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Post by Telemachus on Feb 6, 2018 9:05:30 GMT
A similar situation?: You're shopping with your partner, or friend, or mum, and someone rushes up to them and thumps them in the face, kicks them in the groin, and then runs away with their handbag (!). You feel guilty because: 1) You shouldn't have taken them shopping on a Tuesday 2) You should have done more training so you could run faster, catch the thief, and return the handbag 3) You knew you should have gone to Tesco's because it's cheaper there and their own brand fig rolls are better, but you insisted on Waitrose as its for a better class of shopper 4) If only you had bought enough groceries last week, you wouldn't have needed to go shopping today at all and could have stayed at home watching One Man and His Sheep - but then an aeroplane could have dropped on your house killing those people (as a la Locherbie) and you then would have to feel guilty that you didn't take them to Waitrose - or Tesco's - or... hang on! I think that is a slightly different situation because it doesn’t have the parent/child genetically programmed relationaship. But how about the feelings of parents who allowed their young daughters to go to an Ariana Grande concert, but who never came home. That must be similar. |
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Post by kris on Feb 6, 2018 9:09:45 GMT
and I firmly believe we as a group have to find a way of dealing with it I'm no team player, I plough my own furrow to my own impending doom which is tea and scones with the Devil. I do hope it is Yorkshire and not that PG Tips muck. completely agree Yorkshire tea is much better than PG. |
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Post by Telemachus on Feb 6, 2018 9:15:36 GMT
And if you recall, what kicked this all of was someone justifying trying to beat up the defendant in court so as no to let down their child. I can see some dumb redneck thinking that was a good idea, but in my opinion people who have suffered severe trauma tend to just want to curl up and avoid further embarrassment and publicity. It will have been hard enough for them to report the event and testify in court. The last thing they want is their father plastered all over the international news acting out some Neanderthal behaviour pattern.
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Post by Telemachus on Feb 6, 2018 9:22:35 GMT
"they should protect their kids and if that doesn’t work out, they tend to feel it’s their fault." - I shall let this pass, but in my case not necessarily so - I may feel that it was not my fault at all, at all. "Perhaps I had an unduly short fuse in this case but it is the product of this place." - I have short fuses sometimes but find TB is a place to defuse the tension. I'm not sure that I have ever been angry with anyone here, in fact if I was, I would look at myself for the fault - strange to say, kris has pointed out at least one of my faults, and I agree with him, he's not as daft as some make out. We are talking generalisations with a population of parents in the billions, so nothing said can be categoric and surely it isn’t necessary to take extreme care to always specify that it’s a generalisation - it is obviously so. But I am confident that what I say applies to the vast majority of people from our (western) culture. You may well feel that such a thing is not your fault at all - on a rational and conscious level - whilst feeling guilt on a subconscious and emotional level. It is not a black and white simplistic thing and you are fighting millions of years of genetics. my short fuse arises because whenever I post something “serious” someone always comes along to derail it by making stupid and/or deliberate misinterpretations and/or personal insults, so it is rarely possible to explore the actual subject matter. Bearing in mind you rarely post anything “serious” you probably don’t see it! (and that is not an insult, it’s just who you are!) |
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Post by Telemachus on Feb 6, 2018 9:23:50 GMT
"A thickie who is for some reason using a near-invisible font." - it's the brightest yellow, shows up nicely here against a blue background, just like the flag of Europe's Rape Capital (endless child abuse there!): ![]() It is not readable on the white skin which I believe most people use - but if you are using the blue skin that explains it! Looks like this, pretty much invisible towards the end  |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 9:25:04 GMT
And if you recall, what kicked this all of was someone justifying trying to beat up the defendant in court so as to let down their child. I can see some dumb redneck thinking that was a good idea, but in my opinion people who have suffered severe trauma tend to just want to curl up and avoid further embarrassment and publicity. It will have been hard enough for them to report the event and testify in court. The last thing they want is their father plastered all over the international news acting out some Neanderthal behaviour pattern. For clarity, that was a different thread 'Would you do the same'. This is a thread about carefully choosing words and being responsible for them. Secondly, your quoted paragraph suggests that there are your own views which are obviously right, and then other views from "dumb rednecks". I'm sure this isn't the message you wished to convey, could you clarify please. Rog |
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Post by kris on Feb 6, 2018 9:26:57 GMT
"A thickie who is for some reason using a near-invisible font." - it's the brightest yellow, shows up nicely here against a blue background, just like the flag of Europe's Rape Capital (endless child abuse there!): ![]() It is not readable on the white skin which I believe most people use - but if you are using the blue skin that explains it! just because you use it, doesn't mean most people use it. Your so self centred, Jeff must be long suffering to put up with your narcism. |
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Post by Telemachus on Feb 6, 2018 9:34:00 GMT
And if you recall, what kicked this all of was someone justifying trying to beat up the defendant in court so as to let down their child. I can see some dumb redneck thinking that was a good idea, but in my opinion people who have suffered severe trauma tend to just want to curl up and avoid further embarrassment and publicity. It will have been hard enough for them to report the event and testify in court. The last thing they want is their father plastered all over the international news acting out some Neanderthal behaviour pattern. For clarity, that was a different thread 'Would you do the same'. This is a thread about carefully choosing words and being responsible for them. Secondly, your quoted paragraph suggests that there are your own views which are obviously right, and then other views from "dumb rednecks". I'm sure this isn't the message you wished to convey, could you clarify please. Rog You are correct, different thread. But I’m not clear about your question. I posted that I could see a dumb redneck thinking it was a good idea. Dumb rednecks tend to think with their fists and feel that violence is the best solution to any problem. It sort of goes with the description. Do you disagree? For clarity, I wasn’t referring to someone without the power of speech who had spent too long in the sun without suncream. And secondly that in cases such as this, violence is not the best solution and especially in the circumstances we were talking about, where there was a vulnerable third party to consider. I’m not sure I have answered the question you were asking because I don’t think I fully understand your point - in which case please clarify. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 9:45:17 GMT
Thanks.
