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Post by Andyberg on Sept 6, 2018 8:30:58 GMT
So... Whenever things don't go your way in life, you loose your job, miss out on a cheap deal, get caught dogging by the Feds and your name gets plastered all over the local press etc, there is always some twat that will tell us that 'everything happens for a reason' or that 'things happen for the best'.
I suppose for a lot of people it could be the case when you look further down the line,
even if at the time it seems bad ( your missus buys the local press for example!), But how about when something really terrible happens - like loss of a loved one, breakup of a good relationship etc Is this really 'For the best' ?
Whats your thoughts? Is it just urban myth along with other twaddle like 'You make your own luck' & 'Crime doesn't pay' or are there some deeper / darker things going on?
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Post by thebfg on Sept 6, 2018 8:48:25 GMT
nothing happens for the best.
if something bad happens, whatever it maybe it s not that that turns out for the best. it's how you recover and put it behind you.
it's how you pick yourself up from the gutter and rebuild your life that counts.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2018 10:51:57 GMT
the worst thing that happened in my life was my mum killing herself (2015). I was very close to her. Fortunately not at the time she hanged herself I was miles away so I did not have to clean up ! I hate cleaning.
Anyway other family members thought it was all very terrible and it is quite shocking but at the end of the day it means there isn't an annoying geriatric single parent to deal with because she was only 71 and physically healthy likely to do another 20 years if the black dog hadn't caught up.
I explained this to some other people they thought I must be some loony. To be honest I'm glad to not to have a geriatric irritating mother to deal with as I get older I'd rather deal with the woman and kids.
So yes I believe bad shit happens for a reason and sometimes bad shit leads to positive outcomes.
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 6, 2018 11:06:56 GMT
Methinks Andyberg needs to find a hobby for his days off. Perhaps letters to the Telegraph with a "Why oh why" theme.
How about hiking in the Lake District? It's right next door.
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Post by bills on Sept 6, 2018 11:57:24 GMT
Methinks Andyberg needs to find a hobby for his days off. Perhaps letters to the Telegraph with a "Why oh why" theme. How about hiking in the Lake District? It's right next door.
We could set up a justgiving page to buy him some hiking boots and a nice bobble hat.
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Post by Mr Stabby on Sept 6, 2018 12:08:03 GMT
I pretty much agree with Baldy, all you can do when something unwanted happens is to arrange the cards you have to make the best possible hand. At the time I would rather my last relationship had worked out but the fact that it failed was the catalyst for me moving on to my boat, and my life is as good as it has ever been as a result of that. I earn far more money in the Midlands than I could in East Kent, my living expenses have dropped by 75%, and I can spend six months a year faffing around on the cut.
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Post by naughtyfox on Sept 6, 2018 13:51:29 GMT
Methinks Andyberg needs to find a hobby for his days off. Perhaps letters to the Telegraph with a "Why oh why" theme. How about hiking in the Lake District? It's right next door.
We could set up a justgiving page to buy him some hiking boots and a nice bobble hat.
 Where's Andy? |
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Post by thebfg on Sept 6, 2018 16:50:54 GMT
A good friend of mine, a store manager from another store was coming to work and party with me at Reading festival.
he went on a stag party and the day before he was due to pick me up he had a bad accident.
three days later they turned of his life support machine.
a few of us knew him. so I think like me we all took some time to ourselves however we decided that we would do exactly what he wanted to do. we got extremely drunk danced around at work( whilst serving) and watched loads of bands. this continued for 8 days.
we had a great time, it was exactly like we both thought it would be. it was very sad and personally I missed him and was sad but instead of moping around all week we did it his way and for that I'm greatfall.
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Post by patty on Sept 6, 2018 18:15:43 GMT
I'm drinking vino and eating Malteser's ...other chocolate available..and giving this topic serious consideration..hang on more maltese's and vino refill needed
I grew to despise..."what goes around, comes around'...said to 'justify' 'excuse' terrible vindictive behaviour..
