one can be too close to an issue to see it clearly, and a more dispassionate view is the more accurate and beneficial. For example the obese children who have been spoilt by too much “nice” food, being ferried to school by car, spending too much time in their bedrooms playing with their tablets/computers/smartphones/x-boxes etc etc |
|
|
|
Post by Trina on Feb 2, 2018 22:36:19 GMT
As a retired teacher( after 35 yrs 4 yrs ago),some children have broken my heart.I worked in some rather poor areas( not saying rich areas had no problems, but I never worked there).Children don't tend to tell you what's going on but sometimes you just knew by their facial expressions or reactions.I was just a teacher but my bessy mate who was the child protection officer,had to live with the truth.😦
|
|
|
|
Post by Telemachus on Feb 2, 2018 22:37:04 GMT
You didn’t read my reply to your earlier criticism on the matter. I would be fairly sure that the parents would feel they’d let their children down and vice versa. Of course a dispassionate 3rd party view would quite possibily be contrary (depending on the circumstances) but that wasn’t the point. To say parents of abused children have already 'let them down' is appalling, ignorant, and unforgivable in my view. The breach of trust involved before any physical abuse can take place is the real issue. You do yourself no favours attempting to support such a disgraceful opinion. Rog You are too busy enjoying being outraged to actually read what I said. Never mind, I would hate to spoil your fun. |
|
|
|
Post by dyertribe on Feb 2, 2018 22:39:12 GMT
I think the comment about the father feeling guilty that he hadn't been able to prevent the abuse happening to his daughter is probably close to the truth.
I'm sure I would have beaten myself up if something similar had happened to my daughter and her father would have felt even worse as the urge for a dad to protect his daughter is overwhelming.
Was it a good idea to do what he did? Probably not.
Do I understand why he wanted to do it? Hell, yes.
|
|