Your post suggests to me that you believe your view is right and that opposing views are those of dumb rednecks trying to justify their Neanderthal actions.
I am paraphrasing rather than quoting.
I accept that isn't what you intended.
Rog
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Post by kris on Feb 6, 2018 9:55:36 GMT
Thanks. Your post suggests to me that you believe your view is right and that opposing views are those of dumb rednecks trying to justify their Neanderthal actions. I am paraphrasing rather than quoting. I accept that isn't what you intended. Rog i wouldn't be so sure, Nick tends to think he is a superior being. |
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Post by Telemachus on Feb 6, 2018 10:32:27 GMT
Thanks. Your post suggests to me that you believe your view is right and that opposing views are those of dumb rednecks trying to justify their Neanderthal actions. I am paraphrasing rather than quoting. I accept that isn't what you intended. Rog Your logic seems to be along the lines of “elephants are grey, therefore anything grey is an elephant”. Once again it seems that where there are choices of interpretation, by default you choose the one that you find the most offensive. At least this time we have been able to clear it up amicably. Oh and by the way, where you say “you believe your view is right” surely that is normal? Or do you often post views that you know are not right? Believing your post to be right at the time you post it, vs dismissing any other view as rubbish/wrong/unacceptable, are of course entirely different things. One accepts that others have a right to hold different views and have them respected, whilst at the same time feeling that one’s own view is right, surely? |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 10:48:23 GMT
Thanks. Your post suggests to me that you believe your view is right and that opposing views are those of dumb rednecks trying to justify their Neanderthal actions. I am paraphrasing rather than quoting. I accept that isn't what you intended. Rog Your logic seems to be along the lines of “elephants are grey, therefore anything grey is an elephant”. Once again it seems that where there are choices of interpretation, by default you choose the one that you find the most offensive. At least this time we have been able to clear it up amicably. Oh and by the way, where you say “you believe your view is right” surely that is normal? Or do you often post views that you know are not right? Believing your post to be right at the time you post it, vs dismissing any other view as rubbish/wrong/unacceptable, are of course entirely different things. One accepts that others have a right to hold different views and have them respected, whilst at the same time feeling that one’s own view is right, surely? The fact is, what you describe as your view is in reality nothing of the sort. You make a statement with the fullest intentions of causing a stir. Once someone retaliates, you then start insulting them. You set out to do this from the offset having predetermined that this is your goal for the day. You're in reality an internet troll, it's as simple as that. |
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Post by thebfg on Feb 6, 2018 11:05:44 GMT
And if you recall, what kicked this all of was someone justifying trying to beat up the defendant in court so as no to let down their child. I can see some dumb redneck thinking that was a good idea, but in my opinion people who have suffered severe trauma tend to just want to curl up and avoid further embarrassment and publicity. It will have been hard enough for them to report the event and testify in court. The last thing they want is their father plastered all over the international news acting out some Neanderthal behaviour pattern. Not necessarily a redneck. This father could of been the kindest and most supporting father. This could of been the first time he had seen the abuser since finding out. Maybe the abuser had been sat ther laughing and saying he did no wrong. Who knows but in that situation no one can be 100 % sure of hot they might react. He .might just be an angry drunk. |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 6, 2018 11:15:42 GMT
I wasn't going to post on this subject again, but for better or worse here goes...
I'm no redneck, far from it (much more of a pacifist) but at one time the only way I could deal with my anger was by buying a dartboard and darts, printing off a picture of the relevant consultant, pinning the picture to the board and constantly throwing darts at or stabbing the picture. Severe anger is understandable, everyone will deal with it in their own way.
As for guilt, after my wife's death I dealt with my most obvious guilt by talking to friends and family, but there were things I just couldn't tell them so didn't have an outlet. How do you tell other people who are also grieving that you nearly 'murdered' her - especially when you still are not sure whether you did the right thing - easier to say now but after years have past.
PS. Not having a go at anyone just giving a different perspective to the debate.
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Post by Jim on Feb 6, 2018 12:02:50 GMT
Is it? I haven't responded to him for several hours.. my money's on you Martin, I reckon you'd eat hm for dinner everytime, it's that terrier mentality. Well, similar, but due to inbreeding- Tha can allus tell a yorkshireman, but tha cannot tell him much! |
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