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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2020 6:53:43 GMT
I'm sober this morning - I think mental health is becoming more acceptable to discuss publicly these days ... that has to be a good thing. I'm not embarrassed at sharing my feelings about things ... we ALL have shit to deal with but so long as we can all be concerned about OTHER people's crap (perhaps above our own) then the world will continue to be decent place... which, fundamentally it actually is.... GOODNESS is all around - it's just that it doesn't make a song and dance about it's presence... quietly poddling along in the background with little acts of kindness, understanding and empathy making MASSIVE differences to someone's world. I know that may sound a bit wet, but as none of us can ever really know what's going on inside someones head, i do air (err?) on the side of caution for the most part - well unless someones a total knob... and even then, I can't help but wonder WHY they are a knob and if there is any way I can ease their demons. I've always been pretty open about stuff. I think it's better to be open as we can all learn from each others experiences. I don't think it's wise to use past bad experiences as an excuse for bad behaviour but it does help explain things sometimes. A little bit of kindness goes a long way doesn't it?
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Post by quaysider on Jun 8, 2020 6:57:22 GMT
Kindness REALLY is underrated - When I'm dead, no matter how many 'bad things' are said about me, so long as it's agreed that I was kind, I'll have had a meaningful life.
Ironically, I'm kind for MY sake as much as anyone else's.
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Post by JohnV on Jun 8, 2020 7:23:06 GMT
Nice attitude Mark.
I was not brought up to put my feelings on public display.
An attitude that helped at boarding school where exposing any gap in your armour was not a good idea.
I was brought up in a family that although very loving and caring did not make a great show about it.
We didn't talk about it*, we weren't a "huggy" family but I was never ever in doubt that I was loved.
My parents are long gone, my Father died over 40 years ago and my Mother 15 years ago.
My sister and I are the last of our family and we remain very close to this day.
The only time the word "love" is used is on a Christmas or Birthday card.
We don't have to tell one another how much we care ....... we know.
* It is one thing that my sister and I talk about sometimes, there is a huge amount of our family history that is unclear or unknown because our parents didn't talk about it, I know absolutely nothing about my Father's, Father and his side of the family. He was very unwilling to talk about it. It is only because it is a rare name that I have been able to find out as much as I have.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2020 8:16:47 GMT
Reading this thread has further made me realise how fortunate I am ... or shallow, I'm not sure which.
I clearly look outward, rather than in ... I wonder if excessive introspection is a curse.
My mood is just whatever it is ... I never seek to examine the reasoning, but try to lighten it usually by music or reading matter.
I see drinking as a recreation, like reading a book or playing board games ... sometimes it's a good idea, sometimes I'm not bothered.
Despite all that I totally agree with the comments about interaction with others ... a smile is contagious ... an act of kindness is its own reward.
I am in the fortunate position that self-harm is almost incomprehensible to me ... doesn't mean I am not sympathetic or feel the need to try and help ... just that I cannot understand it.
A glimpse behind our individual mask is always thought provoking.
Rog
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Post by patty on Jun 8, 2020 11:06:51 GMT
Reading this thread has further made me realise how fortunate I am ... or shallow, I'm not sure which. I clearly look outward, rather than in ... I wonder if excessive introspection is a curse. My mood is just whatever it is ... I never seek to examine the reasoning, but try to lighten it usually by music or reading matter. I see drinking as a recreation, like reading a book or playing board games ... sometimes it's a good idea, sometimes I'm not bothered. Despite all that I totally agree with the comments about interaction with others ... a smile is contagious ... an act of kindness is its own reward. I am in the fortunate position that self-harm is almost incomprehensible to me ... doesn't mean I am not sympathetic or feel the need to try and help ... just that I cannot understand it. A glimpse behind our individual mask is always thought provoking. Rog Many years ago a counsellor that I saw for a few sessions(not many cos I twigged he was possibly sharing confidences with 3rd party) told me that some American shrinks advocated hurting oneself as a means of distracting from inner pain caused by mental health trauma.....I didn't really gel with this individual and thought some of his advice 'unwise'...anyway I quit as there was something bit not right....
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Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2020 11:40:49 GMT
Reading this thread has further made me realise how fortunate I am ... or shallow, I'm not sure which. I clearly look outward, rather than in ... I wonder if excessive introspection is a curse. My mood is just whatever it is ... I never seek to examine the reasoning, but try to lighten it usually by music or reading matter. I see drinking as a recreation, like reading a book or playing board games ... sometimes it's a good idea, sometimes I'm not bothered. Despite all that I totally agree with the comments about interaction with others ... a smile is contagious ... an act of kindness is its own reward. I am in the fortunate position that self-harm is almost incomprehensible to me ... doesn't mean I am not sympathetic or feel the need to try and help ... just that I cannot understand it. A glimpse behind our individual mask is always thought provoking. Rog Many years ago a counsellor that I saw for a few sessions(not many cos I twigged he was possibly sharing confidences with 3rd party) told me that some American shrinks advocated hurting oneself as a means of distracting from inner pain caused by mental health trauma.....I didn't really gel with this individual and thought some of his advice 'unwise'...anyway I quit as there was something bit not right.... I had a few councelling sessions with a New Zealand lady about 8 years ago when I had my last wobbly patch. She was very good and I'll always remember she wore a very short skirt....anyway I digress... The biggest thing which came out of the sessions which helped a lot was how you can use the logical part of the brain to calm down the emotional part. Both parts are as important as each other but the emotional part is much older and reacts to threats which logic might determine is not a threat. This was exactly what was causing my panic and distress with the tinnitus when I first got it. Once I started to apply logic and built up confidence in the short periods I hadn't noticed the sound, things gradually got better. Looking back, I think the tinnitus was mainly a warning that things weren't right in my life. That's when I bought the boat to live on. Things have been great over the last 8 years so hopefully I've found who I really am. All I need to do now is work out what I want to be when I grow up.
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