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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2021 17:24:15 GMT
If you take an infinite number of monkeys and set them typing away on an infinite number of keyboards, one of them will will eventually write... Hey hey, we're the Monkees.If you take an infinite number of monkeys and set them typing away on an infinite number of keyboards, one of them will will eventually write... Hey hey, we're the Monkees.That was fairly dire but don't lose heart, with some perseverence you might manage to plumb the depths of ghastly jokes achieved by one on here It’s worth taking note of John - some of his are bloody awful! I’ll reuse this one,,, I say chap, my dogs got no nose! How does he smell? Terrible!!!! Coat get I’ll etc.... 🤪🍻👍
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Post by Jim on Feb 5, 2021 19:11:47 GMT
If you take an infinite number of monkeys and set them typing away on an infinite number of keyboards, one of them will will eventually write... Hey hey, we're the Monkees.That was fairly dire but don't lose heart, with some perseverence you might manage to plumb the depths of ghastly jokes achieved by one on here Well young @magnetman has improved, with a bit of supervision. There is hope. 😋
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Joke Time
Feb 5, 2021 19:14:47 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2021 19:14:47 GMT
Not sure about that I got the impression nobody got my jokes so i had to downgrade them to be more consumable.
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Joke Time
Feb 5, 2021 19:23:45 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Feb 5, 2021 19:23:45 GMT
Not sure about that I got the impression nobody got my jokes so i had to downgrade them to be more consumable. Don't restrain yourself, go for it, it's got to be better than the Daily Mail. Ask naughtyfox for the joke book, when you've done with it pass it on to @chunderer (nurse can't remember the name either).
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2021 19:26:33 GMT
I have to restrain my humour with Very Large cable ties otherwise I get into trouble very quickly.
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Joke Time
Feb 5, 2021 19:30:11 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Feb 5, 2021 19:30:11 GMT
I have to restrain my humour with Very Large cable ties otherwise I get into trouble very quickly. FREE THE FUNNY ONE!
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2021 19:53:41 GMT
It's quite dangerous.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2021 13:55:47 GMT
Went off to the chemists this morning for some viagra. They had the introductory 2 pack, so I purchased and asked the assistant if she could open them and divide each tablet into four. Certainly she replied, but I’m not sure you’ll get the full result taking just a quarter of a tablet. No, I know that, and I don’t particularly want the full result, I just want enough to stop me from peeing on my feet when I go to the loo.
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Joke Time
Feb 14, 2021 15:02:25 GMT
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Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2021 15:02:25 GMT
And from the accidental makers of Viagra (Pfizer) comes a Covid19 vaccine with one notable side effect being a stiff arm.
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Joke Time
Feb 23, 2021 17:52:35 GMT
via mobile
Post by Jim on Feb 23, 2021 17:52:35 GMT
SOME "GOOD" PUNS: 1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson. 2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled. 3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move. 4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm. 5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price. 6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on. 7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around. 8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene. 9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars. 10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer. 11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough. 12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band. 13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it. 14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark. 15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell. 16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare. 17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.” 18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence. 19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering. 20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find. 21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road. 22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re. 23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.” 24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self. 25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 23, 2021 18:11:45 GMT
I'll have no.16 please.
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Post by Mr Stabby on Apr 23, 2021 20:55:28 GMT
Shania isn't talking to me. She said I ruined her birthday. I've got no idea how, I didn't even know it was her birthday.
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Post by Mr Stabby on Apr 23, 2021 21:22:39 GMT
A Yorkshireman is on his deathbed.
He says "Is my wife here?" She says "Aye, Pet".
He says "Are my children here?" They say "Aye Dad".
He says "Are my grandchildren here?" They chorus "Aye Grandad!"
He says "Then why's the bloody light on in the hall?".
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Post by Deleted on Apr 27, 2021 19:40:06 GMT
One day on the towpath...
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Post by ianali on Apr 29, 2021 13:14:42 GMT
I’ve put all my dogging gear up for sale on eBay. No bids yet but there are seven watchers.
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