I don't like..'what doesn't kill you makes u stronger'...or the Pollyanna brigade who find joy and happiness in shit...
or those who go on about people who have suffered far worse so that what I went through was a mere nothing really..
So where does that leave me?...What do I think?
Well for starters a 'white rose does not signify love'..a christmas card 'to my darling wife' was but a pack of lies...given 2 days before he ditched me and 4 days before I found out about her.
'everything happens for a reason' or that 'things happen for the best'...as to that statement..yeah maybe because despite the awfulness and dreadful years I went through I am now in a happier more content place..my mind no longer manipulated (much)..I am my own boss, I can stay up all night, eat chocolate for tea and live the life I want...well nearly..
Nothing is ever perfect and the people who screwed up my mind and destroyed my health never got 'what they deserved' or 'bad karma'..but who is to say what they deserve..guess they got each other..
What I have learnt is there is only me who really cares that what happens is best for me...
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Post by Mr Stabby on Sept 6, 2018 18:26:48 GMT
Nothing is ever perfect and the people who screwed up my mind and destroyed my health never got 'what they deserved' or 'bad karma'..but who is to say what they deserve..guess they got each other.. What I have learnt is there is only me who really cares that what happens is best for me... The two things I've learned over the years are these... 1) Whether things are good or bad, they will eventually change. 2) If something bad happens, you have two choices. To bounce back from it, or to let it destroy you. And that decision is entirely in your hands. I lived in Moscow in the early 1990s and Russians have a very simplistic saying, "to live a life is not as easy as to cross a field". Russian sayings are widely mocked in the west, but it's true. Shit happens. Keep calm and carry on. |
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Post by lollygagger on Sept 6, 2018 19:25:52 GMT
I was going to post a long post but I changed my mind.
Miss, Miss, Patty said "shit"!
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Post by Trina on Sept 6, 2018 19:42:19 GMT
I went through a bad phase myself Patty.Dad died Sept'93,mum died Nov'93 & my only brother who'd been in remission from lymph cancer a few times-was given 6 weeks to live in April 94...he managed 4 weeks.This left me,for ages I just couldn't seem to accept that I was the only one left & healthy.I'd also had a short lived marriage but was with Paul(since 1990).Paul has been my absolute rock- together 28 years & married for over 21.There are still days when I wonder why I'm the only one left but they are few & far between.Lots of us have all kinds of baggage but we cope,carry on & enjoy the life we have.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2018 19:54:38 GMT
Bad stuff hits everyone of us.
We lose control and are tossed around like driftwood, and it's tough to get your feet back on solid ground.
But I think we all recognize this as being part of life. The strong find a way to move on, but not all are as fortunate.
I think that's why appeals, charity collections etc work on the whole, because the bad times are a shared human condition.
I love the french saying 'Paise the god of all, drink the wine, and let the world be the world'.
Rog
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Post by patty on Sept 6, 2018 20:15:41 GMT
I went through a bad phase myself Patty.Dad died Sept'93,mum died Nov'93 & my only brother who'd been in remission from lymph cancer a few times-was given 6 weeks to live in April 94...he managed 4 weeks.This left me,for ages I just couldn't seem to accept that I was the only one left & healthy.I'd also had a short lived marriage but was with Paul(since 1990).Paul has been my absolute rock- together 28 years & married for over 21.There are still days when I wonder why I'm the only one left but they are few & far between.Lots of us have all kinds of baggage but we cope,carry on & enjoy the life we have. You are right and most of the time I carry on and enjoy what I have carved out for myself...its the triggers that cause ripples but we all have them...thats when being alone can be tough..but I'm not looking for anyone..I've been alone to long now and TBH after a day or so I normally manage to process stuff. |
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Post by patty on Sept 6, 2018 20:16:18 GMT
Miss, Miss, Patty said "shit"! I blame the vino..... |
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